


Confused

by thispieceofwork



Series: Confused [1]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-16
Updated: 2016-08-02
Packaged: 2018-07-28 23:25:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 60,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7661296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thispieceofwork/pseuds/thispieceofwork
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zuko stood. "You told Aang you were confused. Are you confused because of me?" Katara was silent, arms crossed in front of her. "Don't make me answer that." Zutara, rated MA. Contains explicit, but plot important, sexual situations. </p><p>Originally published many moons ago on fanfiction.net under the penname "akiko-dono". THIS IS STILL ME. Just changing names for the new forum. I plan to do a sequel to this story on AO3, and would like for people who might want to read it to be able to read the first installment all on the same site.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Ember Island Players

**Author's Note:**

> Hello friends, 
> 
> This is the first story in a series I always meant to pick up, but never got around to finishing. I've posted all of it as it appears on fanfiction.net under the penname "akiko-dono", but again, don't worry, it's me. I plan to pick up this ship (and maybe a few more!) and publish on this site as well as fanfiction.net and wanted to make it easier for folks who may have found me here to read what is arguably my most well-received work.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!
> 
> \--thispieceofwork, aka akiko-dono
> 
> AN FROM ORIGINAL POSTING ON FF.NET:
> 
> AN: I do not own any of these characters or any of the dialogue in this show. I am merely a fan who felt robbed of Zutara, and now I'm fixing it for myself and whoever wants to read it. I'm not sure how far this story will go, if I'll delve into Korra plot or if I'll just stick with ATLA. But there is definitely at least another chapter, and depending on reviews, who knows? Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Also, this is my first ever Zutara fic, and my first time writing in years. Rated MA for later chapters, this segment is M.
> 
> Setting: The gAang is at The Ember Island Players show and Zuko overhears Katara and Aang's discussion on the balcony. Feelings follow.

Intermission. _Finally._ Zuko knew it had been an awful idea to see this play. The acting was pathetic, the characters were nothing like them, and worst of all, it had got him thinking. He'd been trying to do less of that since he'd joined the Avatar's group. Thinking was dangerous. He glanced to his right as Katara started to stand.

Thinking was very dangerous.

But even as poorly acted as it was, seeing him and Katara in that cave again brought back memories. Of how she had trusted him. Of how she had opened up about her mother. Of the strange feeling that possessed him when she cried, a feeling that begged his arms to embrace her. He'd never felt that warm before, not even with Mai.

And worst of all, it brought back the guilt. Agni, but he was good at guilt. Katara had trusted him, believed enough in his goodness to do the right thing, and he failed the test. He failed her. It didn't sit well with him, even after their trip together. Katara seemed more comfortable around him, seemed to have accepted him into the group, but it wasn't enough.

Because in that cave, for the smallest second, she had accepted him into her heart. And that betrayal would take more than time to heal.

Zuko stood to stretch his legs, wandering out of the theatre with the group. Katara wanted to look for Aang. She was always looking for Aang, it seemed. Sokka and Suki went off to who knows where, and that left him and Toph. Even blind, she was one of the most perceptive members of their group, and she could feel that Zuko was down.

He told her about his uncle. It was a huge part of why he felt this way, but if he were honest, it wasn't the whole reason. He wanted it to be just his betrayal of his uncle—that was a huge mistake that he could never undo. He should be angry with himself for that. But that moment with Katara…it was hurtful, yes. But Uncle Iroh raised him. That betrayal cut deep. He had just met Katara.

So why did his betrayal of her sting just as badly?

A small child ran from the theatre and stopped in front of him. "Your Zuko costume is pretty good, but the scar's on the wrong side." The child took off running down the hall while Toph laughed.

Zuko nearly burned the little jerk's cape right off him. "The scar is NOT on the wrong side!" he bellowed, but it only made Toph laugh more. Frustrated, he pulled his hood over his head. Toph kept laughing.

"Would you stop it?"

"Geez, cool it Sparky. You have to admit, that was funny."

Zuko took a deep breath and stood. "I'm going to find Aang and Katara. The play's probably going to start soon."

He walked off in the direction of Katara, unsure exactly where outside she was checking. He heard voices he recognized and followed them. He was about to walk onto the balcony when he heard Aang's angry voice.

"…I would probably be in the Avatar state right now!"

Zuko decided not to interfere. It was obvious Katara and Aang had some kind of history. He knew it was wrong to listen. Good guys don't eavesdrop on personal conversations.

Well, he was new at this. He kept listening.

"Katara…did you really mean what you said in there?"

"In where? What are you talking about?"

"On stage! When you said I was just like a brother to you, and you didn't have feelings for me."

 _Wow._ Sometimes it was easy to forget that Aang was only 13. And then sometimes he made it painfully obvious.

"I didn't say that. An actor said that."

"But it's true, isn't it?" Aang sounded really upset, so much so that Zuko almost pitied him.

Aang continued. "We kissed at the invasion, and I thought we were gonna be together…but we're not."

_They kissed?_ Any sympathetic feelings Zuko had were replaced by jealousy, and then that jealousy was replaced by shame. Of course they kissed. It made complete sense, they'd been friends for so long now. He didn't have any claim on Katara. Not pausing to examine the fact that some part of him _did_ want a claim on Katara, he kept listening.

"Aang…I don't know."

"Why don't you know?"

"Because we're in the middle of a war, and we have other things to worry about. This isn't the right time."

"When is the right time?"

"Aang, I'm sorry, but right now, I'm just a little confused."

A small part of Zuko leapt at that. Confused. She was confused about her feelings for Aang. He wondered if any of that confusion was directed his way.

They didn't say anything for a time, but Zuko kept listening. He was tense, afraid that at any minute they'd hear him, or start walking towards him. But the silence was explained when Zuko heard the undeniable sound of lips pulling away.

Zuko closed his eyes and took what was supposed to be a calming breath. All it did was fuel the flames that threatened at his fingertips. He balled his hands into fists to quell the heat.

He heard Katara next. "I just said I was confused!" She didn't sound happy about the kiss. Aang seemed to have overstepped some kind of boundary. They paused awkwardly before Katara spoke again.

"I'm going inside."

Zuko quickly walked away and turned a corner, then came back around and jogged up to her, hoping she'd believe that he was just getting there now. "Katara? The play's about to start again."

If she didn't buy it, she didn't show it. She seemed a bit preoccupied and answered distractedly. "Okay, thanks. I'll tell Aang."

Zuko walked away, trying to put their conversation out of his mind. If he had to sit between the two of them for the rest of this forsaken play, he would have to get a hold of himself.

* * *

The Stage Fire Lord and Azula were talking about the final battle. The battle that no one in that box wanted to think about. Stage Zuko entered and told the Avatar to get the Fire Lord, that he would take care of Azula.

The fight was short and simple, but to Zuko it seemed to last forever. This is how it could go. This could really happen in a few short days. Finally, Azula captured Zuko in a burst of flame, and the actor shouted something about honor as he died.

Zuko's eyes widened and his mouth hung agape. He could feel every pair of eyes in their box trained on him. And as much as he wanted to blow it off with some comment about his "superior fire bending" or some such, he couldn't. _Because if I face Azula by myself, I am going to die. In less than a week, I'm as good as dead._

The rest of the play was a blur. It ended poorly for them, but that was no surprise. Even if they won, Zuko had a sneaking suspicion it was going to end badly for him anyways. He had to fight Azula. It had that ring of destiny to it. _And if I fight Azula, I am going to die._

They walked back to the house in a bit of shock. No one really felt like staying up to talk. Sokka and Suki chatted some as they went off to their room, and Toph made herself a little tent like usual. Even Aang and Katara were distant, though no one but Zuko knew why.

Aang was the first into the house, and everyone heard the hard "thunk" of his door.

Sokka turned to Katara. "Play must have really gotten to him, huh?"

Katara turned to hide her embarrassed blush. "Yeah. Must have."

Zuko stood by the stairs, unable to clear his head of anything. He had too many thoughts and no one to discuss them with. "I'm going for a walk," he announced.

No one stopped him.

* * *

Zuko reached the beach and sat, his back against a cool rock. He leaned his head back and sighed. None of his thoughts were safe. The play kept repeating over and over again in his mind, different mistakes, same guilt. He betrayed his uncle. He joined Azula. He betrayed Katara's trust, so newly won.

Katara. That started a whole new thought process. He closed his eyes, his brows furrowing as he tried not to think about her. How she'd finally talked about her mother. How she'd cried. The gentle way she'd offered to try to heal his scar…he could still remember the feeling of her tentative fingers against his skin. His scar hadn't felt that warm since the day his father marked him.

He could still hear his uncle's voice in his head, telling him to look inside his heart and choose what he truly wanted. And for the briefest of moments, he'd thought of a sweet, lovely girl with too-blue eyes, offering to heal his scar. A girl he barely knew who looked back as she left the cave, almost seeming to care if he was going to be alright. Then, the thought disgusted him. Now it just brought on more guilt. Not being honest with himself was what pushed him to Azula in the first place. But he was in no position to be honest. Katara was right when she told Aang this wasn't the time for romantic feelings. But somehow, the threat of his own death seemed to push him towards her anyways. She was the center of the group. Forever calm and collected, and mature beyond her years. She made them all feel safe. Zuko looked at Katara and saw a place he could sit down and catch his breath. He'd never had that kind of security before, not since his mother left.

Zuko stood and watched the waves. It was surprisingly calming. For elements that were supposed to be opposite, the tides didn't seem so different from fire. He made a small flame in his hand to keep warm and watched it, then held it up in front of him to examine both elements. Just like the water, his fire could ebb and flow. It could surround. It could engulf.

He heard a stirring behind him and extinguished the flame, not wanting to accidentally burn someone again. But though his flame was gone, his body was tense. If it wasn't a member of their group, his body was wound tight, coiled up and ready to strike.

The person was in shadows, but seemed to see his stance. He could almost hear her eyes rolling as she spoke. "Relax. It's me."

 _That's the problem._ Zuko's body relaxed, but his heart stayed at its frenzied pace. He was not in enough control of himself to be seeing her right now.

She had some wood in her arms. Zuko looked at her in question. She shrugged her shoulders. "I couldn't sleep. I thought you could use the company."

Zuko allowed himself a small smile as she set up a campfire, lighting it himself, coaxing the logs to smolder and burn. Katara watched his flames, a bit mesmerized. It was amazing to think she once saw him as an enemy. Now he was her friend, no matter what that stupid play seemed to say.

They were quiet, but comfortable. Neither of them was uncomfortable in silence. Sokka and Aang were the rowdy ones, and when Toph got going with them, it was often noisy. But Katara and Zuko were content to sit back and laugh, to observe. Before Zuko joined them, it was just Katara, sitting back by herself and feeling like the mother of the group. It was nice to have someone on her level now. It made her feel less alone.

"I wanted to apologize for something."

Zuko's comment broke the silence, but Katara was confused. "For what?"

He took a deep breath and looked away, unable to maintain eye contact and make this apology. "Seeing the play tonight…it just got me thinking. I know you and I have found a way to coexist now, but I'm not sure I ever really apologized for what happened in Ba Sing Se. You were open and honest with me and I betrayed you. You even offered to heal my scar. I knew then that what I was doing was wrong, but I couldn't face it. And you paid the price for my mistakes. So I'm sorry, Katara. I'm so sorry, and I hope one day you can forgive me."

Katara was blindsided. She'd tried so hard not to remember that day, and here he was bringing it up. At first it was because she couldn't believe how stupid she'd been, offering to heal him before he went off with Azula. But when he joined the group, it became more complicated. She started to see traces of that boy from the cave more and more each day. The boy who'd lost his mother. The boy whose father had scarred him. That scar. It used to haunt her dreams, but its more recent appearances had been a different kind of scary.

Not that she dreamt about him. Or remembered how it felt when she touched his face.

Katara nodded and looked at Zuko. "Thank you. I accept your apology."

Zuko met her eyes with a small smile of thanks. She returned it, but when she tried to look away, she found she didn't want to. His golden eyes were beautiful in the firelight. She was fully aware she was staring too long, but she didn't care. Her gaze shifted to his scar, then she lowered her eyes to the ocean. "The offer still stands, you know."

"What offer?"

"If you want, I could try to heal your scar. I don't have any of the Spirit Water left, but I am a good healer, so if you wanted me to I could—"

"Alright. If you want to."

Katara smiled at him. "It's worth a try."

Zuko watched her walk to the water's edge and bend the salt out of the water. Her abilities fascinated him. She fascinated him. Even in her Fire Nation attire, there was something exotic about her. And for a Water Tribe girl, she had a fearsome temper. She cared fiercely for her friends. She fought even fiercer. She felt him staring and gave a quick smile. He didn't much care for how his heart leapt at that.

Besides, his scar had become such an integral part of him; he didn't know how he felt about the prospect of losing it. But it meant being close to Katara, and right or wrong that was all he wanted.

She knelt beside him with her hands covered in purified water. Her hands began to glow as she reached up towards his face. His eyes locked with hers, and something passed between them in that moment. Maybe it was just their proximity—the last time they'd been this close was when Zuko saved her from falling rock at the Western Air Temple. She'd been less than pleased with their closeness then. But now she didn't seem to mind so much. Her voice even sounded different, almost hushed. "Just…just close your eyes."

Zuko did so, and Katara turned to his scar. She delicately traced her fingers along the paths and ridges in his face, trying to calm and soothe the best she could. This healing felt different than the others she'd performed. She usually worked on very recent injuries, where the blood and tissue was newly damaged. This felt less like a simple stitching together of flesh. His scar felt immovable, and any attempt to heal it reminded her of running her fingers over her necklace. She could feel the little catches when her skin caught the engraved pattern in the stone, but it didn't move or change. She opened her eyes to look at the scar, but saw no progress.

Zuko seemed to sense that nothing was happening, so he touched her arm and told her to stop. She pulled away and he opened his eyes. "It's alright, Katara. It's a part of me now. It's not going anywhere."

That gave her an idea. She was trying to stitch something together that was already whole. That wasn't the part that needed healing. Maybe it just needed some rejuvenation. "Wait…let me try again."

"You really don't have to, Katara, it's fine—"

"Can you feel anything on your scar? Or does it feel blank?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like, if I touch it," she moved the water into one of her hands and lifted the other to his cheek, smoothing her thumb across his scar as she spoke, "Did you feel that?"

A faint heat passed over his cheek, but he couldn't trace it. "It's faint, but yes. I felt it."

She smiled excitedly. "Then you have to let me try again, I have an idea."

He sighed and closed his eyes, expecting nothing. This time, she spoke as she worked on his scar. "Before I was trying to fix just the surface, but there's so much more going on beneath it. I may not be able to take away the scar, but I could bring some feeling back to you."

She worked for a few moments more then pulled away. She sent the water back to the ocean as Zuko looked at her quizzically. "Did it work?"

"I don't know, I think so. Here," she repeated the motion from before, slowly running her thumb across his face, the rest of her hand cradling his head. "Did you feel that?"

 _Did I ever_. "Katara…that's amazing. I felt it!"

Katara beamed at him, her curiosity taking over. "Is it the same as your other cheek now?" She mimicked the pose of her other hand on the unscarred side of his face. She held his face in her hands, and she could feel the heat radiating off his body. It was making her warmer than she'd thought it would. She repeated the brushing movement, this time with both her thumbs. "Tell me how it feels, do you have the same amount of feeling in both?"

Zuko watched her as she brushed her thumbs across his face. His breath hitched in the back of his throat as he tried to speak. "It…ah, it feels different. But definitely more than before."

She could feel his gaze, hot on her skin. It was a mistake to meet it. It kindled a fire deep within her that she'd been trying so hard to suppress. Because it wasn't right. It wasn't the right time. They were in the middle of a war. But the same excuses she'd given Aang didn't seem so real anymore. The face between her hands was warm and kind. He cared for her.

The realization caught her off guard. She had to get out of there. She broke their staring match and tried to pull away, but Zuko shot his arm out to cover her hand with his. Katara almost felt tears in her eyes as his fingers twined with hers; the force of her emotions was too strong. He seemed to be moving closer. He was moving closer. She felt her eyes start to close as he rested his forehead against hers.

Zuko took a shaky breath, but it smelled so strongly of her that it did nothing to calm him. His voice was deep and gravelly; she felt it reverberate deep in her chest. "Katara…I want to ask you something."

Her voice was equally as husky. She didn't recognize this voice as her own. "Alright."

"Can I kiss you?"

Her heart was thundering in her ears. He felt her hands tense at the nape of his neck as she spoke. She sounded unsure of her own words. "I don't know if you should…it's not a good idea."

He brought his other hand up to cup her cheek. "I didn't ask if I should, Katara."

Damn him and the way he said her name…it was like no one else had ever said it before. He pulled away to look at her as he continued speaking. "If I kissed you, would you let me?"

A single tear ran down her cheek. He brushed it away. She opened her eyes and saw her own torment reflected in his of golden fire. She nodded tentatively and murmured her soft reply. "Yes."

No sooner had she spoken the word were Zuko's lips upon hers. He wasted no time. This was not the chaste peck that Aang gave her. This wasn't even like before the invasion. It was a kiss as full of uncertain passion as she was. She longed to kiss him back, to do more than just sit there and let him kiss, but she was frozen. Immobilized. Zuko's hand snaked behind her head and into her hair, holding her firmly against him. He struggled to stop himself, but that was all he had asked for. Just a kiss. As he pulled away, he felt a slight tug on his hair. He looked at Katara and saw the effect the kiss had had on her.

Her eyes were still closed as she spoke. "Don't stop, Zuko."

"Katara, are you—"

She didn't let him finish the sentence. She tangled her hands in his shaggy black hair and kissed him with all that she had. She did so much for other people, constantly making the food, setting up camp, healing their wounds. She wanted something that was hers, damn it. And right now, nothing mattered but Zuko.

Zuko opened his mouth to hers, gently guiding her as they went. She was passionate, but inexperienced. When he touched her tongue with his, she started and tried to pull away, but Zuko's hand at the back of her head halted her retreat. "Trust me," he whispered against her lips, kissing her once more.

This time she didn't pull away. This time she was taking his instruction to heart. Zuko groaned as her tentative tongue brushed against his, delving into his mouth. He moved his hands to the small of her back as he guided her to sit. Once she understood what he was doing, she took the initiative and clambered into his lap, her arms locking behind his head as she deepened the kiss.

 _Katara…_ Feeling her warm body on top of his was almost more than Zuko could take. Almost. He broke their kiss to press his lips to her cheek, then the curve of her face, then the spot just below her ear, and further down her neck he went until Katara was nearly panting on top of him. "Spirits, Zuko…" He found a sensitive spot where her neck connected with her shoulders and grazed it with his teeth, appreciating the way it made her slowly grind against him.

He made his way back to her lips for a quick kiss before he explored the other side of her neck, his hands tracing light patterns on her exposed midriff. She felt like a hot spring; she wasn't surprised to see the edges of the ocean steaming. It seemed the ocean was suffering as much as she from Zuko's careful study of her body. He grazed her with his teeth again; she noticed that as she whimpered, the heat from the fire behind her flared. She took pride in knowing that she was not the only one affected here.

When Zuko found his way to her lips again, she wasted no time. She tasted him deeply, the fire at her back roaring in encouragement. Zuko desperately wanted to go further, but he knew not to press his luck. All he knew was Katara was as hopelessly lost as he was, and for better or worse, things would never be the same.

Zuko made to trace his path down her neck again, but Katara caught his head in her hands and pressed her forehead against his. Her lips were red from their kissing and she was nearly out of breath. "Zuko. We should stop."

"I can't." He caught her lips with his again, cupping the side of her face to deepen it. They spoke between kisses.

"Really, we have to…stop…someone could…see us…"

"I know you're right…but I just can't stop myself…" He pulled away and took a long, heartfelt look at her. "I could be dead in a week, Katara. I'm not putting anything off anymore."

His kiss was so full of pain that she couldn't deny him. She kissed him once more, running her hand through his hair to calm him. Eventually they stopped, their heads so close that their breaths mingled in the air.

"We can't live like we're dying, Zuko. We have to believe that we'll make it."

"You might. I don't see any way that this ends with me alive."

Katara tilted his chin up, forcing him to look her in the eyes. "Zuko, I'm not sure of much right now. But I know you're going to make it."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because if there's one thing I know about you, it's that you're frustratingly hard to get rid of."

Zuko breathed a laugh. She smoothed her fingers along his scar, knowing how keenly he'd feel it now. "To be honest with you, I don't know what I'm doing. There's too much up in the air right now for me to…be doing this."

"You're confused. I get it."

Katara started to agree, but his choice of words stopped her. In that moment, he knew that she knew. She moved to climb off him and he let her go. She stood on the opposite side of the fire, trying to get some distance from him. He brought up his knees and rested his arms to prop up his head.

"You heard us? On the balcony?"

"Yes."

"Is that why you asked to kiss me?"

"Yes. No. I mean, Katara, I don't know what it is, but when I heard you and Aang talking…I didn't know what to do. So I came out here to try and clear my head, and then you were here and all I wanted was to…I don't know, Katara. You're not the only one who's confused about all this."

"Do you have feelings for me?"

Zuko pinned her with a heated stare. That was the only answer she was to receive, it seemed.

Even though he was seated, she felt inferior under his gaze. She fell back to her old excuses. "Well if you heard what I said to Aang, you know that there isn't time for this. We're at war, there's no way I can think about this right now—"

Zuko stood at that. "Katara, I'm not asking anything of you. I just want you to answer something for me."

"What?"

"You told Aang you were confused. Are you confused because of me?"

Katara was silent, arms crossed in front of her. "Don't make me answer that."

"I deserve to know."

No response. Zuko bent the fire from the wood and sent it out to the ocean. He crossed the ashes that stood between them, standing in her personal space. "Katara."

"If I say yes, what will you do?"

"I don't know."

"And if I say no?"

"I won't believe you."

Katara almost laughed at that. The boy from the cave was gone. In front of her stood a Fire Lord.

Zuko stepped closer and tilted her chin up towards him. "I'm not very good at these things, but if you really think we're gonna win this war, you need to figure out what you feel for me. Because if I make it out of this, I'll want an answer." He pressed a tender kiss to her lips, and at the moment he felt her respond, he pulled away.

Katara watched him leave, exhaling a breath she didn't know she'd been holding. She brought her fingers to her lips and let them linger there, remembering his kiss.

She thought that in a few days everything would be decided, one way or another. Now she knew the truth. In a few days, all her decisions would begin.


	2. Sozin's Comet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Setting: The White Lotus Camp in the Earth Kingdom

They were all gathered in a circle, sitting together and sharing a meal. Zuko felt deep gratitude when he looked at his uncle. A wave of relief every time he realized he wasn't completely without family anymore. Which made asking for his help even harder. He knew exactly how difficult his plan would be to complete. But he couldn't do it without his uncle, not with Aang still missing, the one great unknown.

Iroh had listened patiently, but Zuko had the feeling he wasn't convinced. "Uncle, you're the only person other than the Avatar who can possibly defeat the Fatherlord."

Toph looked up from her meal to correct him. "You mean the Fire Lord."

Zuko masked his embarrassment with frustration. "That's what I just said!"

"Hmm…" Iroh considered his nephew's plan, weighing the advantages and disadvantages equally.

Zuko was desperate. "We need you to come with us!"

"No, Zuko. It won't turn out well."

Zuko couldn't believe his ears. "You can beat him, and we'll be there to help."

Iroh shook his head, trying to get his nephew to understand. "Even if I did defeat Ozai, and I don't know that I could, it would be the wrong way to end the war. History would see it as just more senseless violence, a brother killing a brother to grab power. The only way for this war to end peacefully is for the Avatar to defeat the Fire Lord."

"And then…then would you come and take your rightful place on the throne?"

His tone was so pitiful, Iroh almost considered it. But this was Zuko's responsibility now. "No…someone new must take the throne. An idealist with a pure heart and unquestionable honor. It has to be you, Prince Zuko."

Zuko was astonished, and more than a little confused. "Unquestionable honor? But I've made so many mistakes."

"Yes, you have. You've struggled. You've suffered. But you have always followed your own path. You've restored your own honor. And only you can restore the honor of the Fire Nation."

It was a tall order. Everyone sitting in that circle knew it. But Zuko had known all his life that one day he would have to take the throne. Now it was time to face his destiny. "I'll try, Uncle."

Katara couldn't imagine the weight on Zuko's shoulders. Aang might have to defeat the Fire Lord, but Zuko would have to rule a nation that hated him for the rest of his life. It took real courage to admit how many mistakes he'd made, and he took it in stride. What if he couldn't get them to see reason? How would he rule a nation that saw him as a traitor? And yet he sat there and accepted his responsibility to his people. He didn't run. He came to terms with his fate and didn't shun responsibility. He was acting like a Fire Lord already.

Toph posed the next question to Iroh, the question no one wanted to think about. "Well, what if Aang doesn't come back?"

"Sozin's comet is arriving, and our destinies are upon us. Aang will face the Fire Lord." Iroh paused, preparing to share a story from his youth with these brave young warriors. "When I was a boy, I had a vision that I would one day take Ba Sing Se. Only now do I see that my destiny is to take it back from the Fire Nation, so the Earth Kingdom can be free again."

Understanding dawned on Suki. "That's why you gathered the members of the White Lotus."

"Yes," Iroh turned to his nephew. "Zuko, you must return to the Fire Nation so that when the Fire Lord falls, you can assume the throne and restore peace and order." His tone shifted, warning evident in his voice. "But Azula will be there, waiting for you."

Zuko tensed, but tried to keep a calm exterior. "I can handle Azula."

Iroh shook his head. This was not the time for pride. "Not alone. You need help." Zuko nodded in agreement.

"You're right," he turned to glance across the circle, knowing exactly who he should bring. The question was, would she come? She was the strongest Water Bender he'd ever seen. He'd need that strength to quell Azula's fire. "Katara, how would you like to help me put Azula in her place?"

Zuko was a bit worried that she might think his request strange. They hadn't been alone just the two of them since that night on Ember Island. They'd found a comfortable enough pattern in the past few days. He was afraid to mess it up, but he needed her on this.

"It would be my pleasure."

Her determined smile told him nothing had changed. She would gladly fight by his side. The thought comforted him more than it should have.

Sokka piped up, not wanting to be forgotten. "What about us? What's our destiny today?"

Iroh turned the question on him, eager to hear what he had to say. "What do you think it is?"

Sokka thought a moment, formulating a plan as he spoke. "I think that even though we don't know where Aang is, we need to do everything we can to stop the airship fleet."

"And that means when Aang does face the Fire Lord, we'll be right there if he needs us," Toph agreed.

Iroh smiled, glad to have helped them discover this on their own. They were going to be fine. He just had that feeling.

Katara watched as Toph, Suki, and Sokka climbed up on the eelhound, saying their goodbyes and double-checking their packs. Katara sat on Appa with a small sense of foreboding. She was nervous for Aang, nervous for Sokka and Suki, nervous for herself. She was less worried about Toph, she admitted with a laugh. But as she watched Zuko swing up onto Appa, she realized where the bulk of her nervousness laid. It was bound up in the boy in front of her who was riding out to save his people. The young man who was willing to kill his sister, to let Aang kill his father and make himself an orphan, all for the greater good. She was proud of him. Proud of him in a way that made him feel like…hers.

She shook the thought from her head. This is why she didn't want to get attached. There was too much at stake to be thinking this way.

Zuko turned to his uncle, starting their farewells. "So, if I'm gonna be Fire Lord after the war is over, what are you going to do?

Iroh smiled wide with genuine joy. "After I reconquer Ba Sing Se, I'm going to reconquer my teashop. And I'm going to play Pai Sho every day."

Zuko smiled. Katara looked over at Sokka, then back to Zuko. They could do this. They had to do this. She smiled a tentative smile back at the General. "Goodbye, General Iroh."

"Goodbye, everyone. Today, destiny is our friend. I know it."

* * *

They'd been flying in silence for a few hours now. Katara sat back on Appa's saddle as Zuko took the reins, guiding the bison to their destination. He seemed tense. Worried, probably, though Katara selfishly wondered if her proximity had something to do with it.

She wanted to make him feel better, reassure him in some way. She moved closer to him on the saddle.

"Zuko, don't worry. We can take Azula."

He didn't take his focus off the sky, but she watched his neck tense. "I'm not worried about her. I'm worried about Aang. What if he doesn't have the guts to take out my father? What if he loses?"

She'd been thinking the same thing the whole trip. Last they'd seen him, Aang didn't seem like he'd be able to do it. But there was no other way to end this. It had to be done, and it had to be Aang. She just hoped he'd realize that in time. She hoped he was strong enough to win the fight. Avatar or not, he was still just a 13 year old kid versus one fearsome firebender. The odds weren't in his favor. "Aang won't lose. He's gonna come back." She felt a pang of worry for her friend, silently wishing him luck. "He has to."

Her shift in tone didn't go unnoticed by Zuko. She was truly worried for the young Avatar. It was obvious. He kept his eyes trained on the skies. "You really care about him."

Katara shifted uncomfortably. "I care about all of my friends."

"That's not what I mean." Katara was silent, cursing her big mouth. The last thing she wanted to do was pull their focus from the task at hand. There could be no distractions. And thinking about that night, how he'd held her close and kissed her so deeply…it was a distraction.

"It makes sense, you know. You and Aang."

His reaction surprised her. "Does it?"

"Sure. He looks up to you. You taught him his first element after Air, you make him think things through, you take care of him. You take care of all of us. Makes a person feel secure. Safe."

Katara wondered if he was still talking about Aang at all, but said nothing. She longed to reach out and comfort Zuko, but anything she did would just make things more difficult. The best thing she could do was help him defeat Azula, put this whole war to rest. There would be time for this after they'd won.

Zuko started to recognize the landscape below them. "We're close. Should only be a few minutes now."

"Zuko…do you really think you'll have to kill Azula?"

Zuko finally met her eyes. "There's no other option. She'll never stop fighting me while she's alive."

"There could be another—"

"There's no other way, Katara." He looked back ahead, pulling tight on Appa's reins to begin their descent. "I've made peace with that. Maybe you should, too."

* * *

They had to circle the palace a couple times to find somewhere for Appa to land. They arrived in the nick of time. Katara could overhear the Fire Priests ending the ceremony as Appa raced to the palace.

"By decree of Phoenix King Ozai, I now crown you Fire Lord—" The priest stopped as Appa hurried into view.

Azula's frustrated voice echoed through the halls. "What are you waiting for? Do it!"

Zuko stood as Appa slowed to a stop, his voice strong and commanding. "Sorry, but you're not going to become Fire Lord today." He jumped to the ground, standing as only royalty could. "I am."

Azula's laugh was a belittling cackle. "You're hilarious."

Katara stepped up beside Zuko. "And you're going down."

The Fire Priest continued to lower the golden flame onto Azula's head, but she held up a hand to halt him. "Wait. You want to be Fire Lord? Fine." She started down the stairs, daring him forward with every word. "Let's settle this. Just you and me, brother. The showdown that was always meant to be. Agni Kai."

Zuko's eyes narrowed. "You're on."

Azula smirked in a way Katara didn't care for. It bothered her deeply. She rounded on Zuko. "What are you doing? She's playing you. She knows she can't take us both so she's trying to separate us!"

"I know. But I can take her this time."

"But even you admitted to your uncle that you would need help facing Azula—"

Zuko shook his head. "There's something off about her. I can't explain it, but she's slipping." He glanced to Katara, trying to finish his sentence and sound as off-hand as possible. "And this way, no one else has to get hurt."

Katara had mixed feelings about his protectiveness. _This wasn't the plan, Zuko. You have nothing to prove to me or Azula or anyone. Let me help you._ Her eyes pleaded with him, but he turned to kneel at the end of the courtyard. This was his fight. He had to try to fight it his way. _And if you need me, I'll be here._

Azula staggered up from her kneeling position. She cast her cape off haphazardly, "I'm sorry it has to end this way, brother."

"No you're not."

Katara watched with bated breath as they took their stances. She started scanning for water, but found none. This might really all come down to Zuko.

They shot at the same time, creating more fire than Katara had ever seen. She'd never witnessed Zuko with power like this. The comet was clearly having an effect on them; Katara wondered what Aang was facing with Ozai, worried he could harness even more of the comet's energy.

Watching them fight was both terrifying and exhilarating. Azula fought with vengeance, Zuko fought with purpose. He was an artist of flame, working the element to his every whim. It was fluid, purposeful fire. He knocked Azula more than once, but it only seemed to make her stronger. He kicked back on his arms, his legs flying in a flurry of movement, launching a wall of flame at Azula. It knocked her off her attack, sending her reeling.

He taunted her in a moment of confidence, trying to get her to make a mistake. If he could find a hole in her defenses, this would all be over. _And Katara won't have to be involved._

"No lightning today? What's the matter? Afraid I'll redirect it?

His taunt had the desired effect. For a moment. "Oh, I'll show you lightning."

He saw it all in slow motion, the weight of his mistake landing heavy on his chest. He knew Azula. He knew how crazy she was on a normal day. And maybe on a normal day the thought would've ended with a threatening glare. But he could see the frayed ends of her control in the crackle of her lightning. She was going to do it. Agni, she was really going to do it.

He shot a terrified glance at Katara as Azula lunged forward, quickly calculating the distance between her and the lightning. He saw a brief widening of her eyes, those too-blue eyes that he'd never forget. She knew was he was about to do. She started to run to stop it, trying to bend water that wasn't there, anything to stop him. She was a Master Waterbender, she should be able to save herself—

Zuko jumped, bellowing as if his voice could save her. "NO!"

The lightning hit with inconceivable force. He struggled to hold it in, to contain it all in his body and not send any awry. He fell with a thud, the hard contact reverberating through his limbs. They moved without resistance, completely out of his control. The lightning streaked the sky, successfully redirected, but his body settled on the ground. He wasn't moving.

"ZUKO!"

The last thing he heard was her screaming his name. It was a good way to die.

* * *

_No. No no no no no._ Katara ran at Zuko, unable to hear anything but her own haggard breathing. She barely made it halfway to his body before Azula's attacks turned her around. The blaze of lightning sent her running for cover, her instincts kicking in as she glanced a fountain in the distance. She took one last look at Zuko's body. It would not end like this. She could still save him.

The only way to Zuko was through Azula. _I'll cut through her with my bare hands if I have to. She will not win this fight._

The effect of the comet was strong, and it fueled Azula's insanity. They traded blows as Katara found the few sources of water she could, bending whatever possible and shooting it at her enemy. She fell to a grate; her knees connecting with the hard metal made her shout. But there was a faint whisper coming from underground. A small gift that lay in wait for her to find. Glancing at some chain on the wall, she knew her course.

Luring Azula forward with an intentional miss, she summoned all of her skill and strength to raise an instant sheet of ice. Azula was caught, eyes darting for an exit, but the only thing she saw was a sigh. Katara's warm breath let her flow through the ice, delicately looping the chain around Azula's wrists, as if she were no more than a common criminal. With the last of her breath, she shattered the ice into a shower of water, coughing and sputtering on her knees. She stood and finished her work on the chains, ensuring that Azula could not break free of the bonds.

Most people would take a moment to admire their handiwork, but Katara took no such luxuries. She raced to where Zuko lay, calling water from over her shoulder to coat her hands. He twitched on the ground, and when he turned with a groan, her heart gave a joyful shout. _Thank the Spirits. He's alive._

Katara turned his body over in her arms, her eyes zeroing in on the star-shaped burn still smoldering on his chest. With the quickness of practice she pushed her emotions aside, focusing on the task at hand. She placed her hands over his wound and began to heal, poking and prodding the tissue to stretch across the mark, to rejoin the skin on the other side. She kept her eyes slammed shut as she healed, pouring all of her focus and energy into the careful knitting of nerves, the twist of skin forming a thin scab. She was nearing the end of her abilities when she heard it, the smallest groan that let her know he was going to be alright.

His breathing was shallow, but consistent. His eyes met hers with thanks, his voice a rattled whisper. "Thank you, Katara."

She looked at him with tearful gratitude. "I think I'm the one who should be thanking you." He reached out his arm and she helped him to his feet, pleased to see that he had the strength to stand on his own.

Azula's screams caused them to turn. They watched her writhe on the ground, chained like an animal. Zuko had been prepared to kill his own sister, but to see her like this…Katara couldn't imagine it. What if she were in his shoes, faced with the task of taking down Sokka, watching Sokka sob and scream in pain and anguish…

She turned her attention to Zuko, watching his sadness as he watched Azula cry. Whatever else she was, she was still familiy. He lowered his eyes in sadness. _But it's over. The important thing is that it's over._

He tried to turn to Katara, to thank her again for her healing, but the effort took more energy than he expected. Katara watched him stagger, catching him in her arms as he swayed into her. "Zuko?"

His voice was weak and fading. "It's fine. I'm fine. I'm…"

He grew heavier in her arms, sinking quickly onto his knees. Katara yelled for help, glad to see the servants responding to Zuko's needs. If…when he survived this, the servants would follow him.

She spoke more for her benefit than his, knowing he was fading fast. "Hold on, Zuko. You're gonna be fine, just hold on."

"It's fine…it's fine…you're okay…" his mantra faded with the last of his strength until he was limp against her.

Katara ordered the servants around like they were her own. "Take Zuko to his chambers and bring me the purest water you have. Immediately."

She would not lose him like this. She refused.

* * *

The first thing Zuko saw was a bright light, a single burning flame in the center of his vision. His eyes cleared as he blinked, finally recognizing it as one of the torches in his bedroom. He was in his bedroom? The last he remembered he was outside with…

"Katara?"

He felt the bed shift as Katara moved into his view, a relieved smile on her face. "Zuko, you're awake."

He rubbed his forehead, feeling better by the second. "What happened? How long was I out?"

"A couple hours at most. It's about four hours 'til dawn."

He breathed a sigh of relief, afraid it had been much longer. "Good. And Azula?"

"I had them put her in one of the cells until you decide what to do with her."

He nodded in agreement, adjusting himself to sit up against the pillows. Katara's eyes shifted from his face to where his robe opened, revealing a small part of his burn. "Do you mind? I just want to check it again, make sure it's still healing properly."

"Okay." Katara shifted closer to Zuko, pulling apart the sides of his robe to reveal the whole wound. Zuko shivered at her touch, but it wasn't from pain. Truth be told, he was amazed at how good he already felt. Her fingers prodded, but he only felt a twinge of soreness. There seemed to be a good scab over it, and the mark was smaller than he remembered it being. Katara's brows furrowed as she inspected him. "You might have a scar."

Zuko breathed a laugh. "Won't be my first one." He was glad to see Katara's lips quirk into a smile. She looked far too serious. "Have you been here long?"

Katara kept inspecting his chest. "I never left. I've been healing you on and off since they brought you here."

"Thank you."

She nodded, continuing to inspect him. "I could try to heal it a bit more, it might reduce the size of the scar," she reached to bend some water from the large basin at the foot of the bed, but Zuko caught her hand in his.

"It's fine, Katara. Thank you."

She couldn't meet his eyes. Instead she stared at their joined hands, how his thumb caressed the inside of her palm. It made her shiver. "Thank you. If you hadn't done what you did, I would be…I mean I'd probably be—"

"Come here." Zuko didn't much want to think about that. He pulled her closer, pleased when she didn't fight his embrace. She curled against his chest, head nestled against his shoulder. Her arms wrapped around his back just as tightly, almost quaking with the strain. They'd done the unthinkable. They both made it out alive. And they did it together. Katara pulled away slightly, looking up into his face. What she saw moved something deep within her.

Zuko's eyes were shut, but she watched as the smallest tear slipped from his eye, making his unscarred cheek shine in the firelight. She reached up to brush it away, unsure what it meant, but also unsure of what else to do. Zuko's eyes flashed open at her tender touch, somewhat embarrassed that she was seeing him cry. She smiled kindly, seeming to say that she thought no less of him. He tried to hold their distance, the small space between them that was the difference between friendly support and a lover's embrace, but her eyes were shining. He'd seen that look before.

Katara gave into her desire, closing the distance between them with a hard kiss. She sighed as her mouth met his, so happy he was alive, so happy he was there. So happy, for a moment, to feel like this.

Zuko opened his mouth to her questing tongue, pulling her more firmly against him as she deepened the kiss. He tangled his hands in her hair, her beautiful hair that was usually out of his reach. Now it hung free, surrounding them like a curtain, making a small personal world for just the two of them. His body was on fire; he'd never felt so alive. So wanted. So needed.

His hand found the slit in the top of her dress, that silly blue dress that covered far too much of her body. Zuko knew she would stop him eventually, but until then he intended to drink his fill. So he was pleasantly surprised to find her pulling at his robe, shrugging her dress off her shoulders as she exposed more of his chest to her burning caresses.

Katara was lost to sensation, unable to think of anything but the deep hunger that rose within her. She pulled away from Zuko's kiss, examining his naked torso appreciatively. She freed her arms from the top of her dress and let it fall in a pool around her belt. She felt a sharp heat between her breasts and stared down—Zuko had carefully sliced through her bindings, the singed linen peeling away from her in strips. She met his eyes and saw the same hunger she felt burning in his golden stare. He seemed to be waiting for her to say something, to tell him to stop, but Katara didn't say a word. She kept waiting to feel exposed or nervous, but the feelings never came.

His hands traced a soft pattern down her spine, setting her skin aflame. Zuko exhaled harshly as he moved his hands up over her shoulders, trailing down to her naked chest. She bit back a moan as Zuko filled his hands with her breasts, running his fingers over her sensitive peaks. Her breathing grew ragged as he cupped her, tweaking her nipples as he met her mouth for another kiss.

Katara felt her hips rolling as he worked her breasts, and his groans of pleasure told her he liked it. Experimentally, she ground against him, harder than before. She liked the feeling of his satisfied groan against her lips. Zuko began to kiss down her neck, further down than he, or anyone, ever had before. Katara felt as though every kiss branded her; she almost bucked against him as the warmth of his mouth covered her nipple. Instinctively her hands slid through his hair, holding his head against her breast as his tongue swirled and teased. He moved to her other breast as she rolled her hips; she was pleased to find he was joining her rhythm, grinding against her in a way that made her see spots.

Zuko was drunk on the taste of her. Somewhere he thought that he should stop, that this was the time he should ask her if she was sure, but stopping was an impossible feat he couldn't comprehend. Not when she was opening to him like a firelily, trusting and willing and _sensual as all hell._ Unable to stand her teasing grinds any longer, he held her tight and flipped their positions, his hands finding purchase on the mattress on either side of her head, thoroughly lost in the wonder of kissing her. He swallowed her moans greedily, pleasure his only thought.

Katara felt the cool sheet on her bare back as a shock, and with it came the smallest bit of clarity. She wanted this, spirits how she wanted this, but it wasn't right. Not now. Not yet. They needed to talk before things went any further. She caught his lips with hers for another kiss and slowly calmed things down, turning their fevered embrace into a slow caress, an achingly sweet meeting of mouths that marked them both in ways they didn't fully understand. She pulled away slowly, brushing the hair out of his eyes. She took a deep breath and spoke. "Zuko, what are we doing?"

He shrugged, honestly unsure. "I don't know. It just felt…right," he glanced at her, watching her face for signs of discomfort. "Was I wrong?"

"No, you weren't. That was…I don't even know how to describe it." Zuko took this as confirmation, pressing kisses down her neck and along her collarbone. It made it nearly impossible to think, let alone speak, but somehow Katara managed. "But…we have to think about this. There's decisions we haven't made and things we haven't said," she pulled his head to hers, forcing him to look at her. "Zuko, I've never done this before."

"I didn't think you had."

"Have you?"

Agni, he wanted to lie to her. But lies didn't build trust. He knew from experience. He nodded. "With Mai."

"Oh." She looked as though she'd expected it, but he caught traces of pain in her features. Zuko rested his forehead against hers, relishing the feeling of her naked chest pressed against his. He dropped a short kiss on her lips and drew a ragged breath before he pushed himself into a seated position, helping her pull her dress up her shoulders.

It was his kindness that struck her. It had been hard enough for her to stop without knowing what they were headed towards. She could only imagine the agony Zuko was in, the self-control it took to have a rational conversation with her. He spoke first. "Katara, I told you that if we made it out of this I'd want an answer to my question. So you have to tell me something, and tell me honestly. Do you have feelings for me?"

This isn't where she'd wanted to start. She wanted to say how brave she thought he was. What courage it had taken to face Azula. How she'd never been so scared as when she'd seen him twitching on the ground, his body full of lightning. Anything that might soften what she knew she was about to do.

Zuko repeated his question, worried that it was taking her so long to answer. "Do you have feelings for me, Katara?"

She took his hand and pressed it against her face, kissing the inside of his palm, but not meeting his gaze. "You know that I do."

Even with the feeling of foreboding pooling in his chest, he was glad to hear her say it. "But you're not staying here with me."

She was silent. He filled in the blanks. "Because you have feelings for Aang, too."

Her eyes instantly filled with tears. He blinked to keep them out of his. He took his hand from her face and swallowed against a dry throat; his voice was scratchy. "Why?"

"I don't know, Zuko. Part of me feels that this is right and wants to stop talking and finish what we started, but I know there's a part of me that has feelings for Aang, too." She paused, finally looking at Zuko. His head was turned from her, his gaze fixated on the patterned bedspread. She kept talking. "And you have Mai to think about too, don't you?" He sighed. She wasn't wrong. He hated it.

Katara's voice was soft, but strong. "I don't want the fact that I healed you to make you feel indebted to me or anything—"

"Is that what you think this is? That I don't have feelings for you, too?"

"Well, do you?"

Zuko felt offended until he realized he hadn't ever said it. It was a terrifying thing to admit, but it was important. It might make her stay. It might make the rest of this make sense. "Yes," he murmured.

Katara had to focus to not be caught up in emotion at his answer. She was proving a point, not looking for a reason to kiss him senseless. She turned his face to hers, looking deep into his eyes as she spoke. "But is it enough to break Mai's heart?" When he didn't respond, Katara inferred her answer. She let her hand fall from his face.

"Believe me, I understand. Yes, I have feelings for you, Zuko. But there's a lingering part of me that feels like I should be with Aang. And if I don't give him a chance, I know I'll always regret it. So I'm sorry, but I think I should go because otherwise, we'll do something that we'll both—"

Zuko's lips crashed against hers, stopping her speech. He couldn't let her say it. Part of him knew she was right, but he couldn't bear to hear her say it aloud. He felt her respond and continued the kiss, his tongue brushing hers as if saying farewell. She felt herself meeting his lips and didn't care, taking all she could from these last moments together. Zuko broke the kiss, but instead of stopping like she expected, he kissed down her body, making a heated trail across her breasts, then down her stomach…

"Zuko, what are you doing?"

"Giving you something to regret."

His hot mouth covered her navel, his tongue dipping inside before delving lower. Katara wasn't sure what he was doing, but she knew it was wrong to let him continue after all they'd just said. She was about to stop him when she felt his hand pulling at her undergarments, and before she could speak she felt his tongue hot against her center. Any thoughts of stopping him flew from her mind.

Katara knew full well she shouldn't let him do this, that she should make him stop and slam the door behind her, but she found herself grinding against his tongue, tangling a hand in his hair, gasping aloud when he reached up to tweak her nipple. Tears streamed from her eyes as he worked her body to frustration. She groaned in defeat. _Let me have this…if I have to leave him, just please let me have this._

Zuko's eyes rolled back as he tasted her; she was sweet on his tongue, and he drove her to distraction. He felt her surrender, felt the quiver in her legs as he circled her nub, the tension in her body that threatened to snap at any moment. He looped his arms around her legs, pinning her to the bed, but she was still teetering on the edge. Her inexperience was holding her back. He rubbed her with his hand as he placed a quick kiss on her inner thigh. "Relax. Just let it happen."

 _Relax?_ How was that possible when the fire he was stoking threatened to consume her? She felt him latch onto her, then a sharp pulling sensation, then the undeniable nick of his teeth. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, focusing only on the hardened nub Zuko's tongue was strafing. It was her undoing. She felt herself convulse and shake, but he didn't let go. She felt like a wave, crashing against the water only to rise up again and shatter on the shore. She whimpered as she came, hard against his mouth as Zuko eased her through her orgasm. He slowly kissed back up her body as she lay there, occasionally twitching with aftershocks. He stared down at her as her chest heaved for air with a kind of hopeful confidence, self-satisfied in nature. What had started as earnest begging ended with a victory smirk. _You're not going anywhere. Not now._

He kissed her deeply, tangling their legs together as he rolled her on top of him. She could taste herself on his lips, and it overwhelmed her senses. It was too much. Too intimate. She'd let things get way out of control, let him think she was staying. It wasn't fair to him. She had to get out of there.

She pushed away from him, promptly rolling off his body, her legs hanging off the side of the bed. "You shouldn't have done that."

"I didn't hear any objections."

She couldn't take his haughty tone, not now. The stain of embarrassment colored her cheeks. "I don't imagine you did, but that doesn't change the fact that—"

"That what? I made you feel instead of think for a moment? Feel instead of worrying about everyone else and what they want? Agni, Katara. You want me. We both know you do. So stay. Stay with me."

Katara shook her head, barely holding back the sobs that would have told him he was right. She shoved off the bed, embarrassed to see how weak her knees still were. He reached to help her but she pushed his hands aside, stumbling away from him. She took a deep breath and turned to face him, saw him bare-chested and struggling to get out of bed to follow her. She couldn't let him.

She gestured to his burn and reached for the door handle. "I'll send someone in to bind that for you."

His voice was desperate and confused. "Katara!"

She shut the door firmly behind her. She was gone.


	3. Promises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alright, cards on the table. This chapter is a bit rough. I'm a little mean to our lovebirds in this one. It was hard for me to write because I literally have five different endings that I'm deciding between, but all of them have this chapter in common. AN: I'm fully aware of how evil I'm being with leaving it where I am, but I promise you, I am working on Chapter 4 as you read this, and it will have more Zutara goodness.
> 
> I'm trying to keep everyone as IC as possible, and that means following the events of the last few minutes of Sozin's Comet. You know, the last five minutes that usually don't exist in Zutara fictions. So this is me trying to do something different and give the characters some depth. Bear with me, I promise it will get sooo much better soon!

The hard slam of the door echoed in his ears. His first thought was to run after her, but his pride wouldn't let him. She'd done enough damage to his ego in the past few minutes. He wouldn't give her the opportunity to batter him around anymore.

He rubbed his face, still in shock. He wasn't even sure what had happened, not really. One minute they were together, both of them equally lost, and then she has some attack of conscience and needs to talk. So they talk. And what does she decide? That she wants to be with Aang.

He should have left it there. That would've been enough rejection for most people. But he had to have the last word, just had to show her what she was missing. He hadn't thought it would have such an effect on him, too. He just wanted to make her think about him for a moment, to leave some sort of impression on her that she wouldn't forget. He didn't think it would touch him so deeply, make him long for her to stay. Every sigh, every twitch, every tug of his hair, she burrowed deeper and deeper into his heart until he wasn't trying to be remembered anymore. He was trying to forget. To forget that she meant to leave him. That if he didn't find a way to make her stay, she would be gone.

She'd made a beggar of him and ran away. It stung worse than the burn on his chest.

Zuko let out a frustrated groan, falling back onto his bed. His bed that smelled like her. He turned to his side, eyes shut against the pain. If he couldn't be with her, he'd shut himself down, shut down any amount of feelings that could make him think of her. He'd find things to occupy his time. He'd focus on his people, on rebuilding. On fixing things. And that would be it.

It was a noble cause. The best distractions always are.

* * *

Katara turned the corner away from Zuko's room, darting down a dark hallway to regain her composure. She didn't know why she was running. There was no logical reason for her to leave that room, she was happy and safe, and the way he made her feel…she felt her knees give out. She had to lean her back against the wall for support. There was too much going on in her head to make decisions at this point, and yet somehow she'd decided on Aang. It had all gone so fast, fight or flight kicked in. And when it mattered, she'd run. Spirits, why did I run?

Her hands shook as she tried to tie her dress together, still unsettled from her rash decisions, the rash decisions she just might have to live with. Shaking her head, she turned out of the hall, looking for a way out. Maybe she'd just take a walk to clear her head. Find Zuko in a couple hours and they'd talk. She would explain herself. She nodded, heading for the exit to the palace, hoping against hope that she'd find some reason in her wanderings.

She had just reached the stairs when she saw a girl in a cloak rushing into the courtyard. The hood slipped off and Katara recognized her instantly, even without those buns on her head. She was quite pretty, even pale with worry. Katara almost escaped her notice, but as she moved to hide beyond the glow of the torches, Mai's worried stare fell on her. "Hello?"

Katara's heart was racing. This was the last person in the world she wanted to see. She took a bracing breath and met Mai on the stairs, hoping she would realize she wasn't an enemy.

"Katara?"

"Mai."

Her eyes widened, but she seemed surprisingly relieved to see her. Katara wasn't sure how informed Mai was on the state of events. She approached her cautiously, hands raised. "Relax. I'm here to help Zuko."

Concern leapt in Mai's eyes. "Zuko? Is he alright?"

"He will be. He fought Azula. He won, but she left a mark. I healed him the best I could, he's resting in his room."

Mai nodded along, taking in Katara's words. "And Azula?"

"Chained up in a cell, but alive." Katara watched Mai process everything. Her first question was about Zuko. She really seemed to care about what happened to him. She wasn't with Azula anymore, that much was obvious. And from the small pieces of information Katara gleaned from Sokka and her father, Mai had a hand to play in their escape from Boiling Rock. She should be grateful that Zuko had someone in his life who cared so much for him. Someone who wasn't afraid to show it, to take risks with her own life so that Zuko could escape.

The thought rankled. She was staring in the face of Zuko's future. If Katara didn't exist, Mai would be the natural course his life would take. Now that she wasn't with Azula, she seemed less guarded, less protective of her emotions. Concern was written in every feature of her face, and Katara sighed in defeat.

This is why she'd run from him. Because she realized what neither one of them wanted to admit. They couldn't live their lives in that room. The feelings they had for each other wouldn't make it in the daylight. Daylight meant politics and rebuilding and the ruling of a nation. A nation Katara would always be separate from. Theirs was a passion best kept in the dark. But Mai could love him openly. She could care for him in ways Katara couldn't.

Pushing down her jealousy, Katara spoke. "I'm sorry, but I need to get going. I need to find my brother and Aang, make sure they're okay."

"Of course," Mai stepped out of her way, but she seemed as though she wanted to say something. Katara didn't wait for her to speak, unsure of what else she could say.

Mai called after Katara, her voice somewhat weaker than before. "Katara? Did he…ask for me? At all?"

Katara's eyes fell closed, heavy with responsibility. But this is what she did. She made the little sacrifices that no one saw to make everyone else's lives easier. Katara turned to Mai, a kindhearted lie on her lips.

"He's been in and out, but I think he'd be happy to see you in the morning."

Mai smiled a bit, seemingly pleased with the news. "Thank you. I owe you one." With that she turned and headed inside.

Katara felt like she'd been kicked in the gut. She was winded; she couldn't seem to get enough air in her lungs no matter how she gasped. With newfound purpose, Katara's legs carried her to Appa. She collapsed into the bison's soft hair and wept, feeling the loss of Zuko so poignantly that it was almost like he was hers. But he wasn't. She'd never had him, not really. She'd just borrowed him. He was with Mai before her, and now he could have Mai again. _This is the right thing to do. It has to be._

Katara wasn't sure how long she stayed like that, unable to move. But her sobs eventually calmed to a few stray tears, and she focused her attention on the task at hand. She had friends and family still fighting this war. She needed to get to them fast. She clambered onto the bison's back and took a firm hold of the reins. With one last look at the palace, Katara knew she was leaving for good. She would never come back to this place. Never.

With her head held high, she pulled the bison skyward.

* * *

Zuko woke with the dawn that morning, rolling over in his bed that felt strangely empty. Katara had only been there a few hours, but it felt wrong without her.

_Stop thinking about her. She made her choice. Now you have to let her go._

Zuko found a letter from his Council, detailing the outcome of the Avatar's fight with his father and the plans for his coronation. So Aang had pulled it off, in a way no one even though possible. Aang had taken his father's bending away. Zuko didn't know what to expect from him now. His earliest memorizes of his father all included fire. To see him now…it would be strange to say the least. Apparently Ozai was in a cell at Boiling Rock next to Azula. What a reunion trip that will be.

For his coronation, Zuko was to wear the robes provided him by the Fire Priests, and he should have a bit of a speech prepared. Zuko didn't know what to say. How do you convince an entire nation to follow you? A nation that thought of you as a traitor? And if that weren't bad enough, Aang was going to be there as well.

He knew perfectly well why. He was the Avatar after all. But he was also the last person Zuko wanted to see. Katara's rejection was still too fresh…he needed some time before he saw his replacement. It seemed his personal life would always be overruled by policy and propriety. It was important for the people of the Fire Nation to see he and Aang as a united front. It was the only way to gain their trust and start rebuilding relations with the other three kingdoms. So once again, he would have to put his personal feelings aside and work with Aang, for the greater good of his people. _Doesn't mean I have to like it._

Zuko stepped into a main room, wracking his brain for something to say in his speech. At some point in the night, someone had indeed come in to wrap his burn and a bit of his arm, but it was just getting in the way. Apparently Katara's healing had included some broken bones as well. Part of him was still in awe at Katara's skill with healing. He felt a twinge of pain in his shoulder, but nothing near as painful as a broken arm. Still, the doctor had insisted on wrapping it. It made putting his damn robe on a bit difficult.

"You need some help with that?"

Zuko turned around, his eyes wide with disbelief. "Mai?" A smile spread over his face as he saw her, sulking in a corner as always. "You're okay."

She smiled and walked towards him. Zuko was completely shocked, how did she even get there? How did she know where to find him? Last he'd heard…"They let you out of prison?"

She moved behind him, easing the robe onto his wounded shoulder. "My uncle pulled some strings. And it doesn't hurt when the new Fire Lord is your boyfriend."

That was just like Mai. Assuming nothing had changed was something of a specialty of hers. He was glad to see her well, but he felt a bit conflicted in just picking up where they left off. He'd broken up with her on purpose. He didn't want to drag her into the mess he'd made, and there was still plenty of mess to clean up. But she'd betrayed Azula at Boiling Rock, and all to save him. Maybe she really did care. Maybe he should take the gift being offered him. The chance to start over with her without the threat of Azula was tempting. And truth be told, it salved his wounded pride to see that Mai was still so taken with him.

Katara wasn't the only one who could move on so quickly. She wasn't the only one with options.

He was warm with Mai, testing the waters. "So does this mean you don't hate me anymore?"

"I think it means, I actually kind of like you." She pulled him in for a quick kiss, and Zuko felt…something. It wasn't the same as before his betrayal. It wasn't the same as Katara, either. But he felt something. Something good.

Kissing Mai felt familiar. It felt safe. They had a passion for each other once. They could find it again.

Mai pulled away quickly, jabbing a finger into his chest. Her words were short and articulate. "But don't ever break up with me again."

Zuko smiled awkwardly, pulling her in for a hug. This was a promise he was making. This was a conscious decision. It could very well come back to haunt him, but for now, he didn't care. He felt wanted. Mai wanted to be with him. It was enough for now.

* * *

Zuko dressed himself in his royal robes and put his hair up. Standing in the mirror, he almost didn't recognize himself. He'd grown accustomed to leaving his hair down, partially covering his face. The robes felt stiff; they were too big. Clearly they were meant to be his when he was much older. He adjusted the robes as best he could, the beginning of nerves creeping into his system. Today was the day he'd been trained for all his life. Today, he would become the Fire Lord.

He'd pictured this day many different ways throughout his childhood, but never quite like this. It was almost funny how different this day was than his adolescent hopes. So much of his young life was dominated by hate. Now his reign was to begin an age of peace and love. Destiny was funny sometimes.

Zuko starting walking towards the exit, ready to see his people and be crowned Fire Lord, when he saw Aang meditating by the door. Sometimes, Destiny wasn't funny at all.

He walked up to Aang, keeping business at the forefront of his mind, diffusing his unfair jealousy with the few truths he knew. It wasn't Aang's fault that Katara had chosen him. Aang never gave her an ultimatum or forced her to decide. He just waited. And it paid off. Zuko couldn't hate him for that.

His personal feelings were overshadowed by the strangeness of seeing Aang in the palace. For so long he had dreamed of getting Aang right here, as a present to his father, a chip to cash in for his honor. He shook his head at himself, at how narrow-minded he used to be. If not for Uncle Iroh, he never would have joined the Avatar's group. And the war would still be happening, his father would be wreaking havoc…it was too grim to think about. Now there was peace, all thanks to the little monk that sat before him.

He turned to the young Avatar and stopped. "I can't believe a year ago my purpose in life was hunting you down. And now…"

"And now we're friends." Aang's earnest smile was infectious. Zuko returned it despite himself.

"Yeah. We are friends."

Aang stood to face him, trying to make light of the situation, something of a trademark of his. "I can't believe a year ago I was still frozen in a block of ice. The world's so different now."

"And it's gonna be even more different. We'll rebuild it together."

Aang nodded in happy confirmation. Unable to stop himself, he hugged Zuko, so glad to have friends in the Fire Nation again. Glad to have friends that would support him throughout the long process of rebuilding.

Zuko wanted to shy away from this display of affection, but he let Aang hug him anyways. He was a good kid. He would grow into a good man, a man who could help him piece this world back together.

A man who would appreciate the gifts he'd been given.

Zuko took a calming breath and stepped away, walking through a dark doorway to begin his reign as Fire Lord. Mai and Iroh were there waiting for him. He turned to his uncle and hugged him hard, still amazed and grateful that he'd forgiven him so quickly. He looked at Mai, nervousness all over his face.

"I don't know what to say. How do I convince them to follow me?"

"You worry too much. You were born to do this, Zuko. You'll be great."

She pressed a quick kiss to his cheek, and Iroh smiled down on him. "Speak from your heart, nephew. The people will always respond to true intentions."

"I'll try, Uncle."

With a final deep breath, Zuko stepped out into the sunlight, amazed at how much of the Fire Nation was actually there. They cheered and shouted, happy the war was over, happy he was there. Happy to be free.

All of Zuko's nervousness fell away. He scanned the crowd and saw his friends. Sokka and Toph were jumping up and down with cheers. Katara laughed at them, clapping and shouting herself. Their eyes met for a brief moment. He was surprised how normal it felt.

He heard a stirring behind him and turned to see Aang. He held up a hand and addressed his people. He wasn't the only one they should be grateful towards. "Please. The real hero is the Avatar."

The crowd erupted, the noise swelling as Aang stood beside him. He seemed truly touched by the support of the Fire Nation. They were proud of him.

Katara glanced around beside her, amazed at the warm reception Aang was getting. Maybe they really could rebuild this place. These people were so grateful to be free of Ozai and Azula. Now they had a leader that would partner with the Avatar to bring them peace. Katara smiled up at Aang and was overcome with pride.

Zuko motioned for the crowd to quiet down as he began his speech. "Today, this war is finally over!"

Another bout of cheers came from the audience, and Katara joined them, her heart full of joy.

"I promised my uncle that I would restore the honor of the Fire Nation. And I will. The road ahead of us is challenging. A hundred years of fighting has left the world scarred and divided." Zuko looked to Aang, sure that their new friendship would be the basis for healing his people. "But with the Avatar's help, we can get it back on the right track, and begin a new era of love and peace."

Upon reflection, Katara would rationalize that she'd been seeing things, that she was caught up in the excitement of his coronation, but when Zuko spoke of love and peace, she could have sworn he looked straight at her. Her heart skipped a beat, but as quick as it happened, it was gone. She watched him kneel, the reality of the situation coming over her. This was really happening. He was becoming a ruler.

The Fire Priest lowered the golden flame into Zuko's hair, and with it the responsibilities of a nation. He stood proudly under the weight of it, smiling out onto his people as the priest shouted, "All hail Fire Lord Zuko!"

Katara tried to hold onto her pride for Aang, but it evaporated. The screams and shouts around her made her feel a bit dizzy as she realized who truly felt like hers. The young man standing in front of her, his crown gleaming in the sunlight…it didn't matter that she'd run. He'd found a way into her heart and there was no getting him out now. It gave her second thoughts. Maybe it wasn't too late to talk to him after all of this was over. The thought made her nervous, but she felt a bit excited as well. A true smile spread over her face as she looked at him, as she watched him smile at Aang, as she watched him glance behind him at someone in the shadows…

Katara's heart fell as she recognized her. He was smiling at Mai in the background; she was clapping and hiding a smile. A small, personal smile, the kind that escapes you when you're looking at someone you love. Someone that's yours.

Katara lowered her eyes, trying to drown out her thoughts with the cheers of the crowd. She looked back to Aang, wishing some of that pride back into herself, willing herself to forget her momentary doubts. All she had to do was survive the next few hours, and then she'd be free. She reasoned with herself, if only out of embarrassment. It was just because he was still right there that she felt conflicted. Once she and Aang were gone from the Fire Nation, she could put Zuko out of her mind for good. _And then, things will finally be easy._

* * *

It was strange to be with her friends and not be saving the world, to sit in a room and drink tea without the threat of destruction keeping her on edge. Katara could finally just relax. She glanced around the room as she sipped her tea. Iroh played them a happy song, one that spoke of peace and tranquility. Toph lounged in her chair, happily taking some tea from Zuko. Suki and Mai seemed to be chatting amicably; Katara did her best to ignore the latter.

Sokka seemed to have no problem adjusting to peace. He barked at Zuko for moving, something about a painting he was doing and how he was messing it up. Katara rolled her eyes, moving to see her brother's work. "Wait…why did you give me Momo's ears?"

"Those are your hair loopies!"

Everyone had similar complaints, though none had a more legitimate claim than Suki, who was displayed Fire bending, her fan out and ready to attack. She laughed at her brother's sweet, but ultimately terrible attempt at artwork. _Maybe you should stick to your boomerang, Sokka._

Katara noticed that Aang was distant from the rest of their party. He smiled and turned, petting Appa on the nose as he walked onto the balcony. Katara's brows creased as she watched him, wondering what he was up to. She followed him, wanting to make him as happy as the rest of them. They'd had a great victory, due in large part to him. He deserved to be happy today.

Aang turned as she approached, his eyes wide with hope. She blushed at his innocence. She knew exactly what he wanted, but he couldn't ask for himself. She smiled at him, moving closer to give him a hug. They pulled away, eyes reading each other to see what they were feeling. Aang gulped nervously, reaching his lips towards her, hoping she wouldn't turn away like on Ember Island.

She didn't. She met his kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck. This was her choice. This was the boy who would grow into the man she needed, the man the world needed. It was different than she'd anticipated, but sweet.

As expected, she felt Zuko creep into her mind, but she pushed him away, trying to get lost in her feelings for Aang. Yes, Zuko made her feel wonderful, but that wasn't love. It was too much to be real. Too hot to burn for long. They desired each other, and romantic feelings were bound to come with that. But she loved Aang. She truly believed he could rebuild the world, and he was going to need her help to do it. And Zuko had a nation to rule now. Mai could help him do that. It made sense. Everyone wins.

And once Aang was older, she'd feel that kind of passion again. Once their relationship had a solid foundation, and the world wasn't in a constant state of peril. They'd find time for them. Their romance would be a slow blooming flower, something they would both grow into. A comfortable fit.

He pulled away, beaming. "Katara, I want to make this world so much better. And if you're with me, I know I can do it. We can do it."

Katara smiled. "Together."

Aang leaned in for another kiss. It felt like a promise. A small, sweet promise that he wouldn't let her down. Katara pulled away first, pressing her hand to his cheek. She saw something twitch out of the corner of her eye; she glanced over and saw a scarred cheek slip back into the house. She felt a pang of regret, worried he'd seen them. The last thing she wanted to do was cause Zuko pain.

"Hey Twinkle Toes! Get in here!"

Aang and Katara laughed despite themselves, Toph's nickname for Aang a joke that would never grow old. Aang gave Katara's hand a squeeze before he re-entered the house. "What, Toph?"

Katara turned to watch the sunrise, a smile still on her lips, leaning on the balcony railing. She felt someone move behind her and her smile faded. He leaned beside her, keeping a respectable distance between them at all times. She didn't have to look to know who it was.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to see that."

Zuko joined her in watching the sunrise, his elbows leaning on the railing, his hands clasped. "It's not a problem."

"It's not?"

Zuko shrugged. "You have Aang, I have Mai. It doesn't have to be strange between us."

Katara was shocked by Zuko's collected manner. He still wouldn't look at her, but he seemed calm, unconcerned. At peace, almost. Katara wished he'd show even a little bit of jealousy. It would make her feel better about the fury that possessed her when she saw him with Mai. "What do we do now?"

"Well, I've got about 100 years of damage control to deal with, and I imagine you and Aang will go wherever the Avatar is needed most—"

Katara finally turned to look at Zuko. "That's not what I meant. I don't…Zuko, I'm not sure I know how to do this. How to just be friends with you."

"Then you'll have to figure it out. Because that's all we'll ever be."

His coldness shocked her. "Zuko—"

"We've both made our promises. Promises to other people. Now, we keep them," He finally turned, his eyes meeting hers, a sinister part of him almost pleased to see her in pain. "That's how we do this."

He turned away from her and walked inside, ignoring the sound of tears catching in her throat. He ached to run out to her and apologize, to take her in his arms and promise not to let go, but that wasn't his place. It never was, if he was honest. He kept walking, his face emotionless.

_Good. Let her hurt a little. I do._


	4. Surprises

_Six months later…_

Katara thought she'd be used to travelling by now, but the endless cycle was getting old. She and Aang had started a tour of sorts. They'd followed her father back to the Southern Water Tribe and started there, thanking everyone for their help in the war and outlining new plans for peace. They never stayed anywhere longer than a week. It was hard to say goodbye to her family again so soon, but choosing to be with Aang meant following him on his Avatar duties. He couldn't very well keep travelling back and forth to her. She wouldn't ask that of him. So she followed, asking little for herself, making friends as she could.

The first few weeks weren't bad at all. They were actually quite fun. It reminded her of the old days, before they knew anything about Zuko besides his stupid ponytail. Sokka, Suki, and Toph were all with them in the South Pole, and they continued with them as they travelled to the Earth Kingdom. Toph wanted to visit her parents, and Suki wanted to be back on Kyoshi Island. And wherever Suki went, Sokka would follow. Katara often envied them. Their love was easy and apparent. It was impossible to watch them together and not see how in love they were. All those sayings about "two halves" made sense around them.

In these moments she would look at Aang. He was usually oblivious, doing flips on his glider or making patterns in the earth with Toph. He didn't notice the same things she did. But every time the doubt started to creep in, he would look up and notice her, turning a bright smile her way. She would always return it, kindness in her eyes. It had been sweet at first, but the puppy eyes were starting to wear on her patience.

They saw Bumi and Haru on their tour of the Earth Kingdom. They said goodbye to Sokka and Suki and the rest of the Kyoshi Warriors, and finally they said farewell to Toph at her parent's house. She wasn't planning to stay, but she did admit they had a lot to talk about. Katara had offered to stay a bit longer, for emotional support, but Toph refused. "Some things you have to do alone, Sweetness."

Katara laughed at her nickname and hugged her friend. "Don't be a stranger, Toph. Find us sometime soon."

"Of course. Who else is gonna finally get Aang to work on his Earth bending again?"

Aang groaned, like a child faced with chores. "Toph, I defeated the Fire Lord, do I really have to keep working on Earth bending forms?"

"You better believe it, Twinkle Toes."

The first night without Toph was nearly silent. Katara never realized it, but she and Aang had never spent that much time alone together. There were always other people around, other inputs in their conversation. Around the fire that night, it was only her, Aang, and Appa. And Momo, she added, watching as the little creature munched away on some berries. Katara sighed. Her social circle was now fifty percent animals. _Please visit soon, Toph. It's too quiet without you._

Weeks passed like this, their campfires filled with silence. The times they lodged in towns were the best. They met new friends, solved small problems, helped those in need. It was good to feel useful. But then the night would come, and no matter how she tried to fight it, Katara's thoughts always drifted back to the one night she hadn't slept alone.

She doubted Zuko even remembered it. She wasn't lying to Mai when she said he'd been in and out—there was a good hour where he wavered in and out of consciousness, nothing but Katara's healing keeping him out of the Spirit World. Many servants entered and tried to offer her lodgings of her own, but she'd refused every one. Eventually they stopped trying. She wasn't going to leave him. Not until he woke for real and proved he was going to make it.

Zuko's brows furrowed in his sleep, his body twitching with aftershocks of lightning. Some of the energy was still working its way out of his body, it seemed. Katara focused on his wound, pulling all of the energy she could out in the water, depositing it in an empty pot beside her. This seemed to calm him; his brow relaxed and his body settled. Katara smiled at him, smoothing the hair from his forehead. She was working at the end of her abilities. Fatigue swept over her like a wave—she wanted nothing more than sleep, but Zuko had yet to settle for more than a few minutes at a time. She moved closer to him on the bed, pulling the blanket up to cover him more fully. She eyed a pillow beside his head. Maybe she could just lie down beside him, watch to make sure he was really asleep from a more comfortable position.

She moved his arms to rest on top of his chest—he sighed when she moved him, but stayed asleep. That was a good sign. Maybe he was finally asleep for good, and his body could take over the healing process. It was a large bed. There was plenty of room for her to lie down without disturbing him. She carefully swung her legs onto the bed, slowly lowering her body onto the mattress, her head sinking deeply into the pillow. It was more comfortable than anything she'd ever felt in her life.

 _Lying down was a mistake. There's no way I can stay awake when I'm this comfortable._ But at the moment, she didn't care. If he stirred, she'd feel it, and she'd wake up and heal him. She relaxed against the pillow, lifting her head to make sure that he was asleep. When she saw that he was, she turned away from him, curling in on herself, ready for a well-earned nap. As her eyes slid shut, she felt Zuko stir beside her. Groaning inwardly she turned, ready to start the healing process again, but when she did, Zuko's arm wrapped around her, pulling her to rest against his chest.

Katara froze, unsure if he was awake or asleep. She listened to the beating of his heart; it was strong and even. He would be fine now. She let out a grateful sigh, happy to know she could finally rest. She tried to disentangle herself from Zuko, but he snorted and almost woke when she moved. So she laid her head in the crook of his shoulder, her arm draped across his stomach. She felt…strangely comfortable.

She was out like a light. A few hours later, Katara would wake and check Zuko's vitals again, and after a few minutes he woke up, confused of his surroundings but very much alive. And then the night became other memories, memories that made it even harder to sleep.

It wasn't long before her nightly routine took its toll on Katara. She wasn't sleeping much, and when she slept it was light, nothing deep or sustaining. It grated on her nerves, made her a bit shorter tempered. Aang tried not to mention anything, but as the days wore on, he became truly worried about Katara.

They were still in the depths of the Earth Kingdom when Aang was sure there was something wrong. Wanting to make things better, he turned to her that night at their campfire, broaching the subject neither of them wanted to discuss. "Katara, I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but are you okay? You've been really quiet the past couple days."

Katara stoked the fire, making sure the rice cooked evenly. "Have I? I'm sorry."

"Is something wrong?"

Katara sighed, unsure what to say. She'd thought her feelings for Zuko would pass with time and distance. And to some extent, they had. But the memories…Zuko hadn't been wrong. He had given her something to regret, but it was more than that. He'd given her something to long for.

But that wasn't the only reason she was feeling so down. She was tired of this tour, tired of having no one to talk to. She tried to keep her voice steady, but emotion broke in anyway. She was too sleep deprived to have much control over herself these days. "I just…I think I'm really tired of travelling. I miss staying somewhere for a long period of time. I miss seeing my family, my friends." Katara curled her knees in on her chest, hugging them close. "I miss having a home."

Aang moved closer to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "I know. And I'm sorry we're on the move so much right now. It's just that people need to know that the Avatar is back, and here to stay. So I have to see a bunch of people and travel to a lot of towns right now."

Katara cuddled closer, unhappy with the answer, but knowing it was true. "I get it, Aang. I just wish there was somewhere I could call home. Even when we were with the Southern Water Tribe I felt like an outsider. I've been gone from there too long to call it home."

Aang turned her head to face him and softly kissed her cheek. "Katara, I promise you. As soon as we're done visiting the kingdoms, we'll find a place we want to live and make a home."

She smiled at him. "That sounds nice, Aang. I'd like that."

They kissed in the firelight, Momo's contented munching the only sound they could hear.

* * *

Aang knew all the travelling was hard. It wasn't his favorite thing either. But he didn't have a home to welcome Katara into, not really. All of the Air Temples were either destroyed or too full of memories. He was just as homeless as she was. They needed a break. Some time with friends, perhaps. Then it hit him, an idea so simple he didn't know why he hadn't thought of it before.

Through the rest of their time in the Earth Kingdom, Aang stealthily redirected their travel to facilitate his plan. It took a few days, but eventually Katara could tell that something was going on. The winds got warmer the longer they travelled—they were headed somewhere decidedly hotter, and the Earth Kingdom wasn't cold. They were riding on Appa when she first noticed the change in scenery.

They were flying over the Fire Nation.

Her heart sank like a stone, clanging in the pit of her stomach. "Aang? Where are we going?"

His grin was nearly blinding. He thought he was doing her a favor. "Surprise!"

"Are we in the Fire Nation?"

"Yep! I thought about what you said, about being tired of travelling so much, and I thought we could take a break from solving everyone's problems and just relax for a bit."

"And you thought we could do that…in the Fire Nation?"

"Well, yeah. What other friends do we know that have their own palace?"

Her eyes widened ever further. "Palace?"

"Of course. I'm sure Zuko and Mai will be thrilled to see us. And while we're there, Zuko and I can work on our plans for the Fire Nation, and then we'll swing up to the Northern Water Tribe to finish our travels. It's perfect, right?"

He seemed so pleased with himself, but the Fire Nation was the last place Katara wanted to be, especially the palace. She couldn't intrude on Zuko's life like that. It had been six months since she'd seen him. And truth be told, she didn't exactly relish the idea of watching him fawn over Mai. _But what can I do? I can't tell Aang why I don't want to go, it'll break his heart._

She already saw his face falling. "Aren't you excited, Katara?"

With a cleansing breath, she plastered a smile on her face, hoping against hope that it looked convincing. "It'll be great, Aang. Thank you for thinking of this."

She halfway hoped that Zuko would be engaged. Because she needed him to be completely off-limits if this trip was going to work.

* * *

Zuko thought he'd be used to meetings by now. Apparently a Fire Lord's job was never done.

He sat with his council, listening to them bicker and deliberate about different rebuilding projects. Zuko really didn't see the problem. If something was damaged, just fix it. The treasury had plenty of money to fund it, so just _do it already._ The politics of it all was getting to be more than he could take.

Ozai had burned more bridges than Zuko had thought possible. It wasn't just relations with other kingdoms that needed work—there were plenty of problems he inherited right here at home. Other than the military generals, there were few important leaders that trusted the Fire Lord anymore. _One hundred years of war will do that, I guess._

Zuko couldn't take it anymore. He hit the ground with his hand, letting it echo until he got the attention he desired. "This is what we do. Send some royal advisors to the affected areas and have them coordinate with the masons and carpenters closest to them. It will decrease the amount of travel for the supplies, and it will help get the people in those areas working again."

One of his councilors piped up. "But what if they run out of materials?"

Zuko's eyes narrowed at him. "Then I'll send them more. We have friends and allies now. If we need something we don't have, I'll ask them."

"But what if—"

"Enough 'what if's! We're done for today," Zuko looked to another member of his council, a far more rational woman from an outlying part of the Fire Nation. "Please make sure it gets done."

"Of course, Fire Lord."

Zuko stood and walked from the room with his head held high, but as soon as he cleared the curtains, he sighed and rubbed his temples. They were throbbing with bureaucracy. _Why can't things just be simple sometimes?_

With the abrupt end of his council meeting, he had a small amount of the afternoon free. He didn't much feel like finding Mai—she wasn't really the spontaneous type. He needed to relax. With a small smile, he knew exactly where he should go.

Zuko left his royal attire in his new Fire Lord quarters and changed into more comfortable clothes. It was still a little strange to think of this room as his own and not his father's, but time can make a person get used to almost anything, it seemed.

With a new spring in his step, he ran out a side door of the palace, greeting some surprised servants on his way. They all hurried into bows as he ran past, much to Zuko's chagrin. He really had to talk to them about that. It was getting old.

Zuko found his favorite spot happily unoccupied. Everyone in the palace knew not to disturb him when he was by the lake, even Mai. The turtleducks saw him coming and swam speedily towards him, quacking gleefully for the bits of bread they knew he would give. He stretched out below the tree, leaning his back against it contentedly. This is what he needed. Just some simple relaxation: no council, no distractions, and no interruptions.

Zuko stared up into the sky, watching the clouds as they passed. He squinted at one in particular that seemed to be moving differently than the others. The wind wasn't blowing it in the same direction…it seemed to be headed towards him. It was heading towards him. And as it came closer still, Zuko realized it wasn't a cloud at all.

Appa was galloping in the air, headed straight for him. Aang stood on the bison's back, waving his arms in excitement. "Hey, Zuko! Surprise!"

Zuko's eyes looked beyond the Avatar and found Katara, a look of remorse and apology so thick on her face he could see it from the ground. Her eyes met with his and she covered her face, unable to look at him. Aang continued waving, laughing as they descended.

_Agni, why couldn't things ever just be simple?_

* * *

Katara could barely think when Appa touched the ground. All she could hear was her heart beating wildly, and something was making her stomach do somersaults. She nearly passed out when she slid off the bison's back, trying to hide her misstep by turning to unpack their things.

Aang ran up to Zuko and gave him a hug. She was surprised to see Zuko return it at all, but it seemed he had no problem being civil with him. Zuko met her stare as he patted Aang's back, his eyes narrowing in a cross between frustration and something she didn't quite recognize.

He seemed to walk towards her in slow motion. She shook her head to clear it, hoping she didn't look as much of a mess as she felt. Not even a minute into seeing him again and she already felt the flood of feelings coming back to her.

He paused in front of her, a forced smile on his face. She could tell he wasn't happy to see her. She felt grossly unwanted. She should've made something up, she should've lied. _This was a terrible mistake._

Zuko felt a torrent of emotion swell up in him as he looked at her. She looked tired. Exhausted, really. Potentially unhappy. It wasn't a good look on her. He cleared his throat. "Katara."

"Hello, Zuko." She tried to find something to say, glancing around, trying to find anything to look at besides him. He looked tired. A bit worn out. The duties of being Fire Lord must be getting to him. She glanced over his shoulder to where Aang was leading Appa to a stable. "Did Aang—"

"Explain? Yeah. He did."

She nodded, pulling her pack closer to her chest. She couldn't hold back any longer. "I'm sorry, Zuko. Aang thought it would be a nice break or something, and I didn't know what to say—"

"It's fine, Katara." He looked pained, but a smile escaped him. He reached out and touched her arm. He meant it as a comforting gesture, but it was anything but. He immediately regretted it; he retracted his arm, letting it drop by his side. It was a mistake to touch her. "It's good to see you."

Even their momentary contact made her yearn, and he could see it. Zuko had to clear his voice to make sure it didn't betray them. He changed the subject. "We can set you both up with some rooms. Are you hungry at all?"

She shook her head. He nodded, unsure where to go from there. "Well you should get some sleep then. You look tired."

"So do you."

He rubbed the back of his head, smiling. It felt strange to be smiling so much. "Yeah, I guess I do."

Aang returned to them and Zuko instinctively backed away, not wanting Aang to see anything potentially conspicuous. He knew this day would come, the day when he would have to swallow any residual feelings and treat her as what she was: the Avatar's girlfriend. Katara handed Aang his pack and he slung it on his shoulder, then reaching up to press a kiss to her cheek. She stood frozen in embarrassment, willing him to stop. _Aang, this is so not the time for random acts of affection…_

Zuko looked away, turning his body towards the palace. A thought crossed his mind, and instead of pushing it away, he toyed with the idea of indulging his darker side. He might be one of the good guys now, but some habits die hard.

He gestured to the couple. "Follow me. I'll set you up in your rooms."

* * *

_That bastard._

Katara was staring daggers as they stopped outside the door, but luckily for Zuko, her looks couldn't kill. He knew exactly what he was doing. It was very intentional, she could tell. _I don't know how, Zuko, but you are going to pay for this._

Opening the door confirmed it. Zuko had set her up in his old quarters, the room that had haunted her dreams for nearly six months now. But she could do nothing but smile and accept, because he'd smartly shown her to her room first, which meant Aang was still with them. She couldn't say a word about it while he was there. She somehow struggled out two words. "Thank you."

Zuko's golden eyes were glinting with mischief. "I hope you'll find it comfortable. This room is usually for the Fire Prince, but since I took the throne, this room's been empty."

Katara's barbed wit was quick on the draw. "Yes, I see that. Don't worry, I'm sure you and Mai will have it filled in no time. Nothing says rebuilding like a secure line of ascension."

Zuko faltered at the thought. "There's plenty to be worried about before…I mean, Mai and I haven't really talked about…" He used Aang as an excuse to escape the conversation. "Come on, Aang. I'll show you to your room."

Katara allowed herself a brief, victorious glare at Zuko as he shut the door behind him. She watched his eyes all the way until it slid closed, giving as good as she was getting. But when she heard their footsteps disappear down the hall, Katara's defenses collapsed. She felt her knees weaken and she slid to the floor, her back pressed against the bed she was sure she'd never sleep in.

She didn't know how long Aang planned to stay, but one thing was for certain. If she didn't avoid Zuko as much as possible, she wouldn't survive it.

After a few moments on the floor, Katara's fatigue set in. She felt the ache in her bones and the strain in her muscles. Six months of sleeping mostly on the ground had taken its toll.

Six months. Had it really been that long already? She stretched on the ground, feeling the satisfying pull of her muscles as she yawned. She really was exhausted. Months of poor sleep had finally caught up with her. She stood, eyeing the bed contemplatively. It _was_ a comfortable bed.

"Spirits, I don't care." She collapsed on the bed, and before she could even realize how comfortable she was, she was asleep.

* * *

It hadn't been too hard to avoid Zuko for the first few days of their "vacation". Zuko had meetings most of the time, if not with his Council, then it was something with Aang, so by eating dinner a bit earlier or later, Katara found she could avoid him entirely. It was taking every ounce of her self-control to do so, but she was sticking to it. It was bad enough that she and Aang had dropped in on him like this. The least she could do was try to stay out of his way.

She filled her days with exploring. On her second day in the palace, she found a weathered path that ran behind it. After a short walk, she found a sizeable training arena. It looked old, but well kept. There was a small building with an open patio area, supported by large square columns. On a hot day like this, it provided much needed shade. Under the patio's roof were statues of what looked to be past Avatars—she walked closer to read an inscription on one and found that it was Roku. _This must be the training arena for Fire Nation Avatars._ The thought gave Katara pause. It seemed so strange to think of a world where training the Avatar was a simple feat, where Master Benders would line up for the honor of teaching the Avatar. She laughed to herself. It had taken everything they had to find Earth and Fire teachers for Aang. She had a feeling that the next Avatar would be well provided for—Aang would see to that.

She continued to walk the premises, impressed with its upkeep. There must've been many servants charged with the sole purpose of keeping the training arena pristine. Of course, with it being so close to the palace, Katara doubted that was an issue. It was a perfect location to work with all four of the elements. It looked onto a fairly large running river, so there was plenty of water. Katara walked onto the matted floor outside the patio and saw small discs of earth stacked in a pile. There was even a contraption that looked similar to Aang's glider that Katara assumed was for Air bending. It was close enough to the palace to be convenient, but far enough away that Katara found the one thing she hadn't had in over six months: solitude.

It became a common refuge for Katara. She spent most of their first week at the training arena, sometimes practicing the different forms she'd learned from Pakku, and other times she was happy to sit and meditate, small wisps of water swirling around her as she concentrated.

On the beginning of their second week at the palace, Katara sat in her now-usual place, meditating to keep herself centered. She finally let her mind wander freely, even into the memories she wished she could forget. Avoiding Zuko was getting harder and harder—he seemed to have caught onto her scheme. No matter. She was sure he and Aang couldn't have much more to talk about. They'd be gone in a matter of days. Even if Aang wanted to stay, Katara would hurry him along. There was only so much avoiding one person could do without being rude, and Katara was definitely toeing the line on that one.

As she concentrated on the water, her mind shifted to Mai. She hadn't seen much of her either, but Katara shrugged it off. Probably because she was always with Zuko, so avoiding Zuko meant avoiding Mai, too. It didn't really bother Katara—she didn't know Mai that well. Apart from their conversation on the steps, Katara had barely even spoken to her. She caught glimpses of her around the palace. She seemed to like to read outside, and spent most of her time in a book. Katara wondered why she didn't join Zuko in any of his meetings. She was bound to be Fire Lady someday, she should have a say in what was going on in the rebuilding effort.

The thought didn't sit well with her and she opened her eyes, letting the water fall over her head. It was pleasantly cool on her skin—she had adjusted to the warmer temperatures of the Fire Nation, but today was particularly hot. She was wearing her old Fire Nation disguise, hoping that she could stay cooler if she exposed more skin. She should've known she was tempting Fate, and Fate had a tendency to tempt her far too much.

She heard a rustling behind her and stood, turning to see a somewhat unfamiliar face. Mai carried a box with her, seemingly unaware of Katara's presence. When she looked up she saw Katara standing in front of her.

"So this is where you've been running off to."

Katara doubted that Mai smiled very often, so she took her somewhat snippy remark and half-smirk as a sign that they were fine with each other. Katara nodded with a shrug. "I guess you could say that. It's a nice place to just sit and think."

"Trust me, I know the feeling. Zuko's usually busy with his Council. I've found lots of ways to keep myself amused. I train here a lot, actually."

Katara suddenly felt like an intruder. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get in your way or anything—"

"You didn't. I only come here every couple of weeks to keep my blade skills, well sharp, I guess."

Katara laughed at her unintentional joke. She could see why Zuko liked her. Mai was funny in her own way once you got to know her. "Why aren't you in any of those meetings? I thought that since you and Zuko are together that—"

"He doesn't want me in there. And honestly, that suits me fine. I've never been one to get involved in other people's business."

Katara didn't expect that. She assumed Zuko would be happy to have Mai help with affairs of state. And it didn't seem to bother Mai as much as it should, though maybe she was just particularly good at hiding her feelings. Apparently Zuko's busyness was a regular occurrence, but all things considered, it seemed their relationship was a good fit for Mai. She was content to keep to herself and live her own life. Katara could respect that, though she wondered if this closed-off girl was ever warm, even with Zuko. She shook the thought from her head and gestured to the box under Mai's arm. "Are those your blades?"

"Yeah, a new set, actually. I was going to try them out." Mai looked at Katara awkwardly. "Do you mind if I—"

"Oh no, that's fine, please. I was just meditating anyway."

Mai set the box on the ground and gathered a few of her blades in her hand. She stepped onto the matted floor and pulled down a thick wooden circle from a tall cage at the end of the mat. There was a series of smaller circles painted on it, with many chips in the wood around the center. One thing Katara did remember about Mai was her skills with those blades. She watched Mai center herself before she decided to go. It was getting late—if she wanted to avoid another meal with Zuko, she should eat something in the kitchens now.

"Well, it was nice to see you. Thanks for sharing your hiding place."

Mai turned to Katara and smirked. "Any time." She let one of the blades fly from across the floor; it stuck dead center in the wood, making a satisfying noise.

"Nice shot."

"Thanks."

Mai bent her legs into a deep crouch, springing from the lunging position to twirl in the air, sending another three blades at the target. They hit the wood with a smack, creating a perfect triangle around the first blade. Katara was astounded. Mai was a Master. "You're really good at that."

She sent another blade flying. "I've had a lot of practice with stationary targets."

"You want a moving one?"

Mai looked up and quirked her eyebrows. "What do you mean?"

Katara pulled some water from the river and bent it into ice. She sent it zooming in front of the target. Mai shot a blade with a flick of her wrist; the ice shattered on contact. A small chunk remained pinned between the blade and the wood. Mai smiled. "Nice one. Toss me another."

Katara let out a real smile. Maybe this is what it would take to forget about Zuko. Mai was a perfectly nice girl. A little strange, perhaps, but nice. And incredibly talented with her blades. Forgetting about Zuko meant he and Mai could be happy. She tried to convince herself that that was important as she launched Mai another ice target.

When Mai was out of blades she walked to the wooden target and started the process of pulling them all out again. "Thanks, Katara. That was…fun."

"Yeah, it was. We should do this again sometime, it would be nice to see more of you while I'm here."

"Well you'll see me at dinner, we can plan something then."

Katara froze. "Dinner?"

"Yeah. Zuko's uncle is coming back from some diplomacy meeting something-or-other and he's having this big dinner for him. It's all he's been talking about all week. He didn't tell you?"

Katara's eyes darted around as she tried to think of what to say. "I uh…haven't really seen much of Zuko since we've been here."

Mai pulled on a blade with an impressive amount of force. It slipped cleanly out of the wood, ringing in the air. "Tell me about it."

Afraid she'd touched a vein there, Katara turned the conversation back to dinner. "Is this like some big event? I don't really have much nice to wear—"

"What you're wearing now is fine. Better than that blue thing you've always got on." Mai shot a look at Katara. "No offense."

Katara was too distracted to be offended. "None taken. Well, um…thanks for letting me know. I guess…I'll see you at dinner, then."

Katara walked away, cursing herself, completely unsure what dinner would bring. She'd avoided him for over a week now. He was bound to have noticed. The last thing she wanted to do was incur the wrath of Zuko with Aang at the same dinner table.

She sighed. _So close._


	5. Confrontation

Aang was waiting for her at the palace entrance, ready to tell her about the dinner. She explained her training with Mai, and that Mai had filled her in already, when a voice called from behind her.

"The training arena is a nice place to be. Explains why I haven't seen you around much."

Katara turned to see Zuko in what she could only assume were some of his nicer clothes: dark charcoal pants and a red shirt that hung loose, but tied around his slim waist with a thin belt. With the golden flame in his hair, he didn't just look like a Fire Lord. He was fire incarnate. She cleared her throat, trying to excuse her absence by redirecting the blame. "I've been around. You've just been busy."

Zuko's eyes narrowed at her. He saw right through her. "Not that busy."

They were interrupted with the entrance of Iroh. All the stress in Zuko's face seemed to fade as he smiled, truly glad to see the old man's return. "Uncle."

Iroh laughed, reaching to embrace his nephew. "Zuko. It is truly good to see you again." He released Zuko from his hug, patting him on the shoulder. Iroh turned to see Katara and Aang and his smile grew. "And it is good to see you two as well. You shouldn't keep so long away. How long has it been?"

Katara opened her mouth to speak, but Zuko beat her to it. "Six months."

"That long already? How time does fly."

Katara's brows knit together in confusion as she looked at Zuko. His even stare seemed…angry? She'd stayed away for his own good; to give him space to…what did it matter anymore? It clearly hadn't worked. _For either of us._

They followed Aang and Iroh into the dining room where Mai was already waiting. Iroh and Mai hugged, but it seemed strange. Katara couldn't really imagine Mai hugging anyone, but the fact that she tried meant she cared. Apparently.

There were five places set at the end of the large, low table. Zuko gestured to the seat at the head of the table, looking to Iroh. "Please, Uncle. This is in your honor, after all."

Iroh shook his head as he moved to sit. "The more you talk about honor, Zuko, the more I need a hot cup of tea."

The group broke into easy laughter; even Zuko couldn't help but smile at his uncle's joke. Iroh brought out the best in him. He made Zuko remember that while he was Fire Lord, he was also a person, a human being. Someone who needed a break every once and a while. The past few months without him had been especially hard. With no one to make him stop, he'd been working seven days a week since Iroh left.

Zuko walked around the side of the table and sat beside Mai, who was already sitting on the floor in the spot across from Aang. Katara slowly lowered herself onto the pillows, unsure how she was going to eat anything with Zuko sitting directly across from her. She tried her best to keep her composure. She would not let him see that he was getting to her. Several fire metaphors jumped into her head, but she hurried them away. He met her gaze as he sat, slowly, regally.

 _Yeah. This will be good_.

A couple servants set the food in front of them, an equal amount of meat and vegetarian options, in deference to Aang. Katara was ecstatic. She hadn't had meat since they'd dropped Toph off at her parents'. She respected Aang's decisions, but there was only so much rice and vegetables a girl could take. She loaded up her plate with a hefty portion of what looked to be some kind of pork, catching Zuko's eye as she did so.

He looked slightly amused. "Hungry?"

She raised an eyebrow at him. "As a matter of fact, yes. I am."

"Maybe you should come to dinner more often, then."

"If I'd ever been invited, maybe I would have."

The tension between them could be cut with a knife. For a dinner that was supposedly so important to him, Katara thought Zuko was doing a pretty great job of ruining it. Every other word out of his mouth was something said specifically to goad her. It made her defensive, regardless of how she tried to keep her temper under wraps. Katara glanced at Mai, wondering if she knew what was going on. Mai looked like she noticed that something was off, but she said nothing, content to eat in silence. Aang was too busy eating to say anything. Katara sighed, happy for that at least, and continued to eat.

Having won their staring match, Zuko turned to Iroh. "I hope your trip was successful, Uncle. How are our friends in the Earth Kingdom?"

"Bumi sends his greetings, strange as they may be. But I don't want to talk about state affairs right now. We have friends here. We should be welcoming, Zuko."

With a deep sigh, Zuko turned to Katara. "Forgive me. I should have asked about your travels first, since this is the first I've seen of you all week."

 _That again? Really, Zuko?_ "You've spent a lot of time with Aang, I'm sure he's filled you in on most of it."

"A lot of travelling from what I hear."

Katara took a sip of her water, clearing her throat. "Yes. It's been a long road. But I think we'll be done sometime soon. Then we can find somewhere to settle down, right Aang?"

Zuko shifted uncomfortably at the notion of Katara and Aang setting up house together, but he kept it under control. Mostly. He looked to Aang and found him smiling, his mouth half-full of peas. To Aang's credit he swallowed quickly once he realized the conversation had turned to him, taking a gulp of water to wash it down. "That's the plan. Once we're done visiting all the different cities, it'd be nice to find somewhere to call home. And I'd really like to start training again. I know there's a lot I need to work on in my bending."

"If you ever need a Fire Master again, I'm sure Zuko would be happy to help you," Iroh chimed in. He feigned ignorance when Zuko shot him a look, but the old man knew exactly what he was doing. There was something strange between him and Katara. Iroh wanted to see what it was. Poking and prodding usually forced Zuko into giving something away.

"That would be great. I think Fire is still my weakest element, so I would like to practice that most—"

"I'm sure we could find someone else, Aang. Zuko's duties as Fire Lord—"

"Do not have to consume every hour of his every day. A lesson he is still learning, I'm afraid." Iroh raised an eyebrow at Zuko, who became suddenly fascinated with his rice as he felt his uncle's stare. Iroh turned back to Katara. "I apologize for my nephew's lack of hospitality. I hope, at least, you were given comfortable rooms."

A short laugh escaped Zuko, but with his mouth full of rice it caused him to choke. He coughed, trying to clear his airway, and Katara was momentarily pleased with the speed of cosmic justice. A few sips of water later, he seemed to have calmed, the traces of a smug grin still on his face. Katara's mouth was set in an even line as she glared at him, astounded he'd even had the audacity to laugh.

"Wrong pipe," Zuko explained, his voice still rough from the coughing. He cleared his throat and tried again. "I actually gave her my old room, Uncle, since Aang was in the guest quarters."

Iroh seemed pleased enough with that, and he returned to his food. "Good. Your friends should be given the best."

"My thoughts exactly. I know from personal experience how comfortable the bed is." His stare fell to Katara in an obvious manner. "I spent many nights in that room."

 _How dare you, Zuko._ He was getting way too personal way too quickly. He had piqued Katara's anger. "Not too many, I think. You've spent your time travelling as well."

"Perhaps not many, then. Maybe just some special ones." Here he caught Mai's eye, and Katara watched her blush and smile, the hot feeling of a blush rising quickly in her own cheeks.

Katara felt his remark like a kick in the gut, and it stung. To bring up their time together was one thing, but to set her up in that room and pointedly bring up the times he'd spent with Mai in the same bed…in the bed she'd have to sleep in tonight…the fact that he would use the memory of their time together as leverage in a fight…it was bordering on cruel.

Katara's hunger shriveled under the weight of it all. She took a long sip of water, struggling to keep her composure. "Yes, well. I think I'm just not used to the rich quality of food you have here. I think I'll return to my room and lie down, since it is so comfortable."

She stood, dropping her napkin on her plate. Her eyes were burning with the strain of holding back tears, but she managed to look to the head of the table with a hurried farewell. "It's good to see you, Iroh. Please, excuse me."

He sounded worried, but let her go. "Of course, Katara."

Aang watched her walk away, concern evident in his face. "Katara, are you alright?"

"I'm fine. Just a bit tired. I'll see you in the morning, Aang." She was ready to rush for the door, but instead she turned back and knelt beside Aang, pressing a tender kiss to his cheek. "Good night."

Zuko all but rolled his eyes, poking at his food with his chopsticks.

Aang offered a concerned smile, squeezing her hand. "Good night. Sleep well."

Katara glanced around the room and accidentally met Zuko's eyes. Her guard was down, just a bit. He could clearly see the effect of his words, no matter how she tried to keep it to herself. "I'll try."

Katara's footsteps echoed in Zuko's ears. He didn't know why he was so angry, or what she'd done to piss him off so severely, but he knew he wasn't fighting fair. Then again, neither was she. He told himself he had nothing to be ashamed of, that there was no reason to feel guilty for what he'd said, but it didn't change the fact that his victory seemed hollow now.

Aang turned to Zuko. "That was weird. You think Katara's okay?"

Zuko shrugged, unsure of what to say. Iroh stepped in. "Perhaps she is just tired, as she said. You should speak with her in the morning. Sometimes, it is better to think about what you want to say, rather than speaking on impulse alone."

Zuko dropped his chopsticks on his plate. He was already angry enough at himself. He didn't need his uncle on his case too, with his thinly veiled advice making him feel ashamed. "I think I'm done, too. With your permission, Uncle."

"Of course, Zuko."

Zuko stood, not even sparing a glance toward Mai as he left.

Mai sighed, turning back to her food. She may be quiet, but she wasn't stupid. Something was going on. Not wanting Aang and Iroh to eat in silence, she decided to take the wise advice Iroh had offered. She would collect her thoughts and speak with Zuko in the morning. The last thing she wanted was any of his anger misdirected at her.

* * *

Katara never went to her room. She couldn't so much as look at the door. Instead, her feet carried her to the only other place near the palace she really knew: the training arena. She didn't care if it was pitch black outside. She was in need of some calming meditation right now.

She sat cross-legged and focused, bringing up small wisps of water that flowed faster than usual. All of her pent up frustration was running the little streams of water in endless circuits around each other, forming a pattern in front of her.

They needed to leave. Tonight. Clearly Zuko had some unresolved issues with her, and since he obviously wasn't about to discuss them like a rational adult, she would leave. She wouldn't cause him any more pain. Or let him cause her any more, she thought. She dropped the water back into the river, listening to it rush against the rocks, trying to calm down. It wasn't working.

Especially when she recognized the footsteps marching up behind her.

_Maybe if I stay really still, he'll leave._

Zuko's accusatory voice was loud and marked. "What was that?"

 _Just get him to leave, and you'll be gone by morning. Just make him leave, Katara._ She kept her composure long enough to utter an earnest plea. "I came here to be alone, Zuko. Please leave."

"Don't pretend like you didn't know I'd follow you."

She stood, rounding on him. The moon was bright enough to see him in the darkness. She noticed he'd taken the crown out of his hair, but other than that he looked exactly the same as at dinner. He'd clearly made a similar exit as she had, though he hadn't had half the reason. One plea was all the kindness she had patience for. He'd embarrassed her. He'd cheapened the one moment she'd treasured for six whole months, and for what?

"Don't pretend like you didn't want to follow me! This isn't all my fault. You're angry. You've been angry all night."

"You're damn right I'm angry."

"Why?"

"Because, Katara, just because you find it so easy to jump from my bed into Aang's waiting arms doesn't mean I want to watch you do it."

It was a low blow and it laid Katara out flat. She felt her heart sink and shatter, amazed that he thought so little of her. As if she'd shown up on his doorstep for no other reason than to hurt him.

And then her anger kicked in, the part of her that wanted him to take some responsibility for his obvious actions. He wasn't the only victim here. They'd both done their share of hurting the other.

She gazed at him, noticing the slight twitch in his scarred cheek. There was something off about him. He seemed far too angry for someone who'd greeted her with a fair amount of warmth only a few days before.

"I said I was sorry about visiting when we got here, so can you explain to me how we got from 'It's good to see you' to _this?_ "

Zuko shrugged sarcastically, making a show of it. "I don't know. That was a whole week ago. Maybe I got sick of waiting to actually see you. Not like it took you six months or anything—"

"I stayed away on purpose, Zuko. Because we both made promises to other people, remember? I thought I'd give us the best chance at keeping them."

Zuko snorted derisively at that, brushing past her to stand on the edge of the training floor. Katara turned on him, grabbing him by the shoulder to make him face her.

"Don't act like I'm the only one who's made decisions. I am not the only one with someone else right now. As you so kindly reminded me during dinner tonight, I might add." She invaded his space, pointing an accusatory finger at his chest. "You think I wanted to hear about that, in front of Aang no less?"

She was near shouting now, and Zuko matched her, fueled with just as much frustration as she. "You left, Katara! You don't get to be angry about that!"

"You're right, I did. And then the very next time I see you, you put me in the same bed that you slept with your new girlfriend in? Who does that, Zuko?"

"The very next time? Oh right, how long has it been? Six months, Katara. I assumed you'd be well over it by now, I didn't think it meant so much—"

"You're clearly not over it, so I don't know why it's a surprise to you that I'm not either! You think this was an easy choice for me? I told you I had feelings for you, Zuko. Otherwise we never would have gone so far—"

He was too angry to notice the break in her voice, to see how far he'd already pushed her. "Oh, 'we', is it? I don't remember there being much of 'we' doing anything. I remember 'me' doing something—"

It was the last straw. Tears streamed down her face, and she let her voice break. She was done yelling. She was startlingly quiet, so much so that Zuko had to strain to hear her. "Yes, Zuko. I'm fully aware of what you're talking about, thank you so much for bringing up my moment of weakness again."

Zuko realized how hard he'd pushed, but it was too little too late. He tried to get a hold of himself, to keep his unexplained anger in check and reach out to her. "Katara—"

She wasn't having any of it. She started to walk away from him, her hand in the air giving him permission to continue. "No really, go ahead. Because clearly in a lifetime of trying to always do the right thing and always be respectable, the one time I decide to just do what I want for a second—something, by the way, that I didn't even know I wanted until you decided to introduce me to it, of course you'd use that intimate moment to shame me into apologizing."

He walked in front of her, trying to keep her from leaving. _Again._ "I didn't mean to—"

"Yes you did, Zuko. You meant everything you just said, don't pretend like you didn't." She could barely meet his eyes, as she angrily swatted away her tears, crossing her arms in front of her. Her voice was low as she spoke. "What is wrong, Zuko? Talk to me. Tell me why you're angry with me."

"What are you talking about—"

"You're mad about something specific, but you're not telling me. You're just yelling to make me feel guilty. You'd rather fight than tell me what's really going on."

Zuko couldn't meet her eyes. It scared him how close to home she really was. He didn't know why he was so angry with her. He had a few reasons, sure, but nothing seemed to fit all of it.

She could see he wasn't going to talk to her. Fine then. If it was a fight he wanted, she could give him a fight. She was a Master Waterbender, after all. She channeled her anger into the icy river beside them, sending a cold wave at Zuko with a shout. Zuko was able to dodge it, a blast of fire reducing it to steam that sizzled and clung to them both, making their hair and clothes damp.

He shot her a look, his eyes narrowing. "You didn't."

"Why not? You don't want to talk. You want to fight. So let's fight, Zuko. Try and hit me."

"Katara, I'm not going to—"

She sent an icy blast of water at him again, catching him off guard this time, drenching him head to toe. He wiped his hair from his face, concentrating to contain his anger. With a quick blast of fire he dried himself, flames in his hands, ready to strike. "What is wrong with you?"

"You don't want to talk about it? Fine. We won't talk about it. Fight me back." He still seemed hesitant, like he was trying to keep back the real reasons he was angry. She knew if she could coax him into a fight, she might get him to admit what was really wrong. She launched a water whip at him, missing intentionally to goad him into attacking. "Fight me back!"

This time when she launched an attack, Zuko cut through it with a fireball and a yell, blasting flames into the night sky. Katara continued to push him, raining shards of ice down on him, causing Zuko to dodge with a wall of flame in front of him. It cut off his vision for a moment, and Katara quickly skidded around the flames and back into his sightlines to deliver a blast of water.

Zuko fell with the force of the geyser, and it fueled his anger even more. He sent multiple fireballs her way, amazed at the speed at which she dodged them. Katara spun around, sending a massive blast of water at him; he countered with a torrent of flame, causing a release of steam where they met. They both kept their attacks sustained; Zuko felt his anger bubble over as he yelled above the noise of their fighting.

"You could—have told me—to stop!"

"What?"

"That night! You should've told me to stop!"

 _That's what this is all about?_ Katara strained to get any words out as she tried to hold off Zuko's attack. She had a limited supply of water, but Zuko's anger kept his fire burning hot.

"Really? You think—I was able—to think straight?"

Zuko burned through her attack, barely dodging Katara as she raced around him on sheets of ice. He backed up towards the patio and made a ring of fire around himself, big enough to buy him time to talk. He was winded, but coherent. "Enough to say one little word? Yeah. I think you could have suffered through it."

Katara moved faster than he could see. One moment he was safe within his burning circle, and the next she had him flat against one of the square columns with the force of a geyser, hefty cuffs of water freezing his hands into sheets of ice above him. Zuko panicked as Katara bent away the extra water, glancing above his head to see his arms incapacitated, completely unable to move. He tried to burn through the ice, but he couldn't generate enough heat. Katara stood inches from his face, her voice low and full of warning.

"You act like you made it so easy for me, but you didn't. You want to put all the blame on me so you don't have to think about how much you wanted me to stay. Because if it's all my fault, you're blameless. You're the victim, and you can do whatever you want because I'm the monster who left you there."

He was embarrassed by how close to the truth she was. It was easier to blame her for leaving than to look at how much he'd cared about her. Pain made more sense to him than love. Pain he could deal with. Love, even the prospect of love…it made him uncomfortably nervous. Vulnerable. He didn't care for it.

He struggled against her bonds, pushing the thoughts from his head. "It doesn't change the facts, Katara. You left. Even after I brought you pleasure, even after I proved to you how much you wanted to stay, you left."

Katara was taken aback. "You proved? What did you prove, Zuko? That you know what you're doing? You didn't say one word about wanting me to stay until I was halfway out the door." She was right, but he still didn't like hearing it. She was peeling back all his excuses and revealing the sensitive truth: he'd had deeper feelings than he'd been able to admit, and he regretted that he hadn't said anything. And the thought that it could have changed things made him mad.

She could see it in his eyes, but he still refused to say anything. His stubbornness was getting to her. He had no idea what position he'd put her in by making her feel…all those things. She doubted he'd ever been truly powerless like that. It gave her an idea, a fiendish idea that under normal circumstances would seem ridiculous, but Katara was just angry and hurt enough to let him have a taste of his own medicine. He thought it was so easy to stop?

She took a step closer to him, invading his personal space. "You think I don't know because I've never had sex. You think I don't know the effect women can have on men, too. I'm not stupid, Zuko. I helped deliver plenty of children back home; I've talked to many wives, and I know what they do to get their way. You're not the only one with a bag of tricks." She looked him up and down, letting her eyes linger just long enough so he'd see it coming. She could tell from the widening of his eyes that he understood her.

Zuko saw the change in her demeanor, the seeming confidence, her dominating stance, and it sobered him. She couldn't really mean…

Her eyes glinted in the moonlight; it sent a shiver down his spine. He visibly swallowed against a dry throat as she spoke. "Let's see how you do, then. Let's make _you_ the vulnerable one for a change, and you can tell me how easy it is to say no."

"Katara, what are you…ah…!" She had his pants around his ankles and her hand fully encircling him before he could finish his sentence. Zuko heard himself make an embarrassingly loud noise, a mixture of surprise and pleasure that salved Katara's wounded pride.

He wanted to kiss that confident smile off her face; he knew he could do it. But no matter how he struggled against her bonds, she stayed just out of reach. To have her at once so close and so far away…it stretched his patience thin. This wasn't about love or tender feelings. This wasn't the beginning of anything new. It was a continuation. Katara was leveling their playing field, trying to coax the truth out of him, one sensual stroke at a time. A voice in the back of his head wondered if that was such a bad thing. _If this is how she wants to fight, I am fine with that. ___

She mimicked the path he'd scorched on her memory, kissing down his neck the way he had as she slowly stroked him. Her grip was firm as she worked him; Zuko saw spots every time she repeated the motion, her speed just fast enough to make him feel it, just slow enough to drive him insane.

She kissed down his chest, pulling his shirt open with one tug. She placed a special kiss directly over his burn, feeling the muscles in his stomach twitch beneath her lips. She hadn't expected to feel so powerful, to enjoy this as much as he seemed to be. She'd only wanted to teach him a lesson. And from what she could tell, Zuko was a quick learner.

The lower she kissed, the less he could believe this was actually happening. He felt terribly conflicted, knowing she was only doing this to get at him, but he was completely unable to make her stop. That's all it would take. He just had to make her stop that sensuous, hypnotizing rhythm she was building…just make her loosen her hand so he didn't gain so much pleasure from thrusting into her grip…just tell her to stop before she kissed any lower and—

 _Agni._ There was no going back now.

Katara's hot mouth was around him, swirling and sucking him to an incoherent writhing mass of pleasure. She felt his surrender, knowing she had won. She felt it in his struggled moans, the way his hand fisted in her hair. The thought made her look up—Zuko had apparently freed one of his hands from the ice, but he didn't even seem to notice. She bobbed her head, her tongue tracing patterns as she swirled; she recognized her name amidst his strangled groans.

She understood his smugness from that night a bit better now. Having this much power over someone was bound to put a spring in anyone's step. Her newfound confidence was going to her head; she smirked as she took his member in her hand once more, kissing a path back up his chest, repeating his words back to him. "Relax, Zuko. Just let it happen."

He groaned, but he was in no position to stop her. Katara called water to her other hand, simultaneously stroking Zuko. She warmed it to a comfortable heat, then transferred the water to the hand wrapped around him. She created a tide that pulled when she pulled, pushed when she pushed, and she could tell by his breathing he was near an end. She pressed her body against him as she stroked, and Zuko cried out into the darkness, his eyes slammed shut in blissful agony as he came. She covered his mouth with hers, finally kissing him in an attempt to quiet his moans. She felt him collapse against the column, the ice around his other hand melting to let his arm drop by his side. Katara sent the water to the ground, creating a wet patch several feet from them. She set his pants to rights and pressed herself against his heaving chest, gently kissing the curve of his neck as she waited for coherent thought to return to him.

Katara's warm mouth on his neck was doing nothing to calm him. She felt a hand run down her bare back, an arm looping around her exposed waist. She looked up at him, pleased to see he still seemed a bit shaken.

His voice was deep and raspy. "You done proving your point?"

"I think we both know I am."

"Good."

He flipped their positions, trapping her body between his and the column, covering her mouth in a possessive kiss. _You're going to pay for that, Katara._

If this was her punishment, she would take it gladly. She surrendered herself to his ministrations, the greedy way he took her lips, his tongue plundering her mouth. His hurried hand slipped inside her top, caressing her breasts through her bindings in a way that made her yearn. She couldn't hold back a breathy moan; it was music to his ears. He didn't realize how much he'd missed that sound.

Her hands tangled in his hair, needing to be closer to him. He pulled her lower lip between his teeth, biting until she sighed with pleasure. It made her want him. Spirits, but he was good at making her want him. His hand left her breasts and reached up to cup her cheek, his hands framed her face as he kissed her slowly. Passionately. In a way that stoked something very deep in Katara, in a place only Zuko had been before.

He pulled away too soon for her liking, resting his forehead against hers. His breath was heavy as he spoke. "I was angry…because I've never cared that much about anyone. And I really wanted you to stay."

Katara tried for a deep breath, but shallow gulps were the best she got. Her hands rested on his shoulders, she smoothed them along the lines of his open shirt. "I didn't know. You should've told me."

 _Agni, this is hard._ But he had to know the answer. "Would it've changed your mind?"

"I don't know. Maybe." Katara hated to see the look her answer gave him, but he deserved honesty at this point. His tortured eyes slipped closed as he pulled her to him, catching her mouth with his. His kiss was full of regret and unrequited passion. His tongue gently stroked hers, exploring the cavern of her mouth almost leisurely, like he was committing it to memory. His hand slipped down her bare midriff and passed the waist of her pants. She felt it slip beneath her undergarments and against the most intimate part of her, the part of her that was wet and waiting for him.

She arched into his hand, mewling as he stroked her. She pulled away from his kiss, her hand supporting herself with a vice grip on his neck as she moved with him. He was making it hard to think, but she took his advice and suffered through it. She owed him this. "For what it's worth…I'm sorry."

His throaty voice was at her ear. "Don't be. How could you have known?"

She shook her head vigorously, her breath catching as he rubbed her. "I should've…I should've known. Because I felt it, too."

Her confession added fuel to their fire. This was going to change things and they both knew it. They just didn't know how.

Zuko stroked her in earnest, tonguing her neck as she rode his hand. She hitched her leg over his hip; his arm was pressed firmly against the column, supporting their weight. Katara's head fell to his shoulder as she felt it, that delicious coiling of something about to snap, the tension reaching down to her toes and back again. "Zuko, I'm…I'm shaking…"

"I know."

"Don't stop."

"I won't."

He kept his promise, rubbing her furiously until bright lights exploded behind her eyelids; he greedily caught her moans with a kiss, drinking them in as she came. When it was over he slowly removed his hand; even in her post-orgasmic haze, Katara thought to bend water over his hand to clean it, casting it aside afterward. Zuko breathed a laugh. There were apparently serious advantages to being a Waterbender when it came to sex. He pulled her in for another kiss when they both heard something that made their hearts drop.

The soft pattern of footsteps on the path from the palace echoed in their ears. Katara froze, absolutely paralyzed with fear. _What if it's Aang? Or Mai? Or Iroh? Spirits, what have I done?_

Zuko was no less terrified, but he kept his head. He whispered hastily in her ear. "The patio goes through to the other side of the building. Run through it and it will take you on another path to the palace."

Katara hesitated only for a moment, their eyes locking in a fearful stare. Zuko reiterated his haste. "Go. Now."

Fear gave her stealth and speed she didn't know she had. Darting in and out of the columns, she searched for the path Zuko had mentioned. _Why does it have to be so dark?_

Zuko quickly tied his shirt, hoping he looked somewhat presentable. He turned towards the path, bracing himself for the worst.

It was only a servant, with what looked to be supplies of some sort in his hands. He was rightfully nervous when he saw who was standing in front of him. "Fire Lord Zuko! I'm sorry, I saw some huge bursts of flames over here from the palace, and then something that looked like smoke. I was afraid the training arena was on fire."

Zuko exhaled and turned away from the servant. "I was practicing my bending. Everything's fine. Go back inside."

"Yes, Fire Lord Zuko. Sorry to disrupt."

Zuko went over a few Fire bending techniques on the matted floor, hoping the servant would buy his story if he saw him training. He continued that way for a few minutes, until he was certain the servant was gone. Zuko ducked back inside the patio, conjuring up a flame to help him search. "Katara?"

No answer. She was gone.

* * *

Even though it was what he'd told her to do, he felt disappointed. The night had gone in so many different directions, he wasn't sure which way was up anymore. One thing was for certain. They both had underestimated the power of their feelings for each other all those months ago. He wouldn't make the same mistake twice. He needed to figure out what he really felt for her so he could tell her. And from there, they'd have to figure it out.

Zuko marched back to the palace, intent on a cold, cold bath. If he had any hope of sleep tonight, he was going to need it. He opened the door to his room and closed it behind him, untying the fabric at his waist as he turned around.

Mai was sitting on the edge of his bed, a contemplative, inquisitive look on her face. Her voice was surprisingly flat and calm. She could have been discussing the weather.

"How long have you been in love with Katara?"


	6. In a Perfect World

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At the end of this chapter you'll find a fairly extensive AN with a couple of reasons for why I did what I did in this chapter. I only included it because I really struggled with where I wanted it to go, so I wanted you to be able to see my thought process a bit. I dunno. I guess this is where I say it makes sense to me and it's my story so ha. Or something like that.
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy this next chapter!

Katara slipped into the palace, now grateful for the cover of night, thanking whatever spirits she could think of that she made it back to her room undetected. She slid the door closed, not even lighting the torches in the room. She wanted it to be dark. She could barely even look at herself in the mirror. One terrifying thought was pulsing through her mind, radiating throughout her veins with every pump of her heart.

_What the hell have I done?_

She had no idea who it was on the path, or what Zuko told them, or Spirits forbid, what they saw. Even what they heard could be bad enough. Neither of them were particularly quiet during their…argument.

Katara felt the minutes slip by as she paced around her room. His room. This room. She couldn't escape him, or the enormity of it all.

She'd broken Aang's trust. She was unfaithful. Untrue. A betrayer.

This was the worst thing she'd ever done. When she'd been with Zuko before, she wasn't attached to anyone. The only promises she'd made were to herself. But now…she'd let herself get caught up in the heat and the passion, and she was bringing Aang down with her. Maybe even the tenuous peace they'd fought so hard for. If Aang found out…what if he refused to work with Zuko? What if he left again? The Fire Nation would never be able to rebuild without the Avatar. Could she really have condemned the entire Fire Nation because she had to prove a point?

She shook the thoughts from her head, trying to keep her breathing steady. _I'm losing my mind. Keep it together, Katara._ She exhaled in frustration, hands fisted in her hair. _Where the hell is Zuko?_

Katara kept glancing at the door, expecting him to come in and tell her what happened so they could figure out what to do. She didn't relish the idea of lying, but if they were going to do it, they'd better get their stories straight.

She sat on the bed, trying to stay calm. Pacing in circles wasn't going to get him there any faster. She propped some pillows up against the headboard, leaning against them and staring at the door, arms crossed to keep them from shaking.

She'd wait as long as it took. _He'll be here. I'm sure of it._

* * *

"How long have you been in love with Katara?"

She repeated her question, her voice even as ever. Zuko felt his heart plummet; he was sure he heard a thunk as it hit the bottom of his stomach. This was not the time to have this conversation. He hadn't expected to see Mai until morning, when he and Katara had figured out…something. He wasn't ready for this.

He tried to deflect, thoroughly aware he was doing a terrible job of it. "What are you—I'm not in love with—Mai, where is this coming from?"

She crossed her legs, taking her eyes off Zuko to stare at a burning torch on the wall. She watched the flames dance, focusing on the fire to keep herself calm. "I'm not mad, Zuko. I'm not even sad. Maybe it'll hit me later, but I'm not. It just all makes sense now."

Zuko took a step closer to her, still afraid to get too close. "What makes sense?"

She shrugged. "All of it. The distance. The endless meetings. Why I barely see you anymore. Not to mention how on edge you've been ever since she got here." Mai turned to face him, the smallest twinge of sorrow in her eyes. "I just don't understand why you didn't tell me."

"There's nothing to tell." Zuko was trying to cling to the lies, trying desperately to get out of this conversation without admitting anything to Mai. He was still too confused, too wound up, too...everything.

Mai stood from his bed, walking away from him at a measured pace. She leaned against the wall, underneath the torch, arms crossed. "You're lucky that Aang is too in love with her to notice. But I'm not stupid, Zuko. You're not getting out of this." She levied an attempt at humor, but there was a dark promise hidden within it that Zuko understood. "You should be glad I haven't pinned you to the wall with my blades. The least you can do is be honest with me."

Zuko crossed the room, fully aware she was right. There was no getting out of this. It was time to talk. He sat on the edge of the bed, head in his hands. He had no words, no idea how to say these things to her. It would be so much easier if she were mad. This cool composure was more than he could take.

Mai crossed to him and sat, leaving some space between them. "You never told me about your time with the Avatar. I never asked, so you never told me. So tell me now. What happened with Katara?"

Zuko was surprised at her insight, but he should've expected it. Mai was a warrior, but more than that she was an observer, just like him. She could size up an enemy before they'd had a chance to blink. It shouldn't be a surprise that she saw right through him, too. Zuko sighed. He'd never meant for things to go so far with Katara that night. It left him lost. Without answers. Answers that Mai truly deserved.

He rubbed his face, eyes focused on a spot on the floor. "I don't know what to tell you, Mai. The answers you want…they're answers I haven't gotten."

"So tell me what you do know."

His lips were tightly pursed, his brows furrowed, trying to find a way to say what he hadn't had time to think through. "I know that I had feelings for her, feelings that didn't go away after the end of the war. And she apparently had feelings for me, too. But she chose Aang, and I chose you, and I thought that would be the end of it," he glanced up at Mai, a tear forming in his eye, "I really wanted to be happy with you, Mai. I wanted it to be enough."

"Keep talking."

He couldn't read her emotionless face. There was something brewing under the surface, but he didn't recognize it. So he did as she asked, hoping it was the right thing to do.

"I knew the day would come when I'd have to see her again. I thought that I'd have some kind of warning, or it would be with everyone from those days. But she showed up out of nowhere and…I wasn't even close to ready for her. Seeing her is so much different. I thought I could forget, but I was wrong."

"Did you fuck her?"

Her abrupt comment shook him, gave him pause. He turned to see her eyes closed, holding back that unnamed emotion. "No, I didn't."

"And if the servant I sent hadn't stopped you? Would your answer be the same?"

Zuko felt his temper flare at this revelation, but he held it in. He knew he was in the wrong; he had no right to start pointing fingers, even if Mai had used his own staff against him. But it still burned. Because if the servant hadn't showed up, Zuko knew his answer would be different. Without a doubt. He hung his head in a deep sigh. It was all the confirmation she needed.

Mai stood, her voice low with anger. It was starting to hit, it seemed. Her emotions were catching up with the facts. But what she said was not at all what Zuko expected.

"You are so full of shit, Zuko. You jump in front of Azula's lightning for this girl, but you can't admit that you're in love with her. And you don't have the courage to tell me, so you let me walk around like an idiot all this time. We may have had our hard times, Zuko, but that doesn't give you the right to make me play the fool. I won't do it."

"I know. You're right. And I'm sorry. I don't know if it means anything, but I'm sorry."

It seemed that was all the fury Mai could muster. The rest of her was too tired from guessing, too exhausted from trying to figure out what she was doing wrong. Because it wasn't about her. None of it was. It was about them. She sat back down, mimicking Zuko's posture, content to stare at the floor.

Zuko glanced over at her. She looked defeated. Like she'd been searching for an answer, and while she was glad to finally have it, he knew the truth was hard to swallow. Her voice was soft, barely audible. "I just really thought we could make it work this time."

Zuko nodded his head, reaching for her hand across the space between them. "We did once. And I wouldn't trade those times for anything," he looked at their joined hands, real regret filling his eyes, "But you're right. I haven't been fair to you, Mai. Not for a long time. And I'm sorry."

Mai glanced at their physical contact, a long sigh escaping her. "So what happens now?"

Zuko didn't answer her. She had a feeling he didn't know. She shook her head. Despite everything he'd done to her, all the lies and the avoidance, she felt a certain kind of tenderness for him. Seeing Zuko in pain was difficult for her, it always had been. She raised her hand to his face, hoping to calm him, cupping his scarred cheek in her palm. They were both surprised at how he flinched away. It left an awkward silence between them.

Mai looked away, embarrassed. "I'm sorry. I didn't know your scar was so sensitive."

Zuko looked out onto the room, his mind fraught with too many thoughts to explain. He squeezed Mai's hand in his own, rubbing his thumb across her knuckles tenderly. "More than you know."

* * *

Katara was roused with the dawn, the sunlight warming her face. She was slouched over, but her arms were still loosely crossed against her chest. She was still propped up against the pillows, facing the door. She must've nodded off at some point in the night. But the more important fact was that she was still alone.

_He didn't come._

Apparently this wasn't something they would get to talk about. For one reason or another, she was alone. If Zuko didn't come, it meant that someone important was on the path last night. It meant that someone else knew.

And that meant she and Aang needed to be out of the Fire Nation by nightfall.

She quickly changed into her blue dress, doing her hair up like a true Water Tribe girl. She couldn't be sloppy. She couldn't risk someone asking why she didn't look so well. She needed to be as normal as possible, for a few hours more. And then they'd be out of there, and they'd never have to bother Zuko again.

Avoiding people again would be difficult. Most of the palace had caught onto her routine. And at some point she had to figure out how to hurry Aang along, all without the solace of the training arena. Her sanctuary was lost.

Fine then. There was still plenty of the palace she hadn't explored yet. And if she stayed on the move, it was less likely for someone to find her. With what she hoped was a calming breath, Katara closed the door behind her, heading down a hall she'd never explored before, hoping to waste the day away.

* * *

This was _not_ the day to be stuck in meetings. If it were any other meeting, Zuko would've cancelled, but these ambassadors had travelled for weeks to see him and update him on…something. He honestly couldn't remember what they'd been talking about all morning. He couldn't stop thinking about Katara. The first time she so much as touches him in six months and that's the first move she makes? It was more aggressive than he'd expected. It surprised him. Maybe he wasn't the only one who wished she'd stayed that night, who relived it over and over, and pictured what it would've been like to have her naked and writhing beneath him—

"Fire Lord Zuko, are you well?"

His uncle's words snapped him out of his own thoughts. He pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers, somewhat ashamed at where his thoughts had gone. It wasn't just the physical that he was picturing. Thinking of Katara like that…it had an emotional connection to it. It stoked something deep inside him. Something he wasn't ready to name.

The meeting came to a halt at Iroh's words, all eyes falling on Zuko. This was not a time to show weakness. "I'm fine."

"Perhaps a short break would do us all well."

There seemed to be a general consensus from the Council, and Zuko could sure use it. He looked at his uncle gratefully before addressing the room. "We'll meet back here in half an hour."

The room started to clear as Iroh stood, helping his nephew to his feet. "I'll make us some tea. You should find a way to clear your mind."

"Unfortunately, I don't think that's going to happen, Uncle."

"Perhaps you should not spend this recess alone, nephew. Friends can have a very comforting effect, especially ones who have been gone so long."

Zuko eyed his Uncle, catching the smallest gleam in his eyes. He didn't know anything, but he suspected. Regardless, he was right. He had to find Katara if this meeting was going to be any semblance of productive. It wasn't just the daydreams that were distracting him. He'd spent too much of the night with Mai, apologizing and explaining, that by the time they were done, all Zuko could think of was sleep. He had no idea where they stood, if she was still with Aang, if she was going to leave him, if they were going to be together, if…anything.

He started his search in her room, but she wasn't there. Nor was she in the dining room, the kitchens, or the training arena. He was running short on time, and he needed to find her fast. He would be needed back in the Council chambers any minute now. Resigned to his defeat, he started the trek back to the meeting when he caught a glimpse of something darting towards the double doors at the end of the hall. He narrowed his eyes, focusing in on a shadowy figure. He watched as it opened the double doors, letting in the sunlight from the balcony. He watched as the sunlight lit up her hair in a fiery halo, her blue eyes wide as she scanned. He felt a small warmth grow in his chest. _Found you._

The doors stayed open behind her. She didn't seem aware of his presence. It wasn't a part of the palace he'd seen her in before—it was probably an intentional move on her part. If she couldn't be found, she wouldn't have to talk to anyone. Which was good, seeing as neither of them had any answers yet.

She had her arms stretched out on either side of her, leaning on the balcony. It reminded him of a different time on a different balcony. Where she'd made a different choice.

This time, he didn't keep any respectable distance. He almost didn't care if anyone saw. Almost. He silently closed the double doors that led to the hallway behind him, placing his hands on either side of hers, trapping her body between his and the railing.

He felt her sharp intake of breath against his chest. Her voice was shaking. "Zuko, what are you doing?"

"We have to talk about it, Katara. Tonight."

"But how—"

"I'll find you." He moved his hands on top of hers, lacing their fingers together. He felt her lean back against him, ever so slightly; he dropped his head to her shoulder, pressing a short kiss to the golden skin at her neck. His whisper was thick with emotion, but it carried the weight of a command, heavy in her ear. "Don't leave before we talk about last night."

She closed her eyes against the sensation that rushed through her at his words. He knew exactly what she was planning. He always did. Katara nodded, turning her head towards him. He lifted his head from her shoulder, their lips a breath apart. A noise from inside made them start; Katara turned away and Zuko stepped back, towards the doors.

"Have an early dinner, and I'll find you when everyone else is eating."

Katara watched him leave, heart beating out of her chest. The thought of being alone with Zuko again…it thrilled and terrified her at the same time. _At least I'll have some answers. And we can figure out what the hell any of this means._

* * *

Katara did as Zuko instructed, scavenging some food very quickly to continue avoiding Aang. She felt like a bandit. A thief. Every servant she passed stopped her, relaying some version of "Avatar Aang is looking for you," and though she thanked each one sincerely, she never did send any messages back.

She managed to make it back to her room without incident. She closed the door and rested against it, eyes closed against the guilt. She hated feeling like this. Logically, she knew what she was doing was wrong, but when it came to Zuko…the rules didn't apply anymore. It was like no one else existed. Somehow the wrongs she'd caused him felt so much more important than anything else…than anyone else. She stepped across the room, pulling the curtain aside to look out the window, hoping Zuko wouldn't take too long. Aang always fed Appa before going to dinner himself. At best that gave them half an hour for a conversation that was six months in the making. _More than that, if we're honest._

She heard the slide of the door behind her and quickly turned, a small gasp escaping her lips. Zuko stood in the center of the room, eyes trained on hers.

"You scared me."

"Sorry."

Katara felt a strong urge to go to him, the need to be caught in his arms almost overwhelming her senses. But she held her ground, ignoring the ache in her chest. He was so close, only a few steps to reach him…but he was the furthest away he'd ever been. She knew this couldn't be a physical encounter. This wasn't how she wanted to start—or end—anything. _How did everything get so messed up?_

Zuko didn't know how to start. He cleared his throat nervously, trying not to stare. "So…have you talked to—"

"No, I haven't. I didn't know how to tell him. Or what, for that matter."

Zuko nodded in agreement. Katara shifted her weight, resisting the urge to play with her hair. "And did you—?"

"Mai knows. Not everything, but most of it. The important parts."

Her eyes narrowed. "What are the important parts?"

Even alone with her, with no one else to hear, he couldn't say it. Something about this moment was wrong. He didn't want this to be the way he first said those words. He didn't want it to sound like some plea to make her stay. He talked around it as best he could. "I told her that we had feelings for each other."

"You did?"

"She asked for the truth. So I gave it to her."

Katara felt the heat of a blush rising quickly in her cheeks. A small sweat broke on her brow. The room was too warm—this whole country was too warm. And the look he was giving her wasn't helping in the slightest. Zuko continued speaking, looking somewhat desperate for confirmation. "Was I right? That this is mutual?"

"You know it is, Zuko. But that doesn't make it right, none of this is right," she gestured at the space between them, channeling the frustration she felt at herself. "This was wrong, I shouldn't—we shouldn't have done…this, any of this. Not when we're both with other people."

"The timing was wrong, yes. And that's both of our faults. But I don't regret it. Maybe I should, but I don't."

Katara's blush grew hotter with embarrassment. "I do. I regret it. I should never have…you know…"

Zuko laughed despite himself, trying to make her feel more comfortable discussing their intimacy. "Don't you dare apologize for that, that was…I mean you were—"

"So were you."

They shared a brief smile, each of them lost in memories from the previous night. Zuko took a step closer to her, continuing their conversation in a more serious vein.

"You know, you didn't have to do that."

"I know I didn't." She felt her eyes well with shame as she admitted, "I wanted to. I wanted to be close to you."

"Then why do you sound so sad about it?"

"I don't know, okay? I don't know what came over me, I felt bold and I just…really needed to put you in your place for once." He smirked at her, and she returned it with a small half-smile, amazed she could smile at all with the amount of thoughts running circles in her head. She closed her eyes, turning away from him to toy with the curtains. "I had no idea that all those feelings would come back the moment I touched you."

Zuko took the risk, invading her personal space, but not holding her, not yet. He stood behind her and bowed his head to speak, lowering his mouth to her ear to whisper. "If it helps, I've never felt like that before. You did more than make your point, Katara."

His hot breath on her neck made her shudder. Her voice betrayed her arousal, but her words were firm. "It doesn't matter. We have to be realistic."

"What do you mean?"

"It wouldn't work, Zuko. We wouldn't work together. The world still needs Aang, and it needs you and Aang to work as a team."

Zuko had never liked being told what he wanted was impossible, but it had never burned as badly as this. His voice was rough with emotion. "I will rebuild every house in the Fire Nation by myself if that's what it takes. I don't care."

"But you have to, Zuko. That's what it means to be Fire Lord."

She was right. Again. And he hated it. Again. _Why does she always have to be right?_ His people needed the Avatar if they could ever hope to live down the shame of the war. Still, he was close enough to feel the heat radiating off her body, to smell the scent of her hair that was purely _Katara_ …he couldn't resist. This could be the last time he saw her for who knows how long. She had that look. The look that meant she was ready to run.

He ran the back of his finger down the side of her neck, gliding the rest of his hand over her shoulder as he continued the movement. He watched her shudder, but she stayed still, her body still facing away from him. He slowly slid his arms around her waist, pulling her against him. The curtain dropped from her hand. Her breath hitched. He moved the hair from her neck and kissed over her pulse; the heat of his mouth was too much to bear. If he didn't stop soon, she wouldn't be able to make him; she'd agree to whatever he said.

"Zuko, please."

"I don't understand you, Katara. You tell me you don't want me, but your body shivers when I touch you. You press against me as you tell me no," she felt his hand on her stomach curl, pulling the edge of her dress into his grip. Even with the fabric between them, she keenly felt the heat of his caress. "Do you really want to be with him?"

She knew the answer as soon as he asked the question, an answer that had taken her six months to learn. "No. I don't. And I know that now." She pulled away from his backward embrace long enough to face him, resting her arms on his chest to keep some distance between them. "I'm not saying I want to be a martyr, Zuko. I know I don't have to be with Aang, and when I figure out how to have that conversation with him, I will." Katara finally met Zuko's eyes, willing him to understand. "I'm saying that even if I'm not with Aang…I can't be with you, either."

 _That_ he did not expect. He tried to keep his voice clear. "Why not?"

"Because we're not just a bunch of kids saving the world anymore! We're growing up. You're the _Fire Lord_. You're the leader of a whole nation and whoever you're with is going to have major responsibilities here. Possibly even the title of Fire Lady. You really think your Council is going to let that spot be taken by some peasant from the Southern Water Tribe?"

Zuko was taken aback by her harsh description. It was like she didn't see herself at all. "They might let it go to a Master Waterbender who helped save the entire world. Stop hiding behind excuses, Katara. You're afraid."

"I'm not afraid," the hands pressed against his chest toyed with his collar, fumbling so she didn't have to look at him. "I just don't need anything else to regret."

Zuko lifted her chin, his eyes burning into her. "Not regret. Remember," he brushed a tendril of hair from her face, smoothing it behind her ear. "This, I want you to remember."

His hand tangled in her hair and dragged her mouth to his. She was powerless to stop him. Her hands fisted in the front of his robes as she opened her mouth to him, sighing at the gentle caress of his tongue. His other arm wrapped around her back, pressing her body firmly against his. She slid her hands around his neck, then up into his hair. She wanted it loose and flowing through her fingers, but it was up in its regular knot, his crown proudly set in the top of it. She pulled it from its bindings, tossing it to the bed. The symbolism was not lost on her, but she didn't care. In this room, in this moment, he was hers. Zuko, the boy in the cave, not the man at the head of a nation.

Zuko walked her backwards until she was pressed against the wall, caressing her breasts through her dress. She groaned into his kiss, lightly biting the inside of his lower lip. She felt him press his arousal against her in response—she felt powerful knowing she could make him feel like this with nothing but her kisses. She hiked a leg over his hip and he caught her thigh, his hand sneaking under her skirt, reveling in the feel of flesh.

He broke their kiss, running his hand along the length of her leg, watching the trail of gooseflesh he left in his wake. He stole a quick kiss before he spoke, slightly out of breath. "I'm tired of you being right, Katara. I'm tired of excuses and reasons why we shouldn't be together. Because I want this. And so do you."

"Zuko, I—"

"You can't lie to me, not when we're like this. I know you still want me. I could take you right here, right now," he ground his hips into hers, relishing the surprised moan that told him he was right. "I can feel that you want me to. So don't lie to me." He pressed a hot kiss to her lips, molding her mouth to his.

He was right and she knew it, but it wasn't a question of wanting. She wanted plenty. She just had the sneaking suspicion that it wouldn't be as easy as Zuko thought. When he pulled away again, she moaned in protest. But he held firm, wanting her to understand.

"We won this war, Katara. I promised to make a new world of love and peace. That world can look however we want it to. So tell me now. If you could do it all over again…in a perfect world, if you could have anything you wanted, where would you be? Off by yourself, exploring the world? With someone else? Or would you be here, with me?"

Katara didn't know what to say. She knew what she wanted to say, what he wanted her to say…but what would that admission cost her? Would admitting she was falling in love with him really make that much of a difference?

A gentle knock at the door broke their staring match. Katara glanced at it with wide eyes, then back to Zuko. He was still pressed against her, his arm supporting her leg, and it didn't look like he planned to move. His voice was low and urgent. "Answer me."

"Zuko, that could be anyone—"

"I don't care, answer me."

The knock was more insistent this time, and she recognized the voice at the door as it spoke. "Katara, it's me. We got a letter from Sokka. It's marked urgent."

 _Aang._ She broke free of Zuko's grasp and moved for the door. Frustrated to have to hide in his own palace, Zuko snatched his crown from the bed and leaned against the same wall as the door, hoping to escape detection. Katara opened the door and closed it behind her, stepping into the hallway to see the young monk in front of her. The worried look on his face was disconcerting. Alarm was evident in her voice. "Urgent? From Sokka?"

"Yeah, it's his messenger hawk. I didn't read it yet, I waited for you."

"Where is it?"

"I was feeding Appa in the stables when it found me. It's still there. Come on."

If Sokka could be serious enough to send an urgent message, it must be something important. She followed Aang without question, almost breaking into a run as soon as the stables were in sight.

The bird squawked as she entered the stable, jumping to land on a fencepost near her. She carefully removed the scroll from the bird, unrolling it with a fearful heart.

_Katara,_

_I don't know where you and Aang are, but you have to come home. Suki and I are already on our way. It's Gran-Gran. She's really sick and no one knows what to do. Pakku is trying to get healers from the Northern Water Tribe to come out to her, but by the time they get the message and make the trip it might be too late. We need you._

_Send a message back so I know you got this. We'll see you soon._

_Sokka_

The letter fell from her trembling hands. Her throat felt dry, her vision spinning. Somewhere she heard Aang ask what was wrong. Tears streamed down her face.

"It's Gran-Gran."

That was all she could say. Aang picked the letter from the ground and scanned it quickly, taking charge. "We have to go. Now. Meet me back here in five minutes with your stuff, Katara. If we leave anything behind, Zuko can send it after us. Okay?"

She was still in a daze; she felt the world tilt beneath her feet as the news sunk in. She didn't answer him. He reached up and touched her cheek, forcing her to look at him. "Katara."

"Yes?"

He looked straight into her eyes, speaking slowly so she would understand. "Go and get your things. I'll take care of writing Sokka and everything else, okay?"

She nodded, running back towards the palace. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Zuko on the steps, but she didn't pause, not even for him. Gran-Gran needed her. Nothing else mattered.

Aang jogged up behind her, Sokka's bird on his shoulder, the letter clasped in his hand. Unlike Katara, he stopped in front of Zuko to explain, his face urgent. "Do you have some paper? It's important."

* * *

Katara raced around the room, amazed at how much she'd spread out in the past week. She threw her things haphazardly into her pack, not even sure of what all she'd even brought. She threw the pack over her shoulder and took one final look at the room, and then it hit her. This could be the last time she saw this room. She had no reason to ever come back here. There was nothing technically tying her to this place. Aang probably wouldn't need to see Zuko for at least another six months, maybe longer. And Zuko would be busy with meetings, and even though they hadn't talked about her, Katara assumed that Mai would be here with him…it was the same issue all over again. She had to leave, whether she liked it or not.

But this time was different. She'd learned her lesson. She wouldn't make the same mistake again, not if she could help it.

Katara threw her pack open on the bed and rummaged for a scrap of paper and a bottle of ink. She'd left him without answers before. If she had to leave again, this was the least she could do.

* * *

Zuko understood Katara's haste as Aang explained, but it didn't make it any easier. He'd been so close, so close to finally getting Katara to admit everything…he couldn't even think about it. This was not the time to get caught up in his own emotions. She needed to go, and she needed him to let her.

Aang had everything loaded onto Appa when Katara arrived at the courtyard. She appeared to be filling Iroh in on her situation; Zuko caught snatches of his uncle's sympathies as they approached. Iroh started the farewells, wrapping Katara in a warm embrace. "Be well, Katara. May your skills bring comfort to your grandmother and your whole family."

"Thank you. I just hope we get there in time." Katara's eyes darted to Zuko, but she had nothing left to say. Her mind was too overrun with worry to know what she should tell him. She looked into his eyes and saw that he understood.

"Go. Be with your family."

She nodded, heading for Appa, not even waiting to hear Aang's goodbyes. Everything around her was still hazy, like she was caught in the trance of a fitful sleep. Before she knew it Aang had the reins in his hands and they were vaulting up into the clouds, headed for home.

Zuko watched them go, knowing a part of his heart left with her. He felt his uncle's measured stare settle on his shoulders, but he had no explanation. This wasn't something he could share, because he knew there was no solution other than this. It was simple. Her family needed her, so she left. His question would remain unanswered.

"She requested I give this to you once she left."

Zuko turned to face Iroh to find his arm outstretched, a folded piece of parchment in his hand. Zuko took it and opened it slowly, ensuring no one could see it but him.

Inside he found two words, scrawled in loopy cursive.

_With you._

He felt the ball of emotion in his chest rise in his throat; tears threatened at his eyes as he stared. He refolded the note, keeping careful control of his breathing as his uncle sighed. Iroh looked skyward, his eyes lingering at the fading dot that was Appa.

"Sometimes in matters of the heart, we must let the ones we love go from us. To see if they return."

Choosing not to object to his uncle's insinuations, Zuko responded honestly. "I did. And she did."

"Then you must trust that she will again. When she can. When she is free of her other obligations."

Iroh gave Zuko a look that told him what he meant. More than her duty to her family. More than her needing to help her grandmother. If she was to return to him, she would need to be free of her obligations to Aang. She would have to end things with him if they were to have a real chance at happiness.

Zuko looked down at the scrap of paper in his hands, her hurried cursive forever burned into his memory. "She better."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Goodness me, that scene took forever to write. I tried like four different bedroom scenes before I found one I liked. Now that you've read it, if you'll allow me to address what I'm sure are the main things you're feeling:
> 
> 1) Do we know if Zuko and Mai are still technically together? No. You don't. That's intentional.
> 
> 2) Is Katara really going to end things with Aang? You'll have to see, won't you?
> 
> 3) WHY DON'T THEY JUST BONE ALREADY? Because I really don't think Katara could do that right now in good conscience. Time restraints aside (because let's be real, these two are pretty much bursting at the seams for each other, so they're gonna be a wee bit insatiable once they get started), I don't think Katara would be able to have sex with Zuko and then pretend like everything is fine with Aang. Right now, they're both attached to other people. And Mai interrupted them the first time, and Aang the second. It's a constant reminder to the two of them what their first mistakes of not admitting their feelings have cost them.
> 
> 4) Why call Katara away again? Why not just end it there in the Fire Nation? I think they both need to deal with the realities of what it would take to be together. Zuko needs to realize that Katara's fears are well founded, and Katara needs to realize how much she cares about Zuko so that dealing with all the political backlash will seem worth it. Also, maybe this is just me picturing the Fire Nation as a fairly corrupt King's Landing-esque kind of place, but if Aang and Katara were to break up there, any and all of their personal business would become gossip and just make everything harder for Katara and Zuko. Everybody needs some space now, and Katara needs to do some soul searching. And for her, soul searching means family time. Hence sick Gran-Gran. It kills me to tear them apart again, but there you go, that's why I did it.
> 
> You may hate me now, but trust me. I've been working on their steamy (See what I did there? Terrible pun, I know.) scene since I started this story. It will be worth the wait.


	7. Challenges

Even with Aang pushing Appa to his limits, the trip to the South Pole was an agonizing three weeks long. Every day blurred into the next, a flurry of short stops, quick meals, and sleepless nights. Katara was a nervous wreck, unable to do most things she usually did when they travelled. Aang picked up the slack and never complained, cooking the meals, making the fires, and setting up camp.

Katara barely had the capacity to be grateful. She felt numb. Cold didn't bother her. If it rained, she halfheartedly bent it away. The most she ever asked Aang was how much longer it would be, and he always answered truthfully. She appreciated it, but was unable to say the words. Fear had stolen the life from her. If Gran-Gran was gone when they got there…Aang was afraid she might never come back from this ledge.

They finally arrived in the middle of a blizzard, but they found a way to land, Aang burning a small fire in his palm to keep Katara warm as they trekked to find anyone familiar. Katara led them to her father's house, where they were spotted from the window and greeted immediately. A large structure had been built beside the house to keep Appa warm, and Aang led him to it as Katara rushed in to see her family.

The house was warm, but nothing was warmer than her father's embrace. Hakoda held his daughter tightly, not caring about the chill he got from the snow on her jacket. She pulled away as he wiped tears from her face, his fatherly concern coaxing more words out of her than Aang had been able to in three weeks. "Dad, is she…is Gran-Gran—"

"She's holding on. She's still with us," Hakoda cupped his daughter's cheek, a thankful smile spreading over his features. "You made it in time."

Katara nearly sagged with relief, hugging her father even closer. She stepped away feeling warmer. More hopeful. A little closer to herself. Glancing around the room she saw Sokka and Suki waiting anxiously to hug her. She did so, grateful for their familiar faces, though it was strange to see Sokka this subdued. And Pakku was there, standing close to the fire. She crossed the room and bowed, as was their custom, but was glad when he caught her in his arms as well, like a real grandfather. He pulled away and kissed her forehead. "I am so glad you are here, Katara."

"So am I. Where is she?"

"She's upstairs. She's stable for now, but…" Pakku cut himself off, not wanting to even say the words aloud.

Suki stepped in, taking Katara's jacket. "We have some food leftover from dinner. You should eat before you try anything."

Katara glanced at Pakku and her father, looking for input. They both agreed with Suki and Hakoda led Katara to the table, serving her a hot bowl of her favorite soup.

Aang walked in while she was eating, and he received much the same greeting. They were all happy to see him, but saddened by the circumstances. After a time she felt a warm hand on her shoulder. She looked up to see Aang, kneeling down to gently rub her back. "Are you alright?"

She nodded, sorry to have worried him so. "I'm getting there. And I'll be better once I see her."

"Do you want me to come with you? I know I don't know how to heal, but I could watch you and maybe learn—"

"No, thank you. I appreciate it, but I can't have anyone else try until I know what's wrong."

"Okay."

Hakoda cleared his daughter's place as Pakku stepped forward. "Follow me."

Katara climbed the stairs of her childhood home, amazed at how small it seemed now. And how strange. But despite the differences, she was glad to see that this time, it felt like home. Maybe it was the desperation in the air, but she felt traces of her mother everywhere. It felt different, but familiar. Not like a home she lived in, but a home she had once loved. It would always have a kind of comfort, no matter where she went or how many adventures she had. She just hoped she could restore Gran-Gran's health and save this home from any more loss.

Pakku opened the door at the end of the hall, and Katara braced herself. All five of the tribe's best healers were crowded in the small room, but they were glad to see her. Their regiments of herbs and serums weren't working. They needed the help of a Water Bender.

Looking at Gran-Gran this way was difficult. She was lying in bed, heavy furs and blankets pulled up to her shoulders. She looked pale. She was missing that healthy glow, the shine of her steadfast spirit. It was like she was gone already.

_No. I won't think that way. I can't._

Pushing her fears away, she moved to sit on a stool by her grandmother's side. Pakku filled a basin with water, hoping it was enough. "No one knows what's wrong. It's some sort of sickness. A few others in the village had it, and she insisted on caring for them. She made them food, washed their clothes. She was just trying to help them, but then she caught it. So much worse than anyone else."

Katara glanced up and watched Pakku wipe a tear away. He loved her grandmother, very much. It was obvious how much this was hurting him. She rested a hand on his shoulder. "I'll do my best."

Katara took a deep breath, calling water to her hands, coaxing it to glow. She couldn't let everyone see how nervous she was. Katara had never tried to heal an infection or sickness before. All of her experience was with injury. There was no blood, no wound. Nothing obvious to cleanse. So what was she supposed to do?

She was momentarily reminded of when she tried to heal Zuko's scar. There was nothing cosmetic to fix. It was all underneath. She channeled that feeling, hoping against hope that it would lead to something.

_Calm down, Katara. You can do this. Just breathe. Find what's ailing her first._

She turned to Pakku. "Has she said she was in pain at any time?"

"She doesn't talk much. But she complained of chest pains a few days before it really hit."

She nodded. It was a place to start. Katara peeled the furs away and closed her eyes again, her hands moving over her grandmother's body. All of her organs seemed to be working fine, as well as they could for someone her age. But every once and a while, she would get a twinge of something wrong. She moved her hands up to cover her grandmother's heart, and she found the source of the feeling. She didn't know what was wrong, but something was wrong with her blood. And it all passed through the heart. If she was going to heal this, she was going to have to cleanse the blood through the heart, but that was a huge task, and she knew it. For the first time, Katara doubted her abilities. _I don't know if this is even possible. ___

Still, she had to try. It was Gran-Gran. She would do anything she could to bring her back. With all the power she could muster, Katara tried to cleanse the tissue in her the heart, latching on to the difference between the healthy and infected tissue. As she pushed on, she felt a subtle change. It wasn't significant, but some of the blood seemed to be cleansed. She was at the edge of consciousness, but she pushed still harder, wanting to do as much as she could to save her grandmother. It made a small, but noticeable difference, and Katara's energy quickly faded as she used the last of her strength to send the water back to the basin.

She swayed on her stool, but Pakku was there to catch her. He fanned her face with his hand, keeping her conscious enough to speak. "Katara! Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. Just…tired. Take that water and boil it before you throw it anywhere. I don't know if it's clean anymore."

Two of the healers nodded and took the water away, the other three following suit as Pakku motioned for some privacy. Katara breathed deeply, her vision clearing steadily. "It's something with her blood. I can feel that her body is fighting back, but it's not enough. She's going to need a lot more help like this to get her healthy again."

"You can feel that?"

Katara nodded, unsure why she was able to feel anything at all. But as she thought back on her travels, a particular memory stuck out, a memory that she wished she could forget. She saw flowers immediately drained of all beauty at the whim of an old, wretched Water Bender. Katara remembered the twitch in her veins at the full moon. She remembered the dark power she felt as she'd held that woman up with her own talent. Katara was a Blood Bender. No matter how she'd tried to forget or deny it, she felt the ability rise within her every full moon. But maybe that could help her here. If it was something with her blood…she didn't want to cause Gran-Gran any pain, but if she could also heal…was it possible?

Katara looked to Pakku, eyes a little desperate. "How long is it until the full moon?"

"The full moon passed two days ago. Another month until the next one." His eyes narrowed at her as she sighed heavily. "Why do you ask?"

Though she wished she could spare him the details, Pakku was more than her grandfather. He was her Master, her teacher, and she needed his help. She explained about her terrifying abilities, but to Pakku's credit, he took it all in stride. He nodded slowly, understanding Katara's exertion a bit better.

"So you want to combine some kind of healing practice with your Blood Bending abilities in the hopes that it will cure Kanna."

"Basically. But I'm going to need help. Lots of it. Trying to do that by myself is too much. Sokka said you sent messages to the Northern Water Tribe?"

"I did. They are bringing water from the Spirit Pool with them, it might be useful."

Katara nodded, knowing from experience just how much it would help. "That's good. In the meantime, she needs to eat whenever she's awake. And rest. Rest is always good."

A weak voice chimed in. "Then will someone get me some food, please? I'm starving."

Katara's face was immediately alight as she looked to the bed, where Gran-Gran was struggling to sit up. Pakku rushed to her side, helping her up and propping up some pillows. "Kanna?"

"Yes, I'm awake."

"How do you feel?"

"Better. Strange and weak, but better."

Tears sprang to Pakku's eyes as he took her hand in his, pressing his lips against it before curling it against his heart. "Good. I'm glad."

Katara smiled at the picture they made. She took her grandmother's other hand and squeezed it, finding a reason to excuse herself. "I'll go get you some soup. It's pretty good, considering Dad made it."

"You do that. And send him and Sokka up with it, will you?"

Katara nodded, tired but glad. "I will."

* * *

Everyone was amazed to see the progress Kanna made with Katara's daily healings. She wanted to stem the tide of the infection, but it always left her drained. Katara slept more that month than she had in a long time. Her days were filled with research, trying to see if there were any herbs the healers might have that would help keep her comfortable, and then after dinner every night, Katara would go to her grandmother, basin in hand, and heal until she could barely see straight.

It grew easier as the lunar cycle progressed, and that gave Katara hope for her plan. Now they just needed the Northern Tribe to hurry up and get there with that Spirit Water. Katara was doing the best she could alone, but she knew it wouldn't work without them.

As the days wore on and the moon grew fuller, Katara started to worry. There were only a few days left before the full moon, and though Gran-Gran was stable and awake, she knew she was losing the battle. The night before the full moon, Katara stood outside under a light snow, waiting for any glimpse of a boat. She felt someone step up beside her.

"They're going to make it, Katara. I know it."

She gave Aang a small smile, but she was a realist. She knew that if they hadn't gotten a message saying they were close yet, they weren't going to make it in time for this full moon. "I appreciate that, Aang. But I don't think so."

Aang nodded, staring out onto the sea with her. "So what are you gonna do?"

"I don't know. I know Gran-Gran needs me to try. So I'm going to try."

"By yourself? Without the Spirit Water?"

"It's my only choice. Gran-Gran won't last another month on my little healings alone. She needs a big push if she's going to make it until help arrives."

Aang was worried for her. All month, he'd barely seen Katara. She was so focused on saving her grandmother; the most they'd even spoken was over meals or about healing herbs. He took her hand in his, squeezing it reassuringly. "If anyone can do it, I know it's you."

She looked down at the young monk, amazed at how much older he already looked. He'd taken lots of responsibility in the almost-two months since they'd left the Fire Nation, and she was grateful. But behind that she felt just how unfair this was to him. He'd done so much for her, and he had no idea how much her feelings had changed. That before she'd gotten that message from Sokka, she'd had every intention of ending things with him. She shook the thought from her head. _I can't think about that now. All that matters is saving Gran-Gran. When she's better, I can worry about Aang._

She squeezed his hand back, but pulled hers away, retreating inside the warm sleeves of her parka. "Thank you."

* * *

Katara was right. The night of the full moon was upon them, and there was no help in sight. Gran-Gran was looking the worse for wear; she'd been unable to join them for dinner for the past three nights. Katara sighed. She was going to have to do this on her own.

That night at dinner was quiet. No one knew what to say. Sokka tried to make light dinner conversation, but even he couldn't remove the gloom from the table.

Hakoda finally broke the silence. "Katara, I know you want to help your grandmother. But you need to be careful. You said yourself that you would need help to do this."

"I did. But help isn't here. So I have to try. You know I have to try."

Hakoda wanted so badly for there to be another way, but there just wasn't. He sighed and turned back to his food, eyes full of uncertainty.

Pakku cleared his throat. "You may not have to do this alone, Katara."

"What?"

"I've been watching you every night, and practicing on minor injuries that people have had in the village. You're not the only Waterbender who cares about Kanna. Let me help you."

Katara was somewhat taken aback at Pakku's passionate words, but everyone around the table offered their voices in agreement. Katara took a sip of water, swallowing her food. "Okay. I could use all the help I can get."

Dinner finished quickly after that, and the nervousness was contagious. Katara hugged everyone before she and Pakku made the journey upstairs, opening the door to find that she was up and waiting, arms crossed.

"You can't try this. You're not strong enough on your own, Katara."

"I know. But Pakku is going to help me."

Her grandmother looked to the man by her side and narrowed her eyes. "Really, Pakku. You too?"

"Kanna, it could help. And if it can help, I'm going to do it. End of discussion."

Her voice was weak and brimming with emotion. "You should just let me go. I'm worried you'll push yourselves too far, and I'm old, I've lived my life—"

"Don't say that. I am just as old as you and I have much more life I want to live. With you. So you need to fight, too. Fight this with us."

Katara could see how much the words touched her grandmother. She extended her hand and cupped Pakku's cheek, nodding weakly. "Alright. Fine. You win."

Pakku smiled and pressed a kiss to her forehead, turning back to Katara. "Okay. How do you want to do this?"

Katara breathed deeply, calling up water to her hands, pleased to see that Pakku was able to do the same, a steady glow coming from both sets of hands. "Just follow my lead, I guess. Be careful around her heart. We're just trying to cleanse, not stitch or pull." She closed her eyes and started, feeling the increase in power now that Pakku was working with her. "Think as though you're washing a single strand of hair, pulling the water off by sliding it gently between your fingers."

The image helped as she felt Pakku gain confidence, working with her. She used the moon's energy and combined her healing powers as much as she could, trying to work quickly and efficiently to get as much done before she could heal no more. She was afraid of hurting Gran-Gran, but not so much that she was unable to work. Steadily they healed, cleansing more of her heart than ever before. Katara allowed herself a moment of triumph. _It's working. It's working!_

This victory pushed Katara even further and faster than before. She was well aware that she was pushing herself too hard, but she didn't care. She would work until she passed out if that's what it took. She felt the burning in her own veins as she struggled to keep focus, forcing herself to tear down her own barriers to keep healing, to keep going, to keep working just a little…longer…just…

_"Katara!"_

Pakku's cry was the last thing she heard as she fell, a warm darkness consuming her vision.

* * *

When she came to, she found herself lying down, her father's worried face over hers. She tried to sit up, but was struck by a pang of dizziness and was forced to lie back down.

"Hey now, it's okay. Just relax, you hit your head pretty hard there."

She took a deep breath and tried again, slower this time, and was able to sit up. She was lying on the couch in front of the fire, and as she glanced around she saw everyone crowded around her, as close as Pakku would let them get. He checked her head and Katara felt the pull of linen around her forehead. She furrowed her brows, and Hakoda explained.

"You fell from the stool and cracked your head on the bedpost. Pakku actually healed most of it, but it's good practice to wrap a head wound."

She smiled at Pakku when he was done fussing with the wrapping. "Thank you. Seems like you did a good job."

"I learned from a great Master."

Katara smiled at the joke, but as she scanned the room, she noticed a face missing. "Where's Gran-Gran?"

Sokka piped up. "She's fine. She's resting now, but Pakku said she looks better. She'll be okay until the Northern Healers arrive."

Aang smiled at her. "You did it."

Katara felt the weight lift from her chest as she settled back down, resting her head on a pillow. "Thank goodness."

Hakoda crossed to his daughter and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Rest now, Katara. You can see your grandmother in the morning."

Katara took his advice and heard the sound of the room clearing, snuggling down into the furs as she watched the fire burn. With her fear for her grandmother gone, she felt her thoughts and fears turn to something else as she watched the blaze. She missed him. The realization took her a bit off guard, but she knew it was true. She missed Zuko more than she'd ever missed anyone before.

She should send him a message, let him know that Gran-Gran was going to be okay. But would he want to talk to her? She knew that Iroh would deliver her note, but was it enough? She felt the familiar pull of sleep settle over her, and sighed. She'd figure it out in the morning. She'd had an exhaustive day. She deserved a night off from solving everyone's problems, her own included.

That night she dreamt of warm golden eyes and a question, a question she'd answered, but that still haunted her thoughts.

_In a perfect world, if you could have anything you wanted, where would you be?_

She stirred briefly from sleep, frustrated that she couldn't escape him, even after answering him. She knew exactly where she would be. The question was, did he want her there?

* * *

Katara woke the next morning to the smell of breakfast. But not just anyone's breakfast. She looked up to see Gran-Gran cooking on the fire, making one of Katara's favorite dishes.

"Gran-Gran! You're up!"

"Thanks in a large part to you, my dear. I thought I should say thank you with some food."

Katara beamed at the sight in front of her, happy that finally, at least one thing was normal. Gran-Gran was making breakfast. How could anything be wrong when there was Gran-Gran's famous salmon breakfast?

Katara eagerly got up and changed her clothes, hurriedly scampering back down the stairs to find Sokka, Suki and Aang already gathered to eat. They all smiled at Katara, happy to see her. "Glad to see you're up. I thought you were gonna sleep the whole day away."

Sokka's chiding tone was nearly music to her ears. _Something else normal. Sokka making fun of me._ She narrowed her eyes at him in jest, sitting cross-legged next to Aang. "It's not even midday yet. I didn't sleep anything away."

Sokka smiled, glad to see that his sister's good humor had seemingly returned. They laughed and joked over breakfast, finally doing the catching up they hadn't had time for upon their arrival. Sokka and Suki insisted they were well, and that things back in the Earth Kingdom were doing great. Aang brought up their travels, including their stop in the Fire Nation, and Katara was too happy to even acknowledge the guilt that crept up as he spoke. She pushed it aside. _I'll deal with that later._

Aang turned to her, mouth half-full of rice. "I almost forgot, Zuko sent a small package with some of our things, since we left in such a hurry."

"What did he send?"

"Not much. I left one of my robes, and you left some kind of Water Bending scroll."

Katara didn't remember having a scroll on her in the Fire Nation, but then again, she'd left in a very distracted state. She swallowed the salmon in her mouth and reached for her water. "We should send him a message back and say thanks. I'm sure he's wondering if everything's alright with Gran-Gran."

"Don't worry, I already did."

Fear struck Katara's chest, but she tried to keep steady. "Really? What'd you say?"

"Not much. Just that Gran-Gran was getting better every day and that we were doing fine. And I thanked him again for letting us stay in the palace."

Katara became suddenly fascinated with her salmon as she tried to process it all. _That "we" are doing fine? Letting "us" stay? As in "we", me and Aang, still together?_

"When did you send this?"

"A couple weeks ago. You were so busy, I didn't want to bother you."

 _Shit._ She felt herself losing control over the situation, over herself. She stopped toying with her salmon and looked to her side to focus on Aang. "Well maybe next time, you bother me. Okay?"

"Katara, what's wrong—"

"Nothing. It's just I would've liked to write that message, or at least see it, and I don't really appreciate the fact that you assumed you could respond for me."

Aang was blindsided, completely confused by her behavior. "Katara, what's wrong, are you mad because I wrote to Zuko?"

"No, I am _angry_ because you didn't think to let me know until now!"

"I was trying to help!"

Katara glanced to Sokka and Suki, and their equally confused expressions told her she'd gone too far. She needed space. Distance. As much as she could get while they were still in the same place. "I'm sorry. I just…I need to go for a walk."

She stood up and grabbed her parka, pulling on her boots as quickly as possible. Gran-Gran re-entered the room with more salmon, calling after Katara as she opened the door. "Katara? Where are you going?"

She couldn't even answer, afraid that tears would spill out if she tried. Unable to speak, she ran through the doorway, out into the bright day, the door slamming behind her.

Aang was still staring after her when Sokka turned to Suki. "That was weird, right?"

Suki didn't respond, so Sokka continued, trying to make a joke where there was no humor to be found. "I mean, come on. Who leaves in the middle of Gran-Gran's salmon breakfast? Am I right?"

Suki rolled her eyes at her Sokka, hoping that one day he would understand "time and place". She turned her gaze to Aang. He was stirring his rice, not looking up as he spoke.

"Yeah, Sokka. That was weird."

* * *

Aang knew she needed space, so he didn't follow. It wasn't until she didn't show up for dinner that he knew something was wrong. Aang bundled up in borrowed furs and trekked outside, ignoring the raging blizzard in the pursuit of finding her.

He wandered the village for a bit before he had a thought. On a night as cold as this, she would need warmth. And if she wasn't at home with a fire, he knew the next warmest place. Turning back, he entered the large building they'd built for Appa and found her there, curled into the bison's fur, her back facing him.

"You want to tell me what that was all about this morning?" Aang was aware he sounded angry, but he didn't care. He was angry.

"I'm sorry," was her meek reply. She sounded as if she'd been crying. It disarmed him, and he walked closer, kneeling beside her.

"Katara, what's wrong?"

"I don't know. I'm sorry I yelled at you, that wasn't right."

"It's okay, but…I just really don't understand what's going on. Is it about your grandmother?"

"No. Please don't pick at this, Aang. I just need some time to think."

"About what?"

She finally turned from Appa's warmth, sitting and holding her knees. "About us."

The realization hit him square in the chest. "You're having second thoughts about us?"

Katara nodded, afraid that this conversation was about to take an irrevocable turn. Aang seemed strangely calm as he sighed. "Good. Me too."

Katara's head snapped up at his confession. "What? Really?"

"It's not that I don't care about you, Katara. Because I really do. I just thought things would be different. I thought we would be…I don't know."

"What?" Katara asked.

"Happy. But you're not. When we're with other people and we're just being friends, it works. And it seems like it makes sense for us to be together. But it all falls apart when we're alone. And I don't know why that is. It's like you're doing it on purpose, Katara."

He was hitting a little too close to home. "And why would I do that?"

"I don't know. Maybe you're unhappy," he turned to Katara, taking her hand in his. He pressed a quick kiss to the back of it, wanting to show her how much he meant this. "But if you just tell me what's wrong, we can fix it. I know we can fix it, and we can have everything you ever wanted."

This kind of earnest warmth was exactly what she'd expected from Aang when she'd made her decision, back on that balcony all those months ago. He was so positive that he could fix things…it was like he was making up for something. Maybe it was the ghost of his running away that would never quite be done with him. Even though it wasn't really his fault that he was gone for a hundred years, he still carried the burden. It made him want to do better, to be better. But as sweet as he was, she knew it wasn't enough. It didn't matter how much they had in common, or how much they made sense, or how easy it would be to just stay with him. It would be a lie. And Katara was done lying to him. It was time to come clean.

"Aang, what I'm going to tell you is hard for me to say, but you deserve the truth." She steadied herself as she watched him, brows furrowed and jaw tense. This was not going to be easy.

"I love you, Aang. I really do. I love the way you give everything you are to help people. I love your silly jokes and the way you make me laugh. I never really laughed much before I met you. You changed that in me, and I am so grateful every day that I was the one to find you in the ice. And you've been amazing since we got here, taking care of me while I was busy with Gran-Gran. I'm really thankful. You've been perfect."

This was the moment. The next few sentences stuck in her throat because she knew how they would linger in the air between them. She honestly wished she didn't have to say them. "But Aang…I haven't been. I haven't been honest with you, and what I'm going to say is going to make you hate me—"

"I could never hate you."

Sadness was evident in his voice, and it came close to breaking her. She covered her face with her hands, trying to keep her heartbeat steady. "Please, Aang. Let me talk before you promise anything else."

Aang nodded, eyes dazed and confused. Katara took a broken breath. "Aang, I don't think I love you in the same way you love me. I really wanted to try after the war, but somewhere along the way this became something I had to do instead of something I wanted to do. And being with you…it hurt other people, too."

Aang's eyes slipped closed, but he kept listening. "What do you mean?"

"Aang, before we were together…I had feelings for Zuko. And I think…I think he might've loved me. But I chose you, and I wanted that to be the end of it. I wanted so badly to be happy with you. But you're right, I'm not happy. And it wasn't the end of my feelings for Zuko; when we were in the Fire Nation, it was like a second beginning. And I'm so, so sorry."

She watched it all click inside his head, watched as the pain settled over his features. Aang's eyes were brimming with tears as he looked at her. "But…I love you."

"I know."

"I love you, that's…that's supposed to be enough."

She hated that she had to be the one to teach him this lesson. She was his first love. And if Aang was going to find happiness with someone else, it all hinged on how she handled the next few minutes. She had to break him, but not shatter him. Just hurt him. Kindly. Hurt him to teach him. Hurt him to help him. Hurt him to be fair to him.

"Sometimes it's not. And I don't know why it's not, but it's not."

"So when we were in the Fire Nation…that dinner where you were acting so strangely…is that why I barely saw you afterwards?"

"Yes."

"Because you were with Zuko?"

She couldn't even say it. She merely nodded her head, keeping her eyes low.

"And if we hadn't gotten that letter from Sokka? Would we even be together?"

"I don't know. Probably not."

He shook his head, struggling to process the information. She was waiting for him to yell, or cry, something. But he just stared at the ground, thinking. What Aang said next surprised her. "You said you think he's in love with you. Do you love him, too?"

The question caught her off guard. "I don't…I mean, maybe. I think so. Yes."

"So you were torn between what you thought you had to do for me, and being with someone you love." Aang nodded, showing maturity beyond what she had ever seen before. "And that's why you freaked out about the message. Because I made it sound like we were still together."

"Yes. I guess."

Aang sighed, standing up before her. "I understand. I don't know why you didn't just talk to me about it before, but I understand. Excuse me."

This was not at all how she'd pictured this going. She wished he would yell or scream or tell her how awful she was; it would make it easier. "Aang, where are you going?"

"I need some time alone. To think." His crossed to where Appa's saddle was held and reached for his glider, freeing it from its wrappings as he moved to the door. Katara's protective instincts kicked in. "Aang, there's a blizzard going on out there, you can't possibly fly with it like this—"

"I'm the Avatar, Katara. A little snow isn't going to stop me."

He was gone so quickly she almost didn't believe it had happened. She let the tears come, sobbing softly into her knees. She didn't know how long she stayed like that, but eventually her tears subsided, and common sense returned to her. Her family was probably worried sick about her, out alone in this storm. She wiped her cheeks and stood, bundling back up and trekking over to her father's house, where she found exactly what she expected, lots of relieved faces and outcries for an explanation.

Gran-Gran's voice cut above everyone else's. "Will you all relax? She's fine. And I'm sure Aang is fine, too."

Katara looked at her grandmother with huge, thankful eyes. "I'm sorry I worried you. I'm going to my room."

With that as her only explanation, Katara climbed the stairs, shutting the door behind her.

Sokka turned to Suki again. "Okay, but seriously. _Super_ weird."


	8. Changes

Katara was curled in her bed when she heard a soft knock on the door. "Katara?"

She would recognize Gran-Gran's voice anywhere, and even though she wanted to be alone, she couldn't say no to her. "Come in."

The older woman slowly closed the door behind her, gingerly climbing to sit on the edge of Katara's bed. Katara rolled over, but didn't sit up. She sighed. "Aang and I are no longer together. It's over between us."

Gran-Gran mused over the idea, though she seemed less than shocked. "I wondered if that was it."

"You're not surprised?"

"Not really. He's a cute kid, but he's just that. A kid."

"He's grown a lot since you first met him."

"And so have you."

Katara looked away, knowing she was right. She rolled onto her back, staring at the ceiling. "I messed up, Gran-Gran. Real bad."

Kanna laughed softly at her granddaughter, remembering when she was her age. Everything was always so dramatic, so real. "What did you do?"

Katara confessed, finally sharing her burden with someone else. As she talked, Gran-Gran just listened, not stopping her or adding anything to the conversation. Katara told her everything, not leaving out a single, embarrassing moment. If she was going to give advice, Gran-Gran needed to know just how stupid and reckless she'd been. She sat up, impassioned, as she talked about that morning.

"…and then Aang says he's sent some message to Zuko where he mentioned us together, and I don't know, I just freaked out. And then he found me, and I couldn't keep it from him anymore. I had to tell him the truth. And then he flew off on his glider."

"He didn't say anything?"

"No…he said he understood. He actually took it a lot better than I thought he would."

"You'd be amazed how intuitive people can be. Have you ever been in a room with someone who'd rather be elsewhere? You know how you can just feel it?"

Katara nodded as her grandmother continued. "It's exactly like that. I'm sure Aang has been sensing your discomfort for a while. I'll bet he's just glad to have an answer."

"Probably not the answer he expected, though."

Kanna smoothed her hand over her granddaughter's hair. "No, probably not. I'll give you that." They shared a smile. "Turn around, let me braid your hair for you."

"Gran-Gran, you haven't done that since I was a girl."

"Exactly."

Rolling her eyes with a smile, Katara finger-combed her hair, getting rid of her "hair loopies" and turning away. It was surprisingly soothing to have her hair braided again. It brought her back to a simpler time, when her family was whole and she knew nothing of Avatars or Fire Lords. Back when the only thing she knew about love was watching her parents, and stories about brave warriors saving the day and getting married.

Kanna knew Katara wasn't done yet. Though Katara had told her everything, she'd mentioned nothing about her immediate future. "So what about this Zuko person? What are you going to do about him?"

Katara sighed as her grandmother continued the braid. "If you'd asked me yesterday? I would've gone to him, no question. Now I'm not so sure."

"Because of Aang's letter?"

"Yeah. I've been so back and forth with this already, I don't know if he can handle me going back on him again. Even though I didn't write that letter…maybe it would be better to let him think I'm still with Aang. Maybe I should just let him get over his feelings for me and move on."

"Or you could write him a message of your own explaining things."

Katara looked down at the furs on her bed as her grandmother finished the braid. Even if she wrote another message, what would she say? Sorry I broke your heart again? Forgive me? Again? No. She'd caused him enough pain. "I wish I could, Gran-Gran. But it's not that easy."

Kanna sighed, finishing the braid with a small strap of leather. "Well if one day you realize that it is, think about what I said. You might be standing in the way of your own happiness, my love."

* * *

Katara saw Aang the next morning at breakfast, but they said nothing to each other. She watched him scarf down the rest of his meal in an attempt to get away from her, and it left her unsettled. She hadn't heard him come into the house last night. More than likely he was flying until dawn. She decided to follow him as he went to feed Appa, but he was walking rather swiftly. She almost had to yell to make sure he heard her.

"Aang!"

The Airbender halted, turning to face her. "What?"

Katara jogged up to him, unsure what to say. "I just…I'm glad you're okay. I was worried about you in the storm."

"It wasn't so bad once I got above the clouds."

She nodded. "Right."

Aang took pity on her. She was trying to do the right thing, but had no idea what to say. He started her off. "I know you're sorry. So am I."

"For what?"

"For leaving, scaring you like that. I just needed to think some things over."

Katara pulled her braid in front of her, playing with the end of it. "And what did you come up with?"

Aang shrugged, kicking the snow with the toe of his boot. "That I'll be okay. And so will you."

Katara wasn't sure what to say. "How are you being this understanding? I thought you'd be mad."

"I am mad."

"Then why aren't you yelling at me? Telling me how awful I am?"

His face softened as he looked at her, like he was the one to take pity on _her._ "Because you already think that enough for the both of us. I meant what I said, I could never hate you." His tone shifted introspectively. "I know what it's like to make a choice between duty and love."

That was news to her. "What are you talking about?"

Aang seemed almost pained when he answered her, but she needed to hear this. It would make things easier for both of them, no matter how much it hurt for Aang to admit it.

"I never told you this Katara, but when I go into the Avatar state, voluntarily, I have to leave everything and everyone behind. I have to be completely separate from it all. That's why I couldn't master the Avatar state at first. Because I knew it meant that I had to leave you," he glanced at her, checking her expression for understanding, "And I didn't want to, not even for a little bit. Because coming back down from the Avatar state meant dealing with the fact that for a while, I was perfectly fine without you, and you were fine without me. And I didn't want that to be true. Not even to save the world."

Katara was overwhelmed with information, but she kept up, wanting him to finish his story. Aang crossed his arms, shrugging. "But eventually, I realized what Guru Pathik was saying all along. It's my duty to the world to make these sacrifices. It's what I get for being gone for a hundred years. I mean, if I hadn't been frozen in the ice, I'd be an old man, Katara. And you would seem like a child to me."

The thought of Aang being an old man right now seemed impossible, but he was right. If he hadn't run, the world would never have known life without the Avatar. And if they'd met at all, he would be older than Gran-Gran, and by a quite a few years. "What do you think would've happened?" she asked.

"I don't know. There never would've been a war. I probably wouldn't have met you or Sokka. Or Toph, or Suki, or Zuko either." He watched her flush as he said Zuko's name, and he knew he had to tell her the rest of it. She deserved to know why she shouldn't blame herself so heavily.

"Katara, last night I went into the Avatar state to meditate and think everything through. And I realized something that I think you should know."

"What?"

"The reason I wasn't surprised that you had feelings for Zuko…is because I think a part of me already knew. There's a strong Spirit Bond between you two. I can sense it when you're near each other. Maybe Zuko is the path your life would've naturally taken. I mean, I was never supposed to be this young at this time."

Katara shook her head, confused. "Aang, what are you saying?"

"I'm saying that it's not impossible to think that you and him are sort of…meant to be, I guess. He was a Fire Prince, your dad is the Chief of the Southern Water Tribe, which kind of makes you royalty, too. Could've been an alliance thing, I don't know any specifics, but it's possible. I'm the one out of place here, Katara. I have a feeling that if I'd never run away, you two still would've found each other. And I can't stand in the way of a bond like that."

Katara blinked in disbelief, unsure why she felt the stinging of tears, but struggling to keep them at bay. "Wow…I'm not sure I know what to say, Aang."

"It's a lot to think about."

"I can see why you were gone for so long, then."

Aang smiled at her small joke, and she returned it with a half-hearted laugh. "Thank you. For telling me."

"You're welcome. And, I know things didn't work out with us, and I know it'll be hard, but I really want to still be friends with you. Some of the best memories I have are of you being my friend. You always took care of me back then, and that counts for something, right?"

His seemingly boundless understanding touched Katara deeply. She crossed the space between them and embraced the young Airbender, pressing a tender kiss to his cheek. "Of course we can."

* * *

Zuko sat at his desk, eyes glazed over. He combed a hand through his hair, sighing as he looked at the stack of letters before him. He flipped through them, looking to see if anything was more urgent than the rest, and he found a thin piece of parchment with somewhat messy scrawl. It caught his attention.

_Zuko,_

_Thanks so much for sending our things, Katara and I really appreciate it. Her grandmother's doing much better, but things are still a little uncertain. We really appreciate you and Mai letting us stay with you. Hopefully next time we won't have to run out so quickly._

_Hope to see you soon,_

_Aang_

The letter left a bad taste in his mouth. These were not the words of someone who'd been broken up with. These were the words of someone who thought himself secure and in love. He glanced to the candle on his desk, indulging the impulse that quickened within him.

He let licks of fire shoot out from his fingers, gently curling his hand around the parchment as it burned. When it was nothing but ashes he dusted his hands off, letting it fall to the floor. He sat back in his chair, unsure how to feel. He dug in a drawer and pulled out a small box, containing nothing but a scrap of paper with two words curled upon it.

He unfolded it, staring at the words. The edges of the parchment had grown a bit softer, the creases deeper from his constant folding and unfolding to look at it. He lit a fire in his hand, staring back and forth. Flame and parchment. Parchment and flame.

With a frustrated groan, he extinguished the fire, refolding the note and slamming the lid of the box.

_No. Not yet._

* * *

Another two weeks passed before Katara received word from the Northern Water Tribe. They would be there in three days time, and they had water from the Spirit Pool. Katara was glad of the news. They would be there in time for the next full moon, and she could finally rest easy about Gran-Gran.

The full moon soon filled the sky, and Katara was glad to have the extra help. She and the two women had been discussing ideas and tactics since they'd arrived, and she was amazed at their expertise. Apparently Gran-Gran's sickness was something not uncommon in the Northern Water Tribe, though her case seemed to be worse than most. It would take a lot of strength and effort, but Katara was confident it could be done.

They stood around Gran-Gran's bed, Pakku holding her hand the whole time, and bent the Spirit Water over their hands. They worked together, cleansing as one, Katara's Blood Bending abilities unlocked by the moon's full glow. The difference the Spirit Water made was incredible. They worked with speed and precision, and before she knew it they were done. Gran-Gran was completely cured.

The family celebrated their success with a huge feast, inviting the whole tribe to bring food and wine to toast Kanna's health. It was an event to dress up for, and Katara relished the idea of a night of fun. She and Suki dressed their best, and found Aang and Sokka looking if not well dressed, at least better than usual. Suki laughed at Sokka's obvious discomfort with his fancier clothes, giving him a quick peck on the cheek, reminding him of the huge amount of food that was sure to be there. With Sokka's spirits revived, the four of them went to join the rest of the family at the feast.

They sat at a large table outdoors, an enormous bonfire piled high with wood in the center of a circle of other tables. Aang did the honors himself, lighting the fire with a few quick blasts of flame, and the tribe cheered and shouted. It was a night full of laughter, dancing, and joy. Katara was glad to see it was not awkward between her and Aang. They even danced together once, though it was funny to see him try to master the steps of some of the traditional dances. He still made her laugh, and he was still glad to do it. Maybe they really could be friends. The thought warmed her heart.

When she was done eating, Katara made her way over to a few groups of children, spending time with them like she'd done before they discovered Aang. She couldn't believe how quickly they'd all grown. She sat with a couple little boys and one girl, obviously the younger sister of the boy across from her, as evidenced by their bickering. They reminded Katara of her and Sokka at that age. They were fighting about some benign thing when the boy finally snapped. "Yeah? Well fine! Take this!"

He grabbed his cup of water and threw it at the little girl, but to Katara's surprise it didn't hit. It hung in the air in a gathering of liquid, and the little girl squealed with glee. Her brother's jaw fell open, and with a flick of her tiny wrist, the water splashed all over his face. The rest of the children laughed, and Katara could only smile. She turned to the little girl, the firelight dancing in her eyes.

"What's your name, little one?"

The girl seemed a bit nervous, but she answered obediently. "Kyra."

Katara smiled at her. "Kyra? That's a very pretty name."

"Thank you."

"Do you know who I am?"

Kyra nodded, still not meeting her eyes. "You're Katara. Chief Hakoda's daughter."

"Yes. And you know what?"

"What?"

"I can do what you can do."

Kyra looked up, eyes alight, and gave her a toothy smile. "You can?"

Katara nodded. Kyra became suddenly fascinated. "Can you move more than water?"

Katara reached to the ground and picked up a handful of snow. She melted it into water and moved it into Kyra's tiny hands. As the water hit the child's skin, Katara froze it, turning it into a strangely shaped icicle. The girl oohed and ahhed in wonder. Katara smiled, bending it back into water and sending it to the ground. She stood and extended her hand to Kyra. "Where are your parents?"

* * *

For the next few days, Katara was wrapped up in learning everything she could about Kyra. She was four years old, had a brother named Kado, and a mother and father who loved her very, very much. They were unaware of Kyra's abilities until Katara coaxed the young girl to show them what she could do. Kyra looked at Katara with unsure eyes, but with a gentle smile Katara bent some water her way, and the young Kyra sent it right back. Kyra's mother ran to her daughter, happiness written all over her face. She wrapped Kyra in a huge hug. "That's amazing! I am so proud of you, honey."

Katara watched the mother and daughter pair as Kyra's father wrapped both of them in a hug. It was a tender moment of joy, but she turned her eyes from it, pushing down her own memories of similar times. Kyra slipped out of her mother's arms and ran to Katara, wrapping her little arms around her leg. "Thanks, Katara."

"Any time."

Kyra's father straightened, keeping an arm around his wife's waist. "I don't know how long you'll be here, but it would mean a lot to us if you would teach her, Master Katara."

Katara was unused to people using her formal title, but she smiled humbly. "It would be my honor, sir. Kyra is the second Southern Water Bender. We should stick together."

* * *

Katara sat by the fire that night, curled up in one of her favorite furs, incredibly pleased with her day. She and Kyra had gone to the water's edge and practiced pulling the waves, and after a few hours of hard practice, Kyra started to get the hang of it. Teaching Kyra was fulfilling. This was how it was supposed to be, the young learning from masters of their own tribe, able to share special skills that only their tribe possessed. She heard someone walk down the stairs and turned to see her father.

Hakoda crossed to the kitchen where he rummaged for a bit, then setting up a pot over the fire to make some tea. He sat beside her on their couch, glad to get to spend time with his daughter. It was in high demand these days, it seemed. When it was ready, he handed her a steaming cup, and she thanked him for it. She glanced back at the fire, lost in thought.

"I know that look. What's on your mind?"

She smiled to herself, unsure how to phrase her problems. "I don't know. I guess I got used to life on the move. Now that I'm home…I'm not sure what to do."

"Well, do you want to stay?"

Katara felt the heat from the fire and her eyes slipped closed in memory. "Part of me feels like I should go."

"And the rest of you?"

She shrugged. "The rest of me is glad to finally have a place to fit in again. Where I'm not some hero or special guest. Just a normal girl in a normal house."

Hakoda pulled his daughter into his arms, pressing a kiss to her hair. "You've never been just some normal girl. You've always been a daughter to be proud of. And now you're this lovely young woman, and you can take care of yourself," Hakoda's words caught in his throat as he pulled away to brush a thumb across her cheek. "There's so much of your mother in you."

Katara hugged her father, curling up against his chest, like she used to do as a small child. Her father rubbed her back, glad to be able to spend this time together. She spoke. "Kyra has true potential. Teaching her makes me want to stay."

"Then stay."

"I want to. But I can't stay forever. I can't explain it, but I know I'm not done out there yet," her thoughts flicked to a certain scarred Fire Lord and she knew it was true. "There's so much more I want from the world."

"Then stay until it doesn't feel right anymore. You've been on your own for a while. You're an adult now. You can leave whenever you like."

It was a tempting thought. Katara felt safe and whole for the first time in…she didn't know how long. Life was simple here. She knew what she wanted and did as she liked, no complications, and no problems. But no passion. Was it worth it?

She nodded against Hakoda's chest, sipping her tea. She wasn't sure if it was duty or cowardice, but she knew her answer. "Okay. I'll stay."

* * *

Katara created an unintentional schedule during the weeks that followed, and she and Aang found a kind of friendship. It was still awkward at times, but ever since they'd stopped trying to force romantic feelings into their relationship, things had become much easier. Katara would spend her mornings with Gran-Gran, helping to cook like she used to. Then she'd meet Hakoda, Pakku, Aang, Sokka, and Suki at the table, enjoying their company as they enjoyed her food.

Her afternoons were free of obligation, but were usually quite full. Sometimes she and Aang would practice bending with Pakku, other times Sokka would teach Aang some moves with a sword. Having never done much with actual weapons before, Aang was doing a fair job picking it up. Suki could often be found training young warriors, and Katara often met with Kyra, who despite her young age had already started mastering some basic Water Bending. The second Southern Water Bender. It still awed Katara to think of it. Kyra was a small miracle, proof that the world was really changing.

But it was impossible that their training could fill all of her days, especially since her only student had a strict bedtime. The nights were hardest. Every day she could feel that part of her that wanted to leave gain more and more momentum. Even curled under all of the warmest furs, the cold Southern nights still chilled her to the bone. It seemed she could never get warm enough, and it was dangerous to sleep with a large fire. She eventually took to sleeping directly beside the fireplace in the main room of the house, trying to steal as much heat as possible from the cooling embers to carry her into sleep. Sleep felt warmer. She was often in the Fire Nation in her dreams, and one particular dream kept coming back to her night after night.

She was wandering through the halls of the palace, searching for something. She didn't know what and she didn't know where it was, but she knew it was important. She scoured the entire palace looking for it. And it was the same every night. Just as she was about to give up, she'd turn a corner down a different hallway, a hall she'd never seen before, and at the end of it was Zuko.

He always had a large piece of paper in his hand, and she would watch as it fell to the floor, discarded. Then someone would step out of the shadows. It was as if Katara had interrupted an intimate moment, and it didn't matter how many nights she dreamt this dream, but when Zuko took Mai into his arms, it tore at her heart.

Every night Katara would wake up startled, then remind herself it was just a dream, and try to roll over, but it was getting harder and harder to ignore. She knew how to fix the problem. She just needed to know if he and Mai were still together or not. She hadn't heard anything from or about the Fire Nation, and she'd been too much of a coward to send anything to him. In fear of making things worse, she'd waited too long. If she sent something now…what would she even say? Besides, she'd left him her answer. He knew she wanted to be with him. If that wasn't enough to warrant a letter…then he clearly didn't want to be with her.

Even as she thought it the words rang hollow, but it was all she had to go on. As she rolled over, begging for sleep to take her, she hoped that whatever Zuko was doing and whomever Zuko was with, that he was happy. That was all that mattered.

* * *

_Ten months since this war's been over, and I am still buried in paperwork._

Running a nation was much harder than Zuko had originally thought. Every day he tried to believe it would get easier, that maybe today he would find a way to fix everything and have a moment to himself, but it never happened. If it weren't for his afternoon teas with Iroh, his every waking moment would be dedicated to rebuilding the Fire Nation. It was wearing on him. He could see it etched in his face every morning. He had dark circles under his eyes from lack of sleep more often than not. His bending was getting rusty too, what with his lack of time to train.

That afternoon when Iroh walked in, he didn't have their customary tray. Zuko's brow furrowed at his uncle. "No tea today?"

"No, just a change of scenery. You need a break, Zuko."

With no explanation other than that, Iroh left the room, knowing that Zuko would have to follow.

He led the young Fire Lord to a spot he'd long forgotten to visit. Zuko watched as Iroh turned, presenting the little lake like it was a great surprise. There was a small folding table full of tea, and a loaf of bread already split in two. Zuko felt himself relax as he saw the setup.

"Uncle…thank you. This is just what I needed."

They sat together in the shade of the large tree, enjoying the tea and each other's company, tossing little pieces of bread into the water to watch the turtleducks eat. Iroh glanced to his side, watching his nephew smile at the little animals. He took a sip of his tea. "Happy birthday, by the way."

Zuko quirked his head to his uncle. "What?"

Iroh smiled to himself. "I thought you'd forgotten."

Zuko thought long and hard before realization dawned on him. It was, in fact, his birthday. He'd been working so hard it must've slipped his mind. _Have I really been that single minded?_

He exhaled slowly, letting it sink in. "Wow. I guess it is."

"I keep trying to tell you that you're working too hard. The Fire Nation is full of other people. Use them."

Zuko laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. "Yeah. I guess I should look into that."

Iroh pulled his robe open slightly, revealing a piece of parchment. He handed it to his nephew. "Here."

"What is it?"

"A gift. Eighteen years is an accomplishment, especially with the life you've had. You should celebrate it."

Zuko quickly scanned the paper before looking back up at Iroh, a quizzical look on his face. "You want me to take a vacation to Ember Island?"

"Yes. And I think you should invite your friends. If they've been half as busy as you, I'm sure they could use a vacation. You haven't seen most of them for nearly a year now."

Zuko looked back to his tea, watching the steam rise before he took a sip. "I don't know if they'll all want to see me."

"Zuko—"

"Besides, getting letters to all of them would take time. And I don't know if they can just stop what they're doing to run off to Ember Island."

Iroh shrugged, not dissuaded. "Then plan ahead. It's two months until the first anniversary of the end of the war. You should spend it there, all of you, together."

Zuko eyed his uncle warily. "This isn't just about me taking a break, is it?"

Iroh reached for the teapot, refilling his cup for an excuse to not look at Zuko. "I don't know what you mean."

"I think you want me to see Katara again."

Iroh quirked his head in a patronizing way, like he was surprised it took Zuko that long to figure it out. He placed the teapot back on the table. "You haven't been yourself since she left. Of course I want you to see Katara again."

Zuko finished his tea in one gulp and set it on the table, brining his knees up to rest his elbows on them. He stared straight ahead, riddled with doubt. "I don't know what to do about her."

"Because of that stupid letter? That tells you nothing, and it was months ago. How do you feel about her?"

He'd been too busy ignoring his feelings to have any idea what they meant. He felt frustrated. Confused. Angry. Mildly betrayed. And somehow guilty, like he should've answered her note, that small, two-word note that he still couldn't burn. Zuko shrugged. "I don't know."

"You must feel something, Zuko."

He looked out onto the lake, trying to keep his breathing steady. A familiar stinging bit at his eyes, his throat somewhat dry. "I miss her."

Iroh put a hand on Zuko's shoulder, willing him to understand. "That's enough. That's all you have to know. If you care enough to miss her, you have to try."

"Try what?"

"Something! Anything, Zuko! One of you needs to get over your pride and be brutally honest. Be blunt. No more of these miscommunications. One of you has to take the first step, and I don't think Katara will. She seems rather reserved."

Zuko laughed as he reached to refill his tea. "Don't let her fool you. She might know how to wait, but when she's trying to make a point she's…" he tried to find a word for it, his lips quirking in a smile at the memory, "Lethal."

"That's the first time I've heard you laugh in months."

Zuko sipped his tea, thoroughly aware that it was true. He was tired of not knowing. Tired of feeling somehow responsible, and tired of blaming the rest of it on her. If he didn't do something now, he'd never know. And that would haunt him for the rest of his life. "Okay. I'll do it. But I'll need someone to run things while I'm gone."

"There was a time when it was supposed to be my throne, you know. I think I can hold it for a few weeks."

Zuko smiled at his uncle, shaking his head. "I still don't know what will come of this."

"With the best things, you never do."

* * *

_One month later…_

Aang ran into the house, another messenger hawk perched on his shoulder. "You guys! We all got a letter!"

Suki and Sokka were sitting at the table, but Katara was pinned to the couch, little Kyra napping in her lap. She stirred slightly at Aang's loud exclamation, but she calmed down easily enough. Aang walked over to Katara so she could hear as he read aloud.

_"Dear friends,_

_I'm not sure where you all are right now, but I'd like to invite you to join me at Ember Island for the anniversary of the end of the war. I think it's time we all had a vacation, and it's been too long since we've seen each other. Please let me know if you'll be able to celebrate with me_.

_I hope to hear from all of you soon,_

_Zuko."_

Sokka nearly jumped for joy. "Alright! That sounds like a great idea! We ended this war together, now let's celebrate it together."

Suki smiled in agreement. "It sure would be nice to be together again. I haven't even heard from Toph since we left her in the Earth Kingdom."

"Why are these words underlined?" Aang questioned aloud.

Katara waved him over to her, asking to see the letter. "What do you mean?"

"Right here, these two words. 'With me.' They're underlined."

Katara stared at the paper, and her heart skipped a beat. She knew exactly why they were underlined. He was reaching out to her in a way that only she would understand. She could barely contain her happiness…and her fear. She wanted nothing more than to see Zuko again, but they had a lot to talk about. And when they had to talk about real things, it usually led to fights.

Katara motioned to Aang to help her move Kyra. He helped shift the sleeping child onto the couch and Katara stood, taking the letter as he offered it. "I'll answer this, if that's okay."

"Sure."

Katara went to her room where she found parchment and ink. She dipped her brush, but was unsure how to answer. He hadn't said anything about Mai, not even back in the Fire Nation. And the last he knew, she and Aang were still together. She wanted nothing more than to talk everything through…but maybe a bit of caution wasn't the worst way to go. They would talk once she got there. This wasn't something to be discussed through letters. She nodded to herself, finally bringing the brush to the paper.

_Zuko,_

_Sokka, Suki, Aang and I are all in the South Pole. We'll take Appa and meet you there the day before the anniversary. Make sure you invite Toph, too. If you don't get a letter back from her in a couple weeks, send a messenger. I don't know if she has anyone to read her letters._

_It will be good to see you again._

_Katara_

She let the ink dry and folded the letter, bringing it downstairs to place it in the hawk's small bag. She took the bird outside and let it fly away, knowing full well that all of her hopes went with it.

For better or worse, she was going to see him again.

_Please. Please let it be for the better._


	9. Clarity

Zuko arrived at the house on Ember Island first, unsure when the others would arrive. He'd received confirmation from everyone. They would all be there, including Aang and Katara. He didn't know how things were between them, but honestly at this point, he didn't care. He and Katara were going to talk things out for real this time, and if this destiny Uncle Iroh was always talking about even remotely existed, he hoped and prayed that things would work out in his favor.

He walked through the halls, remembering the times they'd all spent there. Unsure if they would live to see the next day. Always looking over their shoulders for an enemy, and they'd had plenty. Strange to think how those terrifying days now brought a smile to his face.

He took a walk to the beach, relishing the feel of the sand between his toes. There really was just something about this beach, this whole place, that calmed him. His eyes fell upon the spot where this had all started, and a real smile broke out across his face as he looked at his surprise for Katara. He remembered the conversation with his uncle that had spawned it.

They'd been sitting at that tree, the bread for the turtleducks long gone. Zuko was asking for ideas, and somehow, Iroh had happened upon this. Zuko wasn't sure about it.

"Uncle, I thought you said 'We must let the ones we love go'. Aren't I supposed to wait and she if she returns to me? Why should I go out of my way to—"

"Because sometimes, Zuko, destiny needs a shove in the right direction. And because the biggest coward is a fool in love. If you want to be with her, an excuse to see her isn't enough. Do something big that she can't possibly misinterpret."

Zuko laughed to think back on those words. _Well, I guess this counts as something big._

He turned away from the beach and headed back for the house, pleased to see a boat in the distance as he did so. Someone was there.

When he reached the steps he saw just who it was. Toph stood in front of him, and she looked exactly the same, like not a day had passed since she was the "Melon Lord". Zuko laughed, opening his arms. "Toph. It's good to see you."

The small Earth Bender gave him a short hug, ending it with a playful shove. "You too, Zuko. Am I the first one here?"

"Yeah. I think everyone else was in the Southern Water Tribe. They should be here with Appa sometime today."

"No one invited me to the party in the South Pole."

Zuko laughed again, amazed at how easily he could laugh in this place. It was so much different than the palace. "Well if it makes you feel better, they didn't invite me either."

"Too busy running a country now, huh?"

"Something like that."

Toph threw her pack to the side as she created a seat for herself out of rock. Zuko sat beside her on the perfectly good bench she could have used, rolling his eyes at the Earth Bender's quirks. Some things just never change.

Zuko asked her what she'd been up to and she began her story, talking about the reconciliation with her parents, how she was running the Earth Bending competitions now. Apparently she was trying to get other kinds of Benders involved, to make some kind of tag-team event. Zuko nodded along like he was interested enough, but the longer they sat there, the more Zuko retreated inside his own head. He hadn't let himself feel it, but the closer he got to actually seeing her, the more nervous he became.

It wasn't long before Toph picked up on the change in his breathing patterns. "You okay, Sparky?"

"I'm fine, Toph."

"You just seem…nervous. Kinda twitchy."

He shrugged, trying to seem casual. "I'm not nervous. Why would I be nervous?"

"I dunno. Why would you be?"

If Toph could give a knowing stare, Zuko was sure this was it. He tried to find an acceptable excuse. "I just haven't seen everyone in a long time. It'll be good to catch up."

"Not too long ago, though. Right?"

He narrowed his eyes at her. "How do you know that?"

"Just a guess. Because I can feel that you're lying, I just don't know about what. But you're lying about something."

Zuko tried to give her a piece of the truth without revealing the whole thing. The last thing he needed was Toph sensing all of his personal business. "Not that it matters, but Katara and Aang came to visit me in the Fire Nation a few months ago."

"And how was that?"

"Fine."

"Oh, I don't think it was."

"Will you stop that?" Zuko stood, desperately looking for some water to stand in or something, anything to get Toph to quit doing her freaky Earth Bending lie detector.

"Okay, Zuko. Don't get your royal self all bent out of shape. I'll figure it out. Unless you wanna tell me why you're nervous about seeing Katara and Aang—"

"Toph!"

"Alright, alright. Jeesh," Toph laughed, glad to get a rise out of him. It was a favorite pastime that she missed from the old days. She felt a small wave in her toes and angled her head sideways. She recognized that large, lunging pattern. "They're here!"

Zuko felt his heart sink as he turned to look, and there they were, all sitting up to wave on top of Appa as he walked up to the house. Appa lay down, clearly exhausted from the trip, but the rest of them were too excited to be tired. Sokka was the first slide down. "Toph! Zuko!"

"Hey, Sokka!"

Sokka and Suki hugged Toph, and Sokka landed a good "how's it going" punch on Zuko's shoulder. Aang was the next down, after making sure Appa was alright, and he seemed warm enough to both Zuko and Toph. Zuko turned from all the congratulations to see Katara, in her usual Water Tribe dress, hair loopies and all. He could feel the relief flood through his body.

She looked exactly like he remembered, and yet, something was different. She seemed…nervous? What does she have to be nervous about? She stepped up to him, almost unsure what to say. "Hello, Zuko."

He tried to keep his distance, unsure if he could hug her or if that would be weird. Or too obvious. Too anything. He decided to stay where he was, nodding in her direction. "Katara. Good to see you again."

"You too."

The moment was interrupted by Sokka's big mouth, who was glancing around looking for another person. "Hey Zuko! Where's Mai? She inside or something?"

Zuko turned to Katara, his heavy gaze intimidating, like he wanted to say so much more than he was able. He glanced back to Sokka, his answer soft and clipped. "She's not coming. Mai and I aren't together anymore."

Katara wasn't ready for how her heart leapt at that. After their trip to the Fire Nation, she'd assumed that they were over, but she hadn't heard it confirmed. To hear that he was available, finally available to her after all this time…Katara's head was spinning. She mumbled a reply to fill the silence. "Oh…I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"It's alright."

Sokka whistled. "Oops. Awkward. Sooo, changing topics…who's up for a beach party?"

Aang perked up, glad they weren't continuing in the vein of awkward break-ups. "Yeah! Let's go!"

Zuko's eyes widened, but he schooled his features. It's fine. Everything would be fine. He just had to wait until he could pull Katara aside, and then they'd talk. Though as he watched everyone scamper down to the beach, haphazardly stripping to swim attire as they went, he wondered if they'd ever get that chance. _This all seemed so much easier when I planned it._

Katara ran faster than the rest of them to the beach, but it wasn't because she wanted to get there. She needed to think. She hadn't stopped blushing since she'd seen him. He looked tired. Exhausted, really. But she noticed how the light returned to his eyes when he saw her. It gave her hope. He was real and warm in front of her and it took everything within her to not wrap herself around him on the spot. And the way he looked at her when he finally told her about Mai…had he been doing the same thing she was all along? Too afraid to take the chance until now?

As she pulled off her dress, Katara was glad she'd put her swimming clothes on beneath it that morning, in case of this exact scenario. Gran-Gran's words came back to her as it fell to the ground, and she sighed. _You might be standing in the way of your own happiness, my love._

She glanced to Zuko as they all arrived on the beach, fully aware of exactly what stretch of beach they were on. The rest of the group was oblivious, but she knew. Just around the curve of that rock was where it had all begun. She squinted at it as she walked towards it, almost unsure of what she saw.

Around the corner of the rock was a small structure, not big enough to call a house, but a fairly sizeable cabin. It was quaint, and it looked new. She knew for a fact it hadn't been there a year ago, and there was a fire pit beside it. In the same place where…really? Did he do this on purpose?

She felt someone walk up behind her and turned to find a shirtless Zuko, his robe thrown over his shoulder. Great. As if she wasn't having enough trouble not touching him before, now he was shirtless, still toned as ever. Her voice caught in her throat. "What is this?"

He shrugged, but she saw right through him. "I remember how we all used to love this beach. Thought it might be nice to be closer to the waves."

It was all too much. The way he was acting, the cabin...it was making her hope. She needed answers, now. She felt her eyes start to dampen, unable to look at him. "Zuko, why'd you do this?"

It wasn't exactly the response he was expecting. It made him fearful. Unsure. He reached out a hand as if to touch her shoulder, but he pulled back before he got there. Touching her was a bad idea right now, especially with her wearing practically nothing but her bindings, golden skin glowing in the sun. His voice was low. "I thought you'd like it. My mistake."

He turned and headed toward the others, head held high.

She started to call after him. "That wasn't what I—Zuko!"

But he'd already joined the others in the water. She steadied herself, reassuring herself that all wasn't lost. This just wasn't their time to talk. She'd find time later. She'd _make_ time.

* * *

They stayed on the beach long past the sunset before they were finally tired enough to return to the house. They all changed back into their clothes, Zuko into his old red shirt and pants rather than any Fire Lord robes, and Katara let her hair out, hoping it would air dry before bed. When they entered the house, dinner was already on the table. Sokka's mouth almost hit the floor. "How did this happen? Is it a _magic table?_ "

"More like magic servants, but yeah."

Toph laughed. "Guess it's good to be the Fire Lord, huh?"

"Sometimes."

Katara noticed him glance her way and straightened, trying her best to walk calmly to sit on the ground. There was a small circular table with lots of pillows, and it looked extraordinarily comfortable. And after all the travel and playing in the water, she was starving. It looked like a similar spread to that fateful dinner in the Fire Nation. She sighed as she helped herself. _Hopefully Zuko can make it through this meal without harassing me._

It seemed Zuko was on his best behavior, because there wasn't a single quip thrown her way. It was amazing how natural it all felt. They all caught up, telling stories about their time apart, and before they knew it, their plates were empty and their stomachs were full. Zuko stood to head towards the kitchens. "I'm going to make some tea. You guys want some?"

Everyone agreed as he left for the kitchen. Katara watched him go, physically in pain with the strain of having to wait this long to talk to him. She saw Toph smile privately to herself, turning her sightless gaze on Katara.

"What?"

Toph held up her hands in defense. "Nothing, Sweetness. Absolutely nothing."

It had been too long since she'd been around Toph. She'd nearly forgotten about her ridiculously sensitive powers. It made her straighten up where she sat, consciously regulating her breathing, even as Zuko entered with the tea and handed her a steaming cup. She accepted it with quiet thanks, unable to hide the yearning in her eyes. He saw it clearly, and it surprised him a little. He had no idea what to think with her. Ever. It was the most maddening and exciting thing about her.

Once he'd served everyone, Zuko took his seat and raised his cup. "I know it's a few hours early, but I think this deserves a toast. To the first year of peace!"

Aang raised his cup and happily added, "Hear hear!"

"Yeah, happy anniversary, world! You're welcome!" Sokka cheered, teacup raised in the air. The group joined him in laughter, but the word he used got Toph thinking.

"Hey, that's not the only happy anniversary we've got to celebrate. To Aang and Katara!" Toph raised her cup high, but noticed a shocking lack of enthusiasm for her toast. Zuko looked down and raised his cup half-heartedly, but noticed that no one else joined him. Really?

Toph felt four heartbeats jump in an awkward silence. "Uh…guys? Something I should know?"

Aang and Katara exchanged an embarrassed glance. Suki ran her finger around the rim of her cup. Sokka whistled and looked away. Aang rolled his eyes, finally breaking the tension, an awkward chuckle escaping as he spoke. "Actually Toph, Katara and I aren't really…together anymore."

The Earth Bender's eyes grew wide, her face the very picture of embarrassment. It quickly turned to anger. "And you didn't think to tell me that? When did this happen?"

Katara shrugged in apology. "A few months ago?"

"A few _months_ ago? Didn't occur to you to send me a _letter_ or something?"

Katara's eyes narrowed. "Toph. You can't read."

"Oh. Right," Toph piped down, but was still flustered, stumbling over her words. "Well, still. I could have someone read it to me, you know. How d'you think I got Zuko's letter about the trip? Now I just look like an idiot."

"It's not a big deal, Toph. Really. Katara and I are fine, it was a while ago. We're still friends."

"Glad to hear it."

Katara glanced at Zuko as he spoke, blue eyes locking with gold. She swore she could see lightning in his eyes; she felt it crackle between them. She lowered her gaze back to her teacup, sipping it slowly.

Zuko looked to follow her example, but found his cup empty. He reached for the pot in the center of their circle and stood. "I'll make some more tea."

She watched him leave, fully aware of the blush still painting her cheeks bright red. She'd wanted to tell him, but there hadn't really been time since they'd arrived. Leave it to Toph to find a way to bring it up in the least graceful way possible. Aang stood as well, taking his cup with him and following Zuko off. "I'm gonna help."

Sokka turned to Suki, confused. "How much help does he really need to make tea?"

Katara snapped, entirely not in the mood. "Shut up, Sokka."

* * *

Aang walked into the kitchen to find Zuko measuring out tealeaves, heating the water with his other hand. Aang leaned against the doorway, watching his friend. Apparently Katara hadn't kept Zuko informed, for some reason or another. But they needed to talk. Aang didn't just want to stay friends with Katara. It was important that he and Zuko bury any sort of ill will they might have against each other. He was well aware that the fate of the Fire Nation depended on it.

Aang started the conversation as abruptly as possible. "I know."

Zuko turned to see the young Airbender, his eyebrow quirked in question. "What?"

"About you and Katara. She told me. I know it all. And I meant what I said in there. We're all still friends here. Even me and you."

Zuko was astonished by the Avatar's maturity. It seemed the past year had really grown him. Zuko felt humbled by this show of peace. He had no problem with Aang, he'd never meant to hurt him. It was just bad timing. Bad timing all around. Zuko rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly before turning back to the tea. "Does it help if I say I'm sorry?"

"I guess. Katara's done her share of apologizing, but I really only needed to hear it once. I guess it makes her feel better."

"Yeah."

Aang took the pot from Zuko, creating a small flame in his hand, heating it so Zuko could put the tealeaves away. Zuko could tell there was something Aang wanted to say, so he turned and waited, ready to listen. Finally Aang spoke up. "Just…do me a favor. Take care of her, okay?"

Zuko wasn't sure what to do with that. Aang was acting like he and Katara were together already. What exactly had she told him to make him think that? He answered as honestly as he could. "I want to. But I don't know if she wants me to."

"She's had a hard year, especially with her grandmother. She's got a lot to sort out."

"We all do, I guess. In our own ways."

Aang smiled at that. "Yeah. I think this is what's like to grow up."

Zuko returned his smile, taking the pot from his friend. "Must be."

* * *

Katara didn't know what they were talking about in there, but it made her nervous. It wasn't fair that Aang should get to talk to Zuko before her. She was a wreck, completely trapped inside her own head.

Toph cocked her head at Katara. "You okay?"

"Why do you ask?"

"You just seem…fidgety."

Katara was losing control and she knew it. She couldn't wait any longer. "I think I'm just antsy. I'm gonna take a walk. Alone."

Suki and Sokka exchanged glances, but Sokka merely shrugged, still finishing off a bit of rice on his plate. Suki didn't have Toph's acute senses, but she knew Katara. And there was definitely something off about her. Maybe she just needed to talk. "I'm gonna follow her."

"She said she wanted to go alone."

"I know. I just want to make sure she's okay. Something's up."

Suki excused herself and planted a kiss on Sokka's cheek, jogging out of the room to catch up with her friend.

Aang and Zuko arrived to see Suki dashing out of the house. Aang questioned Sokka. "What's up?"

"I don't know. Something with Katara, apparently."

Zuko's eyes narrowed, but he moved to serve the tea. _I'll find her. I always do._

* * *

Suki found Katara around the side of the house, perched in the shadows of one of the outside corridors. There was space beside her on the bench, but as Suki got closer, she heard her crying. She was muttering something to herself.

"Get it together, Katara. First time you see him in six months and you run away crying? Real nice."

Suki reached out an arm to touch her on the shoulder, and Katara inhaled sharply, afraid. She relaxed a bit when she saw it was just Suki, hastily brushing her cheeks dry. "I'm sorry. You scared me."

Suki didn't know what she expected to find, but it certainly wasn't this. "Katara, what's wrong? You've been acting weird since we got here."

Katara took a shuddering breath, trying to calm herself. "I know. I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize, I'm just…is there anything I can do?"

Katara looked up at her friend and saw the face of someone who might be able to help. She couldn't exactly ask Gran-Gran. Maybe Suki would know what to do, how to keep it together. "It's a long story."

"I don't mind. Start at the beginning."

Katara laughed to herself. "That's the thing. We're kind of at the beginning."

Suki looked at her in confusion, but Katara just slid over on the bench, making room for her friend. She told her about the play and the conversation with Aang. That night on the beach. What happened in the Fire Nation. And how she hid like a coward in the South Pole because she was too afraid that he'd already given up on her. To her credit, Suki listened to it all with sympathetic ears, never once judging Katara for anything she'd done. When the story was over, Suki thought for a long time, trying to find the right words to say.

"Katara, listen to me. You clearly want to see him, right?"

"Yeah. I really do. We have so much to figure out."

"Well, you can't really have that conversation with him and get anything done unless you know what you want first. So tell me. What do you want?"

"I don't know, Suki. I've tried to forget him for a whole year, but I can't. I don't even know what it is…I've never felt like this before. He makes me bold. I feel like I can do anything." She stood and crossed her arms, turning back around to face Suki. "I can remember every time he's ever touched me, every kiss. It replays over and over in my head, like it's on some kind of loop. Everything reminds me of him, the way he fights, the way he talks, how he laughs, smirks…how he challenges me. How he holds me. Spirits, Suki. I've never felt safer than when he holds me. And the way he cried for me when I first saved him from the lightning…I can't explain it."

"You're in love with him."

She looked at her friend, who was smiling up at her in a knowing stare. The more she thought about it, the more Katara knew it was true. She nodded, trying the words out on her tongue. "I know I am. I've known for a long time. I'm in love with Zuko, and I always have been." She looked at Suki in a tearful plea. "But that solves nothing. What do I do?"

"You should probably tell him."

Katara gasped and turned toward the voice. It was far too deep to be Suki. She knew that voice all too well. Peering into the shadows, she saw Zuko, arms crossed as he leaned against the wall.

Katara turned bright red as he took a step into the light. His eyes were golden fire, intense with emotion, hoping against hope that this was real. She met his gaze and froze. She knew that look. He'd caught her and there was no taking it back. He knew.

Zuko's eyes slipped closed, taking a moment to steady himself. He took a deep breath and cleared his throat, opening his eyes to meet hers, piercing her with his gaze. "I'll be in the cabin if you've got something to say."

Katara watched him go, completely unable to speak. She looked to her friend; Suki's eyebrows shot straight to her hairline. She was just as shocked as Katara.

Suki spoke first. "What will you do? Are you going?"

Katara stood frozen, too overwhelmed to think. Suki tried another angle. "Well…what would happen if you did? Does he love you too?"

Katara sighed and moved to sit on the bench, covering her face with her hands. "I think he did. Once."

Suki let out a long breath. "Katara, how come you never told anyone?"

"I told Gran-Gran."

"Because she pried it out of you. Come on, Katara. You've been trying to figure this out all by yourself for a year, you've got to be tired of it by now."

Katara couldn't hold it in any longer. Tears streamed down her face as she opened up. "I'm exhausted, Suki. I thought I was doing the right thing staying with Aang at first. I thought eventually it would start to feel natural, but it never happened. Everything felt forced, but I told myself it didn't matter because I'd already blown my chance with Zuko. But then we went to Fire Nation and…and everything came back so quickly…and now we're all here and he's building cabins where we first kissed, and then he finally admits that he's not with Mai, and I'm not with Aang either, but we just started being friends again and I don't know if Zuko can forgive me for—"

"Katara, come here." Suki sat beside her friend, taking Katara in her arms, holding her tightly and letting her cry. Katara was always thinking of others, thinking of what she could do for them to make their lives easier. No one ever stopped to ask Katara what she wanted. "You think too much, you know that?"

Katara laughed despite her tears, nodding against Suki's shoulder. "I know."

Eventually she pulled away, her sobs slowing as she wiped her eyes. "I'm sorry, Suki. I'm such a mess, I don't know what I'm doing anymore."

"It's alright, you have nothing to apologize for. Just answer one question for me, okay? And I don't want you to think about what Aang wants or what you think Zuko wants, or what anyone else wants, okay?"

Katara shook her head and waited for the question.

"Are you happy without him?"

She sniffed, still calming down from her tears. The truth settled in her chest, releasing some kind of weight as she finally admitted it. "No. I'm really not."

"Then you have to talk to Zuko. Because if he ever loved you, he'll hear what you have to say."

* * *

Zuko could barely contain the joy that was growing inside him. _She loves me._ His heart had been beating out of his chest since he'd heard her say it. For all he'd hoped for this, he never thought it would happen. With all they'd been through, with all the missed connections, all the doubt, all the everything…he was sure he'd lost her. But he'd heard her say it. _She loves me. Agni, she loves me._

But she was still scared, and he had a good idea of what. Still too afraid of what other people would think, about how their relationship might affect the rest of the world. He knew full well what his Council would think of her. What many of his people might say about him because of her. And he didn't care. He was willing to do it if it meant being with her. Because trying to be Fire Lord without her…it was slowly killing him. He needed her spark, that charge that he felt between them when they touched.

But as much as he needed her, he couldn't just catch her in his arms and carry her away. They'd been down this road before, and she rejected him. If she wanted them to be together now, she needed to come to him.

He sat on the steps to the cabin, staring out into the ocean. This is how it had started, a little over one year ago, with a walk by the ocean to clear his head. And she found him. A smile ghosted over his lips as he remembered. Her offer to heal him. Her thumbs smoothing across his burning cheeks. Her tentative kisses. Her sighs of pleasure that had worked their way into his heart.

He sighed nervously. It was up to her now. If she didn't come, he would leave in the morning, the others and his vacation be damned. This was the last chance he could give her.

He continued to sit, watching the waves. It had been a while since he'd left her and Suki. He watched the tides roll in for what seemed like hours, waiting in agony for her to show. Eventually he couldn't hold the thoughts back, and he felt his sorrow set in. _She's not coming. After all of this, she's not coming._ It was more than he could take.

He cleared his throat, ignoring the stinging in his eyes as he stood, ready to leave. But as he turned the corner of the cabin, his eyes fell on the most beautiful sight.

Katara was standing by the ocean, staring off at the distant waves. The tides rolled in to her ankles, her free-flowing hair gently tossed by the wind. Her golden skin reflected the moonlight; it gave her an ethereal glow. It stole the breath from his lungs.

_She's here. She came._

He felt a rush of conflicting emotions as he saw her. Joy and frustration. Happiness and pain. And want. Agni, but he wanted her. As he watched her, he felt doubt start to fill his mind, unbidden and unwanted. He heard all of her reasons over again. Could they really make this work? Were they crazy? Could they really make the world accept them, together?

Katara seemed to sense his presence and turned to him, eyes radiant in the moonlight, lips quirked in an apologetic smile.

_Yes. This is worth anything._

He cleared his throat, frozen to the ground a few feet from her. "I didn't think you were coming."

Katara glanced back to the ocean, struggling to keep her voice even. "I didn't know if I should."

"But you came anyways?"

"Yes. I did."

"Why?"

She met his gaze, features softening. "Because you asked me to. More or less."

He breathed a laugh, rubbing the back of his neck. He focused on her smile, watching it fade to something much deeper. They had so much time to make up for. This was the first they'd really talked in six long months. _Where do I even start?_ "How's your grandmother?"

"She's fine now. Thanks for asking."

"Of course. I'm glad she's well."

"And Mai?"

He felt a twinge of guilt as she brought up Mai. He really should've told her sooner. "We ended things shortly after you left. But yes, she's doing well."

Katara tried to keep her tone light. She was curious, that was all. "Not sure why you didn't tell me sooner."

"I thought you were still with Aang until a couple hours ago. It seems it didn't occur to you to fill me in, either."

Katara's voice was low as she admitted, "I didn't know if you'd want to hear from me."

"If I were smarter, maybe I wouldn't."

She didn't expect that reaction. Something was off. His words were short, self-depracating. Something had changed. "Zuko, what's wrong?"

He knew he shouldn't bring this up now, but there was no stopping it. He had to find a way to banish that doubt, to get rid of her excuses that made too much sense. And it was more than the politics. He had to tell her the truth, had to tell her what her uncertainty had done to him.

His words were strong, but his voice was soft. "Do you have any idea how infuriating you are? Ever since that night by the fire, I feel like I've had to chase you and pressure you into telling me anything. It messes with my head. It makes me wonder if…" he trailed off, not wanting to even finish the thought aloud. "Never mind."

"What?"

"I said, never mind."

"And I asked you, what? Tell me," he wouldn't meet her gaze, and it frustrated her beyond belief. Could he still not talk to her about his feelings? She marched over to him and turned his head, forcing him to look at her. "What does it make you wonder?"

The power of her touch after all this time…it disarmed him. Made him tell her the truth. "It makes me wonder if you ever had feelings for me at all."

Katara's eyes narrowed in disbelief, but his voice was so pitiful she knew he was in earnest. The face between her palms was full of pain and worry. _Part of him still thinks I might run from this._ "But you just heard me tell Suki—"

"You're right. I did hear you tell Suki. You said you're in love with me. That you always have been. But that doesn't make sense to me."

"Why not?"

Zuko tried to keep a lid on his emotions, but clearly they were not to be contained tonight. He pulled away from Katara and finally let it all out. "Because if you've always loved me, you've got a whole year you need to explain to me. A year of me sitting back and telling myself that this was what you wanted, and I needed to make the best of the situation," His gaze was piercing, stripping through any excuses she might have prepared. His voice faltered and cracked as he spoke, betraying the depth of his sadness. "A year of trying to replace you, telling myself I didn't need you. That you were happy, no matter what you left in your note. Because you couldn't even tell me that yourself. You had to leave it so I'd get it once you were gone. Like you were never coming back."

His words touched her deeper than she could express. The need to reconcile was heavy in her heart. "I didn't know."

He didn't respond. He could only stare at her, hoping the moonlight wasn't reflecting his tears.

She tried again. "Zuko, I'm sorry."

"I don't want you to apologize."

"Then what? What do you want?"

"I want _you_ , Katara. I always have, since that first night, right here. I thought that was clear."

His response piqued a multitude of responses in Katara, all at the same time. She had so many things she could quip back with, so many ways this could turn into a full-fledged fight. But she was so tired of fighting, and she could tell from his confessions that Zuko was too. She wanted to be with him. Period. But the mistakes she'd made in the past still hung heavy around them, weighing them down. She loved him. Now it was her job to convince him.

She stepped towards him again, eyes never leaving his. She took hold of his arms, ignoring his wary stare, wrapping them around herself so he was holding her. Tentatively, she ran a hand through his hair, watching his eyes slip closed at the sensation, feeling the increase of speed in his breathing against her chest. She curled her hand around to rest at the back of his neck. Her voice was soft and low, coaxing but seductive. "Look at me."

His golden eyes shone in the moonlight. She stared straight into them as she spoke. "I love you, Zuko. I know you're scared, and so am I. But I'm not leaving you, not again. Not ever," she reached up and placed a tender kiss over his scar; the hitch in his breath was warm on her face. She pulled away just slightly to see that his eyes had closed at her kiss. She moved her other hand from his arm, pleased to see that he made no move to break their embrace, and cupped his other cheek. "Okay? I know I've made mistakes in the past, but I want to make it up to you. I love you. And I want to be with you, if you'll have me."

His eyes opened, and she watched something in them change. Her confession had satisfied the part of him that needed it, but there was a different emotion behind the relief and the happiness. He almost seemed mischievous, his eyes darkening with desire as he studied her face. "Oh I'll have you, alright."

His lips crashed down onto hers, and all she could do was sigh. Yes. Relief flooded her body, her mouth fully meeting his. Their moan was a duet as they kissed, _finally_ kissing again, letting go of their pain in a frustrated embrace. He almost whimpered as he pulled her flush against his body, the strain in his arms evident as he struggled to pull her closer. She broke their kiss, gasping for air, but he just moved to her neck.

Katara was on fire, nearly grinding out her words in ecstasy. " _Spirits_ , I missed this…" Zuko started to pull at the tie on her dress, not caring that they were still on the beach. He couldn't get close enough to her.

Katara could feel his desperation, and she reciprocated. She was done waiting. She wanted him. Now. She took control, lacing his hands with hers and pulling away from his embrace, giving no explanation, but heading for the cabin. Zuko watched her hips sway as they walked, following her inside. He caught her in his arms, slamming the door behind them. He pressed Katara against it, grasping her wrists in one of his hands and pinning them above her head. She slid up the door slightly as he caught her lips for a soul-searing kiss, one that made her whimper and writhe against him. He exhaled with desire, pinning her to the door with his hips.

Zuko's need for possession took hold of him. After all this time of wondering…he wanted to hear it again, to make her cry out as she said it. He slipped a hand into her dress, caressing her breast and relishing in her moans. His mouth was at her ear as he brushed his hand across her aching peaks. "Say it again."

She was in no position to argue, chest heaving for air to control the sensations he was creating in her. Her breathy voice answered him. "I love you."

She was rewarded with a nip on the neck, sending her reeling. Katara jumped up and locked her legs around Zuko's torso to steady herself, then pushing off the door, using the momentum to guide them towards the bed. Zuko let her fall on the mattress, quickly covering her body with his, tasting her mouth with his tongue. Their hands fought with the opening to her dress, getting in each other's way in their haste to rid Katara of her clothes. Zuko finally won out, tossing the garment over his shoulder as she rid him of his shirt, their kiss only breaking to toss it aside.

She ran her hands over his well-muscled arms and chest, loving the sound of his halted breathing. To affect him this much made her feel powerful. Bold. Wanted. She curled her arms around his neck, pulling him down to her. She sighed as she felt all the places they touched skin-on-skin, but there was still far too much clothing in the way for her liking.

When she felt him straddle her with his knees and pull away from her kiss, she assumed he wanted to start on her bindings. She leaned up on her elbows to give him better access, toes curling in anticipation. She watched him as he worked, unwrapping the linen at her chest with desire written in every feature. When she was fully exposed to him he sat back and admired her, greedily drinking in the beautiful sight that was Katara. His gaze took every liberty; she felt admired under his eyes. She captured his lips in a kiss, pulling back just slightly. Her lips brushed his as she spoke.

"Say it back."

Zuko's lips quirked with an idea. His gleaming eyes betrayed the amusement he gained from toying with her. He rolled his hips against hers, trying to distract her with her own body. "Say what back?"

She knew exactly what Zuko was playing at. He was making her pay for all those times she went back and forth, all of her old uncertainties. _Two can play that game._ She rolled her hips with him, matching his rhythm. "Tell me you love me."

He feigned confusion, but she noticed the strain in his features as she rolled against him, struggling to keep a straight face. "Why?"

"Because you haven't yet, don't think I didn't notice." Katara shot him a look, fully aware he was messing with her, but in her state of arousal, she wasn't having any of it.

He continued to goad her. "That's a bit demanding, Katara. Or what?"

"Or I'll make you say it. I can be rather convincing." Her hand started a lazy trail up his thigh, lightly brushing up and over his stomach before going down the other leg.

Her deliberate avoidance of pressure where he needed it most only fuelled the fire. "If that's supposed to be a threat, it's a terrible one," her hand glided over his stomach again, this time hovering just above his obvious arousal, "I've got fond memories of your skills of persuasion."

"Do you?"

"A few, yeah."

"Too bad." Katara pulled her hand back sharply and shifted suddenly, catching Zuko off guard, flipping their positions so she was straddling him. Her face broke into a satisfied grin at his look of surprise. She pinned his arms down, holding him tight between her toned thighs. They both laughed as he struggled, but she held him fast. She was beaming at him. "Say it, Zuko."

She watched as his laughter faded and his face softened, his eyes growing brighter, his joking manner gone. In its place was a tender seriousness. He looked at her and saw all he needed in this world. His tenderness touched her deeply. She loosened her grip on his hands and he stroked her face, almost marveling at the fact that she was there, really there. She leaned into his hand; she could hear the contentment in his voice, and it warmed her to the core. "I love you, Katara. So much it hurts."

Her eyes instantly filled with tears at his confession, and even though she'd said it already, she found she couldn't say it enough. "I love you, too."

Zuko leaned up until he was sitting, taking Katara's face between his hands, kissing her slowly. Gently. For once, they didn't have to rush. They didn't have to hide. They could take their time with each other. Truly enjoy each other. And Zuko meant to enjoy every single inch of her. She stroked his tongue with her own, deepening the kiss as her arms locked around his head. He slowly turned them, gently lying her down on her back, starting a trek down her body that Katara remembered all too well.

She felt him everywhere, from the first kiss he pressed over her pulse to the way his teeth grazed the curve of her hip. She'd never wanted him so badly, her body already tightly wound by the time he slipped her undergarments off her legs. He could feel the tension in her limbs; it wouldn't take her long. He kissed up the insides of each leg before finally settling where she needed him most, rewarding her patience with a long lick against her center.

Katara's back arched, hands fisted in the thin sheets beneath her. Zuko held her hips down, swirling and strafing the tight bundle of nerves at her core. He reached a hand up to tweak her nipple, his eyes on her at all times, not wanting to miss a second of the erotic show she was putting on. The crease of her eyes, the sounds she made when he found just the right spot—small hiccups of pleasure that tore from her throat, it all fed his own arousal, steadily growing as he worked her.

He ran a finger along her sex, slowly circling her opening. He felt her hand tangle in his hair, guiding him back up her body.

"Do it," she whispered huskily, giving him a quick kiss as her hand met his between her legs, giving him the permission he needed to continue.

"It might hurt."

"Okay."

Zuko lay beside her, cradling her sex in his hand, slowly kissing her neck as he slid a finger inside her. Katara felt a small twinge, but nothing too painful. She was quickly distracted by the overwhelming pleasure of it, the satisfying stoke of Zuko's hand, the warmth of his mouth as it covered her nipple, the patterns he traced with his tongue. She arched against him as he started to move, encouraging his subtle thrusts by dragging his mouth to hers. He swallowed her moans as he added another finger, the feeling of Katara riding his hand almost enough to send him over the edge.

He rubbed her with his thumb as he stroked her, desperate to bring her release, finding the place inside her that made her tense and tight, the place that made her meet his strokes with the seductive roll of her hips. He heard the change in her breathing and thrust his fingers once, twice more against her as she finally exploded around him, his name a cry on her lips as she came.

It took a few moments for Katara to come back to reality. When she finally opened her eyes and turned, she found Zuko's heated gaze waiting for her, struggling between giving her time and wanting more. She smiled at him, momentarily satisfied, kissing him gratefully as her hand lightly brushed his stomach. She felt his muscles twitch beneath her fingers as she dared lower, slipping beneath the waist of his pants until he was hot and hard in her hand. She watched all of his barriers fall. There were no walls between them anymore—they would hide nothing from each other. She watched him shudder as she stroked him, wanting to bring him the same pleasure he'd brought her. A desperate hand grabbed her wrist, stilling her movements. "Don't."

"What?"

"Just…trust me. Don't."

Zuko rested his forehead against hers as he regained his composure, breathing deeply to keep some semblance of control. He wanted her too badly to let her finish him off so quickly. He pressed a kiss into her hair as he stood, shuffling his pants and undergarments to the ground. She felt a chill on her skin as he stood, missing the heat of his body immediately.

He wasn't gone long. He lay down on top of her, bracing his weight on his arms beside her head. He covered her body with his, pulling a light sheet over them both, and she felt his arousal hot against her leg. She felt strangely nervous, but also excited, her body recognizing this primal need and pumping desire through her bloodstream. She looked up at him through hooded lids, reaching up for a tender kiss. She pulled away and smiled, rolling her hips against him as she spoke. "I'm ready."

He settled between her legs, running a hand up her leg. "You're sure?"

"Yes."

"Thank Agni."

She breathed a laugh at his obvious relief, her amusement turning to sighs as he stroked her with his hand. Zuko positioned himself, taking a deep breath to steady himself as he slowly pressed into her, trying his best not to hurt her. He pushed until he was fully inside her, completely in awe of the feeling of completion. It was like coming home. His head fell to her shoulder, amazed by the feeling of joining with Katara. Her body was warm and wet; he reveled in it, this most intimate embrace, trying his best not to move.

It was different than his fingers, but not painful. The stretch felt delicious, Zuko filling her, rubbing against her in all the right places. Being this close to him, cradling his body with hers as he brushed light kisses all over her face and neck…it was perfect. They fit perfectly. She felt her hips tip instinctively upward and Zuko tensed, trying not to meet her movements in case she was uncomfortable.

"You okay?"

The sound of his heavy breathing in her ear betrayed how much he wanted her. She never wanted it to end. "More than okay."

"Good."

Slowly but surely, Zuko started to move, a rolling motion that Katara was familiar with. She started to meet his movements, thrust for thrust, and a moan escaped from deep in her throat. Her nails bit into his shoulders as they moved together, gradually picking up the pace as they rocked against each other, the friction growing with every stroke. Zuko's lips found hers as he smoothed his hand through her hair; she met his kiss with just as much passion, amazed at how he stoked the fire deep inside her. She felt like the ocean, waves cresting and crashing against each other, moving in rhythm. She felt a deeper spasm coming on, one that had her clenching around him as he moved; Zuko groaned into her mouth, knowing he wouldn't last much longer.

He was determined to bring her with him, to bring her such excruciating pleasure that she would know how much she meant to him. Every kiss, every stroke, every caress was a declaration of love. Of adoration. Of appreciation. Of how very much he needed her in his life.

She could feel the spasms starting, but it wasn't enough. She panted out a plea as she hooked her legs around him. "Zuko, _please…_ "

Katara didn't know what she needed, but she knew that he could give it to her. Zuko increased their speed, pulling all the way out just to slam back into her again and again, never breaking their rhythm. His hand reached between them and found the tight bundle of nerves begging for his attention; she nearly screamed as he rubbed her, in perfect time with every stroke as they drove faster and faster towards oblivion. Finally she felt it, a wave that rocked her hard against his body, pulling him even deeper inside herself. Her arms locked around his neck, her quaking legs biting into his hips as she came.

Feeling her come undone around him pushed him over the edge. Zuko was about to pull out when he heard her breathy whisper, her hips still meeting his. "It's fine."

"No, I shouldn't—"

"Trust me, it's fine. Let go."

She gently clenched herself around him, nipping lightly at his neck as her hands smoothed down his back. It was more than he could take. Zuko stiffened against her, a guttural groan escaping him as he came, spilling himself into her, bright lights exploding behind his eyelids. Utterly spent, Zuko collapsed on top of her, still buried inside her warmth.

Their bodies had a subtle sheen, a fine layer of sweat that made their skin stick together as they caught their breaths. With the last of his strength, Zuko lifted himself to press a kiss to her forehead, pulling out of her, appreciating her gasp as she felt the loss of his size within her. He pulled her into his arms so they were spooning back to front, throwing a leg over hers, an arm around her waist, burying his face in her hair.

Katara regained the ability to speak first, a thoroughly contented smile playing upon her lips as she snuggled against him. "Zuko…that was—"

"Pretty. Damn. Amazing."

"Yeah."

She felt him laugh into her neck, a throaty chuckle that was music to her ears. They lay like that for a few moments before Katara disentangled herself, walking to the other room and happy to find it was a kitchen. She found a basin of water and discreetly cleansed herself. Zuko shook his head as he realized what she was doing. _Serious advantages to being a Water Bender._

Katara returned rather quickly, immediately moving into his arms, facing him this time, her head nestled against his chest. Zuko absently traced the full curve of her hip with the tips of his fingers, appreciating how even after all that, she still shivered at his touch. She snuggled even closer, the tip of her nose running along his cheek before she kissed him, deep and long.

Zuko kept expecting her to stop, but she didn't let up, coaxing his mouth to open for her tongue. She eventually rolled to straddle him, hands framing his face as she pulled away. He arched an eyebrow at her. "What are you doing?"

"You made it very clear that I have lots of time to make up for," she pressed a kiss to his cheek, then his neck, continuing as she spoke. "And I think you mentioned something about 'fond memories'…"

Katara continued kissing down his chest as a baffled, but willing, Zuko combed his fingers through her hair. As she kissed lower and lower, Zuko felt his body responding, bewitched by the insatiable Water Bender running her tongue over his lightning scar.

He smirked to himself, amending a thought he'd had so many nights ago, back in the Fire Nation.

_If this is how she wants to make up, I am very fine with that._


	10. Reality

Suki woke with the sun on her face, a smile spreading across her lips as the birds welcomed the dawn. She stretched her limbs, somewhat sore; her eyes flicked to her side, and her smile widened as she remembered exactly why she was so sore.

As if on cue, Sokka snorted in his sleep, rolling over to curl his arm around Suki. She shook her head lovingly, pressing a kiss to his cheek as she carefully crawled from the bed, draping his arm over a pillow in her stead. She closed the door silently behind her, softly padding to the kitchen to get a cup of water.

On her way back, Suki peaked her head around a corner, listening for noise in the empty hall. Finding none, she crossed to Katara's door, rapping her knuckles gently against the wood. No response. Curiosity got the best of Suki as she opened the door, just a slice, revealing a very made, very empty bed.

Suki's lips curled into a smirk. Nice, Katara.

She sipped her water, retreating from the door, and headed for her room where Sokka was sleeping. Or where he had been sleeping.

As she closed the door behind her, Suki noticed that Sokka was now upright in bed, rubbing sleep from his eyes.

"Suki?"

"Yeah?"

"You weren't here."

She smiled at her boyfriend, pleased to see that after all this time he still coveted his mornings with her. "I just went to get some water. Sorry if I woke you, you can go back to sleep."

"No, it's fine. I'm up now," Sokka stretched his arms above his head, swinging his feet to the ground as he stood. "Katara's probably up making breakfast by now anyway. She promised to make my favorite."

A shock of nervousness ran down Suki's spine. She wasn't entirely positive what happened between Zuko and Katara last night, but she did know that whatever it was, the last thing they needed was Sokka in one of his overprotective fits. Suki wracked her brain for an excuse. "Uh…no."

"No what?"

"No. You can't leave this room."

Sokka's eyebrows raised in confusion. "Umm…why?"

Suki frantically latched onto the only idea she had. Somewhat awkwardly, she shifted her weight and popped her hip, crossing her arms under her chest. "Because…I'm not done with you yet."

That got Sokka's attention. His eyes bugged, but only for a moment. A slow smile spread over his face, his eyes alight with humor. "Really?"

Suki could tell she had him, and she grew more confident as she looped her arms around his neck, pressing her body against his. Sokka's hands went tentatively to her hips, running his fingers along the waist of her pants. He swallowed hard at Suki's look, eyes full of fire as she smirked at him. "Yep."

He leaned down for a heated kiss as Suki slowly guided him down, back into bed, his hands tugging at the tie on her shirt. Suki's final thought before she was lost to sensation was of Katara, her shirt falling lightly to the floor as she sighed.

_Katara, wherever you are, you owe me one._

* * *

Zuko felt his inner fire rise with the sun, and as always it stirred him from sleep. But he didn't feel the usual weight settle over him. He felt…happy. Complete. Like he was ready to face the day. He turned to his side expecting to find Katara asleep, but a pair of bright blue eyes was already awake and waiting for him.

She curled closer as she realized he was up, holding his hand in the space between their faces. She ran her fingers along his knuckles and pressed a soft kiss to their joined hands. His voice was rough and gravelly from sleep. "G'morning."

Katara couldn't stop smiling. He was adorable with bedhead. "Morning."

"How'd you sleep?"

"Very well. Very warm," she laughed, commenting on his obvious body heat.

"It's a hazard, I guess."

"I'll get used to it."

Zuko beamed at her, pressing a kiss to the back of her hand. She snuggled closer. "You look like you rested well."

"I did," he exhaled deeply at the realization, "Better than I have in a long time."

Her brows creased slightly in concern. "Have you really been sleeping so poorly?"

Zuko nodded, sighing heavily as he turned to his back, staring at the ceiling. "There's always so much to do. I never feel like I have enough answers."

"You should let me help with that."

"Help with what?"

"When we get to the Fire Nation. You should let me help with whatever it is that's stressing you out. You looked so exhausted when we got here yesterday," she ran her fingers gently over his face, taking extra care with his scar. "I want to help."

Zuko turned slowly, purpose in his eyes. He wanted to believe what he'd heard, but time had turned him cautious. "What do you mean by 'when we get to the Fire Nation?'"

She smiled at him, shaking her head. "That I'm coming with you. Obviously."

He claimed her lips with a quick kiss, his hand still in her hair as he pulled away. "You would do that?"

"How could I not? I want to be with you, Zuko. Always."

Zuko propped himself up on an elbow, brushing the hair from Katara's face and cupping her cheek. She reached up for his kiss, opening her mouth to his tongue as he cradled her head, loving the feel of her soft breath on his face. Gently, he took her bottom lip between his teeth and pulled; Katara moaned at the feeling, fisting her hand in his sleep-tossed hair.

He moved to the curve of her jaw, then her neck, covering her pulse with his mouth. Zuko gently rolled her to her back and she smiled. She studied the ceiling as he traced her favorite path with his lips, her eyes bright with amusement as she spoke. "So…this cabin."

His lips brushed her temple. "What about it?"

"Nothing. It's just that when most people say 'I love you', they bring something small."

She felt a kiss on her nose. "Do they?"

"Like flowers."

He trailed down her neck, then over her shoulder. "Flowers?"

"Yeah, flowers. You built a cabin."

He planted a long, lingering kiss on her lips, pulling away to respond. "I needed to get your attention. We're a little past flowers, don't you think?"

She smiled, shaking her head at him. "Come on. That's not the only reason you built it. You were hoping for exactly this scenario when you thought of this thing."

He resumed his trail down her body, kissing down the center of her collarbone as he spoke. "Damn right, I was."

"So you had to _build a cabin_ just so we could have sex?"

He smirked, rolling fully on top of her, taking pride in the laughter he caused. He caught her lips for a sweet kiss, ending it only to arch an eyebrow her way. "Are you complaining?"

"No."

"Then shut up for a second."

He caught her lips again, kissing her deeper this time, loving the way it made her sigh. She felt his arousal hot against her leg and smiled, a breathy laugh escaping. "Are you always so excitable in the morning?"

He cupped her face, eyes shining. "Never like this."

He was full of a tenderness that took her prisoner. She was nothing but sensation, a body that ached with love every place his skin touched hers. His tongue begged entrance to her mouth as his hand caressed her breast; her lips parted in a sigh and he took full advantage, gently coaxing her tongue with his. Katara slid her hands up his chest, relishing the shudder she received when she passed over his nipples. She repeated the motion and earned a roll of his hips, grinding his arousal against her, where she needed it most. Her eyes fluttered shut as he repeated the motion, hips tilting to meet him as she felt her body react.

It wasn't long before she was hot and ready for him, her breath a wanton panting against his cheek. He slowly guided himself into her, pleased to see it took less time for her to become acquainted with his size before meeting his movements, thrust for thrust. He set a slow, sinuous rhythm, a gentle rolling of waves between them that left Katara wanting more, so much more than she was getting. She tried to pick up their pace, but she felt his grip tighten on her hips, keeping her slow and meeting his strokes.

"Not yet," came the scratchy whisper at her ear, a struggled request that she wasn't sure she could fulfill. She felt herself clench around him and sighed, glad for the added friction as he thrust. It still wasn't enough. Katara attempted to guide his hand between their bodies, anxious to feel him rub the bundle of nerves that called for his touch, but he would not be swayed. Zuko was lost in the wonder of Katara, wanting this paradise to last as long as possible.

Katara relented for a moment, but it wasn't long before she felt the tension building even higher, her center wound tight and begging to spring loose. In an act of necessity, Katara rolled them over so Zuko was below her, amazed at how he felt inside her. She stilled for a moment, gazing down at him through her lashes; her hair was unbound and fell free to her waist, golden nipples peaking through as she adjusted to this new position. Zuko was entranced, his hands smoothing up her thighs and over her backside to wrap around her full hips. He could only manage one word, as he took in the sight of Katara unleashed and bare before him, riding him like a goddess.

"Beautiful."

The blush that painted her cheek only enhanced the picture. She leaned over to give him a kiss, the tips of her hair tickling his chest, then bracing her hands on his forearms, taking charge of their motions with her on top.

She was unprepared for how much deeper he would reach this way. He stroked a place far within that she'd never felt before. Her body ached to continue the motion, and she obeyed her primal instincts, rolling and grinding as she felt him grow within her. Zuko moved one of her arms to the bed, his other hand resting in the arch of her back, guiding her to brace herself on the mattress as she rode him. He felt his own tension rising and sat up to capture her nipple in his mouth, suckling her in time with their torturous pace, a wave that kept building and building. They were near to crashing within moments.

Zuko thrust into her as his fingers finally found her nub, teasing her center at the peak of his stroke; it was her undoing. She started to clench around him and he felt himself stiffen in response, his arms latching around her body, head buried in her neck as they came. Her head dropped to his shoulder as they rode the waves of pleasure together, keenly feeling every place they touched on her oversensitive skin. When they finally stilled, Katara felt herself caught in the strength of his arms, gently rolling their joined bodies so they were face to face, legs and arms a tangled mass on the bed.

She felt a satisfied smile grow on her face, even as he eased out of her. He pressed a swift kiss to her lips before resting his head against her chest. She cradled his head against her, absently toying with his hair as their breathing returned to normal.

Her voice was soft, but he heard it reverberate through her chest. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For not giving up on me."

He pressed a kiss over her still-pounding heart, looking up into her eyes in contentment. "I never could."

* * *

When they woke for the second time the sun was higher in the sky, and they knew they should think about getting up. But getting up was so much more than getting ready for the day. Getting up meant finding the others and telling them…something. Something that they hadn't quite figured out yet.

Katara found her wrappings in a pile on the floor and turned, winding the linen around her chest, tucking in the ends with small knots. She found her undergarments, then her dress, but when she stood to tie it, she felt a tug around her waist. She turned to follow the pull and saw Zuko, sitting up in bed with the sheets half around his waist, tugging the belt from her dress. She narrowed her eyes at him, trying to keep amusement from her face. "I need that."

"Do you?"

"Yes."

"Really?"

"Yes, really. We agreed. We're going to get up, and we're going to see the others. And I'd rather not do that half naked."

Zuko made a show of winding the belt around his hand. "So what I'm hearing is that if you're half naked, we can't get up and see the others."

"Right."

"Oh well. Looks like we're staying put," Zuko lit a small flame in his empty palm, slowly moving his hands together. The look on her face was shocked and grave.

"Don't. You. Dare."

He arched a playful eyebrow her way, daring to move his hands slightly closer together, but Katara was having none of it. She pulled water through the open window and doused the flame, quickly whipping the excess back through the window. Katara launched herself at the bed, her expression breaking as she struggled to pull the belt off his hand, a small smile curling at her lips. "Will you stop it?"

Zuko managed to pull his arm behind his back, eyes alight with humor as she attempted to pry him off the mattress. She blew the hair out of her face. "Come on…give it back, Zuko!"

Finally she pinned him to the bed, fully aware he was getting exactly what he wanted, but she had a trick left to play. She pressed her body against his in a very deliberate fashion, slowly sliding down his chest as her lips found his. It wasn't long before Zuko sat up of his own accord, looping his arms around her waist to pull her closer. She distracted him long enough to slip the belt off his hand, then promptly shoving him back down, tying it fast around her waist in victory. "Ha. There. I win."

"I dunno, last time you had me pinned like this, I think we both wound up winners."

His smirk was contagious, and though she rolled her eyes, she too was replaying the recent memories in her mind. "Even so. We agreed, Zuko. Now get up and get dressed."

Katara clambered off the bed and threw him his shirt. Zuko caught it and reluctantly shrugged it over his shoulders, stepping into the rest of his clothing before lying back down, hands folded behind his head. Katara was busy brushing her hair as he spoke. "I don't know why we have to tell everyone right now. Most of them already know."

"They do not."

"Suki does, Toph had it figured out the second we stood near each other, and I'm sure Aang isn't far behind."

"Well Sokka doesn't know."

She caught his momentary flinch of tension before he schooled his features, and she turned to face him, hand on her hip, voice full of surprise. "Zuko…are you afraid of _Sokka_?"

"What? No!"

Katara eyed him and he grew less convincing under her stare, shuffling out of bed, his shirt still hanging open. Her expression was bright with amusement. "You are, aren't you?"

Zuko tried his best to give his voice an edge of condescension. "Trust me. I am _not_ afraid of Sokka."

"Yes you are, you said it yourself. Everyone else probably knows by now, but Sokka has no clue. The question is, why are you scared?"

"Katara, I really don't—"

"Come on…"

"Katara, stop it, I'm not—"

She walked into his personal space, curling her body against his chest until he caved, moving his arms around her as he laughed, relenting. She looked up with pleading eyes. "Please?"

Zuko sighed. "Fine. I'm nervous about telling Sokka because…well I don't have that many male friends…really he's the only one I have who's not your ex-boyfriend. And I don't want him to be mad at me because—"

"You're sleeping with his sister?"

"Something like that."

Katara laughed, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek. "Honestly, Zuko. We've got an entire nation to convince, and you're afraid of my brother?"

He shrugged. "They have to listen to me, I'm their Fire Lord. Sokka? Not so much."

Katara shook her head in amusement, pulling him closer by his still-open shirt. "It'll be fine."

"I know."

He still sounded unconvinced. Katara pulled his shirt around his waist, tying it with his belt. "It will."

"Okay."

She laced their fingers together and pressed a quick kiss to the back of his hand. "Then what are you waiting for? Let's go."

* * *

The rest of the group was sitting outside on the porch when they arrived, Aang and Suki feeding Appa a large bale of hay as Toph and Sokka joked about something or other. It was refreshingly normal. Despite her previous assertions, Katara was starting to feel her heartbeat increasing, her throat going dry in nervousness. She felt Zuko look down at her with terror in his eyes, and she knew she had to be the rational one. She gave him a reassuring look and he nodded, exhaling to calm himself.

As they approached the porch, they quickly let go of each other's hands, forcing some distance between them. It didn't matter. The moment Toph felt them coming, she knew exactly what was up. It all made so much sense now, all the nerves, the awkwardness. And there was only one reason for them to still feel nervous and awkward now.

Sokka turned on the pair first. "Where were you guys? We were about to send out a search party."

Zuko glanced to Katara who gave a small shrug. He cleared his throat. "Uh…well, actually that's something we wanted to talk about."

"You guys did it, didn't you?"

Katara and Zuko immediately flushed bright red as they turned to the small Earth Bender, entirely unappreciative of the huge smile on her face. "Well?"

Katara found her voice first, though it had jumped an octave in embarrassment. "Uh…not the point, Toph."

Her lack of denial astounded Sokka. His mouth hung agape as his sister continued. "The point is…Zuko and I are together now. And so when we leave here, I'll be going back with him to the Fire Nation."

Katara braced herself for the inevitable explosion from her older brother, but it seemed she'd done the impossible and shocked him into silence. The congratulations of the others came first as Sokka merely stood there, eyes large, jaw hanging open.

Suki walked up and hugged them both. "Congratulations, you two. I'm glad you worked it out."

Aang was close behind, and Katara was glad to see that despite Toph's complete lack of tact, he seemed genuinely happy. He hugged Katara and spoke low so only she would hear. "I'm glad you found each other. I really am."

Katara's smile showed her relief. "Thank you. That means a lot to me."

Aang and Zuko shared a short embrace, and even Toph seemed a little emotional as she punched Zuko in the shoulder. Eventually all eyes fell back on Sokka, who was still stuck in shock. Katara rolled her eyes, hand on her hip. "Really, Sokka. Can you just say something already?"

Sokka blinked twice, finally gaining some control of his voice. "But I mean…am I the only one who thinks this is out of _nowhere_?"

Suki and Toph spoke together in the same exasperated tone. "Yes."

That seemed to confuse Sokka out of his shock. "Wait, what? Really?"

Suki sighed, taking her boyfriend by the hand and walking towards the house. "Come on."

"But Suki, he's…he's with my—"

"None of that. Now come on."

"Why? What are you doing?"

"Distracting you."

And with that, Suki pulled Sokka along, dragging him back to her room to put some sense in his head.

* * *

As anticipated, an evening with Suki was more than enough to put Sokka's overprotective nature to rest. He joined them that night for dinner, and they all celebrated the first year of peace together. The last few days of their vacation were filled with laughter and days at the beach, and no one asked where Zuko and Katara went at night. They all knew. The cabin was theirs, strictly off limits, and the new couple appreciated their friends' understanding.

By the end of the week, everyone felt the vacation coming to an end. There were things to do, people to see. Nations to run. Aang offered to drop Toph, Sokka, and Suki off in the Earth Kingdom before resuming his tour in the North Pole, so when Katara and Zuko waved goodbye to a disappearing Appa, they were the only two left at the house.

The royal ship arrived to take Zuko back the next day, and the crew's surprise was obvious when they learned that Zuko would not be travelling alone. Katara assumed that he would've sent some sort of message, something to let people know, but as she felt the eyes of every crewmember lingering on her, she realized how wrong she was. Every step she took she felt the discomfort setting in. It was palpable, and though she held her head high and walked with pride, she felt her shoulders sag with relief as they entered Zuko's quarters.

"They don't want me here."

Zuko crossed to Katara, taking her face between his hands. His voice was calming. "Don't worry about them."

"You saw that, right? How they all stared at me?"

"I said, don't worry about them," he smoothed his thumbs over her cheeks, slowly kissing her lips. She responded, glad for the support he offered. She took a shaky breath, nodding her head. "Why didn't you send a message or something? At least then they would've been expecting me."

"I didn't want them to expect you."

"Why not?"

"Because I wanted to see how they would react. To see what we can expect from the rest of the nation."

She sighed, looking up into his eyes. "Okay. So…what do you think?"

"It won't be easy."

"I know."

"It'll get worse than just staring."

"I figured."

"But I promise you, it will get better. Because I'll make it better." He pulled her into his arms, holding her in a tight embrace. He spoke in her ear as he felt her reciprocate. "We're in this together, Katara."

She nodded, feeling his fingers wind in her hair to pull her closer. "I love you, too."

* * *

Despite Katara's fears, the voyage back was surprisingly uneventful. The crew had overcome the initial shock, and though it was still strained and uncomfortable, they kept any comments to themselves. When they disembarked, they were met by a royal guard and led back to the palace. Katara's nerves were working overtime, but Zuko held her hand firmly, her unshakable anchor, keeping her sane.

A few Council members were speaking with Iroh on the steps of the courtyard when they arrived, but all conversation stopped as they turned the corner into view. The council members looked obviously shocked, some astonished and upset, others merely surprised. Iroh turned to face them, watching as Zuko tucked Katara's arm into the crook of his elbow, giving her a reassuring wink. They stopped in front of them, standing tall, standing together.

Zuko spoke first, his voice full of deference. "Uncle."

Iroh could only smile. "Finally."

Katara released the breath she didn't know she'd been holding, the older man's joy and relief instantly calming her. _At least one person here looks happy to see me._

Zuko and Katara climbed the steps and embraced Iroh, happily walking into the palace together, ignoring the murmurs from the Council as they followed the couple inside. At that moment, Katara made a decision. She'd seen the stress of ruling etched on Zuko's face at Ember Island. Now that she was here, she would do her best to erase it in any way she could.

* * *

Within weeks of her arrival, Katara became heavily involved in the hospitals and healing efforts in the Fire Nation. In a few short months, the head administrators were calling her essential. So it came as no surprise that after a year of hard work and dedication, Katara was invited to attend her first Council meeting. Though she didn't enter with the rest of the Council members, as many expected. She entered in full royal attire at Zuko's side, a deep red dress with the gold sigil of the Fire Nation embroidered on her chest.

Katara heard only a couple murmurs as she and Zuko took their seats at the head of the Council table. She'd grown accustomed to the soft hum of whispers following her wherever she went, and she told herself that this was no different. Sure, some of the most vehement opposition came from one or two councilors in this room, but she refused to let them faze her. _We've made it through a whole year of this. Just remember what Zuko said. Show them you're not going anywhere and they'll get over it._

Zuko called the Council to order and addressed the first councilor. She rose and went over the itinerary for the meeting, but Katara wasn't listening. One man at the end of the table was openly staring, his face contorted with disgust. She kept her expression impassive, seeming not to notice him, watching from the corner of her eye as this sent him further into fits of quiet rage. It was nearly comical. She recognized this man, though she couldn't ever remember being introduced to him. He had been one of her most vocal opponents in almost every endeavor she'd undertaken. He controlled finances, so all projects dealt with him. She sighed as the meeting continued, until finally they were discussing her work with the hospitals.

Zuko turned to her, asking for her input on the expansion plan one of the hospital administrators had put forward. Katara looked at the documents before her, searching for a vital piece of information. There was no way she could comment on the expansions until she knew what the budget would be for the project.

"I seem to be missing a page. Do we have the proposed budget so we can do this responsibly?"

The grumpy Councilor shifted in his seat, but did not acknowledge her comment. Zuko rolled his eyes. "Councilor Ovik, has the treasury come up with a budget for this project yet?"

"We have not, Fire Lord Zuko."

"And why is that?"

"Because I don't believe this project to be a good use of the treasury's funds."

"That's strange. Because I don't recall asking for your opinion on the matter, I remember asking for a number."

Zuko's barbed response silenced the room, and all eyes snapped to Ovik, curious what he would do. He stared up at Zuko from his position at the table, keeping his eyes narrow and his words clipped.

"I would be happy to provide you with a number, Fire Lord. You are the ruler of this Nation and the money in the treasury is yours, not your lowborn harlot's."

Katara's rage was burning hot, but she did her best to keep an impassive face, knowing she didn't need to add to the fire beside her. Zuko's fingers were itching with flames; Katara swore she could feel the heat radiating off his body. His voice was low. "You will take that back, and you will apologize."

Ovik had the nerve to laugh. "I will do no such thing, I have nothing to apologize for."

"Is that so?"

"Precisely. I'm doing what's best for the Fire Nation by keeping our money safe."

"That's what you think you're doing?"

"Yes! I don't like that this Water Tribe _peasant_ is privy to this much information! I don't trust her."

"Well it's a good thing she's not _your_ wife, then, isn't it?"

Zuko's shout rang in the air, but not half so loud as that short, four-letter word. Even Katara turned a wide-eyed gaze to Zuko as Ovik's eyes bugged. He seemed to sputter as he wrapped his head around what Zuko was insinuating. "Wife? But Fire Lord Zuko—"

Zuko was not backing down. His voice was full of conviction. "Yes. Wife. She is your future Fire Lady, so if you value your position at all, you will make a formal apology and beg her forgiveness."

"Or what?"

"Or face an _Agni Kai_."

The councilor narrowed his eyes. "You may be Fire Lord, but you flatter yourself. If you think I can't beat a cocky, nineteen year old _boy_ —"

"Not me. Her," Zuko gestured to his side where Katara had recovered her wits and was staring down this insolent man. She pulled the water from the Council's cups on the table into two balls, freezing them and leveling her gaze at Ovik. Zuko's eyes were bright with a hard shine as he turned back to the Councilor, daring him onward. "Tell me, what do you think your odds are against a Master Waterbender?"

The threat of a very pissed off Master Waterbender was apparently what it took to settle Ovik down. He bit his tongue and shuffled some papers before he cleared his throat and murmured a low apology. Katara lowered the water back into the cups, taking special care with the one in front of Ovik, turning the water before him steaming hot, then to a frozen solid before finally letting it sit in his cup. He seemed to get the message.

After Ovik's terrible outburst, it was clear no further work would be accomplished. The meeting ending rather abruptly, and while they left the chamber with heads held high, Katara couldn't help but lean over and whisper to Zuko.

"We need to—"

"Talk. I know."

* * *

They walked to their chambers and Zuko sent away the guards, afraid this conversation could get loud. He was running through all the ways he could possibly apologize or excuse his outburst. Ovik was a bigoted idiot, but he'd always been that way. And that was no reason to go blurting out that he thought of Katara as his wife…especially when he hadn't even told her yet.

The door closed behind them and Zuko immediately pulled the crown from its place., running a finger through his shaggy hair with a sigh. Katara just stood there, sensing that he had a lot to say. Zuko was full of nervous energy, pacing in front of Katara as he spoke.

"Alright, before you say anything, yes. I know that was a terrible way to first spring this on you, and I know I shouldn't just assume that because we've been together for a year that we should get married, but I just couldn't listen to Ovik prattle on any longer, because you have ten times the honor in your _little finger_ than he—"

Katara lovingly rolled her eyes and silenced his ramblings with a soft tug on his collar, pulling Zuko in for a quieting kiss. She reached up on her toes as he opened his mouth to her, quelling his nervous spirit with her arms around his neck. She pulled away, running her nose along the length of his before capturing his gaze, her voice full of adoration. "Zuko. Relax. It's fine."

"It is?"

"Yes. You didn't freak me out. I've told you a thousand times, I'm not going anywhere. Never again."

His arms curled around her, hands fisted in the small of her back. He rested his forehead against hers as his breathing returned to normal. "Good."

She smiled as he sighed, watching as he relaxed in front of her. She shrugged her shoulders, not letting him out of her embrace, and trailed a hand up to his chest, toying with the crest that matched her own. "Kind of has a ring to it, though."

"What does?"

She smirked and it quirked her lips in a way he'd come to love. "I dunno. Fire Lady Katara? I could get used to that."

She felt his strong hand grasp the back of her neck, his mouth molding her lips to his in a searing kiss. His other hand trailed down the column of her neck, the light brush of his fingers sending tingles down her spine. His eyes were bright as he pulled away, staring down at her, holding her very firm and very still. His serious voice emanated from deep in his chest. "Don't tease me about this."

"I'm not. I don't need a wedding to prove that I'm committed to you, but I want you to know that I'm ready. I know what marrying you means, I'm not just getting a husband, I'm getting a whole nation. And I want it. I want the responsibility. I want _you_ , forever."

Zuko wondered in that moment if a heart could burst with joy. He took her hands in his and held them hard, throat tight with emotion, voice deep. "Katara. Will you marry me?"

A happy tear fell down her cheek as she nodded. "Yes."

Zuko scooped her up, into his arms, carrying her to their bed. The bed they would always share, for the rest of their lives. It didn't matter that they hadn't had a ceremony yet. It didn't matter that there was no Fire Priest or family to watch them say the words. In that moment, they became husband and wife, Fire Lord and Lady, committed in love for the rest of their days. They disrobed quickly and joined together instantly, relishing the feeling of completion it brought. And as they held onto each other, racing towards oblivion, they knew this love would last forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! I would love your last reviews on how you think this chapter went.
> 
> And yes, the ending lines are pretty cheesy. I make no apologies. :D


	11. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Five years (and a couple months) later..._

Katara felt the sun on her face and sighed, knowing her days of sleeping in were long over. Since she'd started sharing a bed with Zuko, gone were her occasional lazy mornings. Sleeping with a Firebender meant rising with the dawn. She turned as he stirred, smirking at his restlessness. He tried to fight it, knowing she liked an extra hour or two some mornings, but Katara knew his fake sleeping all too well by now. She shook her head, propping herself up on an elbow.

"You're awake. Might as well admit it."

Zuko's eyes opened to reveal how very alert he was. He looked up at her sheepishly. "Sorry."

"You tried," she brushed a kiss to his forehead, smoothing back his long black hair, chiding all the while. "Since you also try to stay up when the moon is full, I guess I can forgive you."

"You think I do that just for you? You really don't know what you're like on the full moon, do you?"

Katara arched a brow as Zuko sat up, stretching his arms across his bare chest before standing from the bed. She held her quizzical look even as he turned to find his robe. "I'm not sure I know what you mean, Zuko."

He slipped the robe over his shoulders and turned, his expression quirked with disbelief. "Really."

"Nope. Haven't a clue."

"So pushing through my personal guard to throw yourself at me, and then dragging me away as you blithely reordered my schedule is _normal_ behavior?"

"You were gone for _two months_."

Zuko laughed, shaking his head. She smirked as the memory sent a pleasant tingle down her spine. "You knew what you were getting and you asked to marry me anyway. I make no apologies."

Zuko's eyes found hers, his golden gaze radiating warmth and humor. "Don't you dare."

It still thrilled her to see him this carefree. Laughing and joking in the bedroom they shared…she never thought they would get so lucky. Zuko broke her reverie as he tossed her blue dress at the bed. "Come on. Can't be late for these meetings."

Zuko watched her move to stand from the bed before crossing to another part of their chambers, the place where all his royal garments were kept. He closed the door that separated them and found himself immediately swarmed by servants, intent on helping him dress in the unnecessarily complex attire.

He still felt foolish standing still to let others help him dress, but they had compromised as well. Katara still couldn't stand others doing something she was entirely capable of doing herself, and so the staff had agreed to leave her undisturbed so long as Zuko submitted to their will. He gazed at the closed door and longed to be in the room on the other side, his room, their room. The room that no servants dared enter. The room he and Katara cleaned themselves, decorated themselves, kept all to themselves. It was solely theirs, the only place in the palace where they would always be free of intrusion.

With his early morning routines finished, he courteously thanked the servants and watched them leave, waiting for the door to slide completely closed before moving to the door to their bedroom. He was about to turn the handle when he heard something he hadn't before. Katara was talking aloud, in secret, hushed tones. Sometimes she sang to herself, sometimes there was an odd comment here or there, but never full conversations. Which meant…someone was in their room.

_But who?_

* * *

Katara had carefully watched the dressing room door close before she knocked on another door, the one that led to the hall outside. She never liked hiding things from Zuko, but this was too important. The last thing she wanted to do was say something too early and get his hopes up. She had to know for sure before she could tell him that…her face lit up with a brilliant smile as she closed her eyes, running a tentative hand across her stomach.

_There you are._

She felt a tiny, pulsing warmth growing steadier every day. A small, amazing gift that maybe, if they were lucky, would grow into a child. She smirked as she gazed down at her still-flat stomach. It already felt like Zuko; warm but guarded, not wanting to give anything away. And yet somehow there were also moments the little warmth felt like her element, swaying and changing in her own inner currents. It was too soon to tell, far too soon to know for sure…but Katara wished with all that she had that she wasn't looking into much into things.

Which is why she'd sent for the wisest woman she knew. Katara turned to see Gran-Gran stealthily slipping into her room, answering her secret knock. She and Pakku were in the Fire Nation on business from the Northern Water Tribe, or so the official story went. The truth was that Katara had sent a letter begging for a second opinion weeks ago, and the elderly couple had been staying in the palace for the past few days. This was the first chance she'd had to be completely alone with Gran-Gran, and she wasn't going to waste it.

She looked at her grandmother with bated joy, bending the water from the small basin she carried to coat her hands. She watched them shake, searching Gran-Gran's eyes for strength.

Kanna smiled at her granddaughter. "It's alright, my dear. You can do this."

Katara nodded, taking a deep breath. "I'm just so nervous…what if it's not—"

"Then you'll find a way to move on and try again."

Katara sighed heavily, attempting to will her nerves away and finding no success. "And what if it is? Are we really ready for a child, Gran?"

Kanna opened her mouth to speak, but she didn't get the chance to say a word. Zuko burst through the dressing room door, his foot catching in his long royal robes in his hurry. He tripped and stumbled, barely stabilizing himself mere inches in front of Katara. Their gazes locked, gold and sapphire, both unable to speak for a long moment.

It was Zuko who eventually broke the silence, clearing his throat. His voice was low; she could hear the nervousness clinging to his words. "A child?"

Her eyes flicked down to her hands, still covered in water. He continued, pressing the matter. "Katara…are you pregnant?"

She couldn't look up, too worried what she might see. It wasn't until Zuko's hand cupped her cheek and guided her gaze that she saw the hidden elation in his eyes, the joy he was keeping back until he heard her answer. It gave her the courage to speak.

"I don't know yet. I wanted to be sure before I said anything."

Zuko nodded, swallowing hard. "Makes sense."

"Yeah."

"So…how will you be sure, then?"

Kanna stepped in, wrapping her hands lightly around Katara's wrists, guiding them over her stomach. "Here. Like this."

Zuko moved to back away, but Kanna stopped him with a grandmotherly smile and shake of the head, motioning for him to take her place. He did so, gingerly smoothing his hands down Katara's tan arms to rest just above the glowing water. The waterbender's eyes slipped closed and she waited, breathing steadily, waiting to feel that tiny spark of life she'd felt so many times in her youth in the Southern Water Tribe, but it was so much different this time. This time her hands were on her own belly, and her own heart pounding in her ears made it difficult to concentrate.

Zuko stepped closer, resting his forehead against hers as they waited together, trying not to breathe too loud as if it would be scared away by the sound. His nearness gave her strength. It calmed her enough to proceed.

It was the longest silence of their lives. They both had a moment of doubt, afraid it was taking too long.

Then it happened. They felt the smallest pulse against the water, a gentle ripple that spread up Katara's palms and curled around Zuko's fingers. His head snapped up, eyes searching her face for a sign. "Was that—"

A satisfied grin spread over Katara's face as her eyes welled up with tears. Her voice was a happy whisper. "It was."

"It was?"

She was glowing. "It was! Gran-Gran, come here!"

Kanna was already crying by the time she added her hands to Zuko's, confirming what they all already knew. "It's a heartbeat. It's strong, too."

Zuko couldn't stop staring at his hands, at the perfect rhythm of the ripples playing out over Katara's stomach. _A heartbeat. A heart. A child._ Our _child._

He wrapped Katara firmly in his arms, not caring that the water fell to the floor and soaked his robes, not caring that he would have to call the servants to change again. A permanent smile was etched on his face that day, a smile that he would later claim was the cause of the early laugh lines already on his face.

Zuko pulled away enough to take Katara's face between his palms, scrunching up her hair as he looked deep into her eyes. "I love you _so much_."

Katara was too happy to speak, her voice coming out in joyful sobs as Zuko brushed tender kisses all over her cheeks, her eyes, her lips. Kanna waited until he stopped to pull Katara into a loving embrace, kissing her forehead as she wiped away a tear. "If it's alright with you, I'd like to tell Pakku. He can get word to your father and Sokka if you like."

Katara nodded, unable to stop smiling. "Yes. Please do."

The couple watched as the door closed, their own personal world surrounding them again. They locked eyes at the same moment and laughed, unable to stop their joy from overflowing. Zuko's hands rested comfortably in the small of her back as she reached up to loop her arms around his neck, pressing her lips to his in a tender kiss. She lingered there, moving no faster and no slower, simply kissing, simply loving.

When Katara pulled away she saw the first glimpse of doubt in his eyes. She knew what he was thinking.

"You won't be like him. I know you're afraid, but you won't be."

The edge of a tear formed in his eye, but Zuko held it back. "How can you be so sure?"

"Because you are your mother's child." Katara cupped his cheek in her palm, running her thumb over his scar in the comforting way that soothed him. "You'll love her too much for anything else."

Zuko felt his tears falling in earnest now, his voice breaking in realization. "Her?"

The smile on Katara's lips said it all. "Her."


End file.
